Jokes on you im into that shit.
You’re such a brownnoser.
Literally
Don’t care about bumhole or the pinch, but I’d propose instantly due to the humor.
Exaaaactly this. If you can’t laugh at yourself and me while we’re naked doing fun things, idk how much fun you’re having, really.
I remade this meme in a different format because the stupid p*say thing and the dumb pic
No way is Elon Musk that cool.
Exactly. Also, you know he’d hate to be this hypothetical kind of person.
“He was licking my balls from behind and his nose accidentally touched my butthole, so in clenched my cheeks and said ‘got your nose Donald’ and he kept coming back for more”
That’s actually hilarious, apart from idiotic censorship of “pussy”.
“pussy”“pusay”
Pisay Pao. Z Nation was fun.
You got his nose but he’s got pink eye
He’s mad because she never gave it back.
Probably fucking dead. Hard to breath without a nose.
If a woman did that to me I’d propose on the spot.
Well it’s been a while, wink wink.
Oh my, now I’m blushing.
I don’t miss the sorry excuse for a human I used to have sex with. I miss the sex. Solo activities make me feel lonely though, and I can’t navigate someone new at this age. So it’s all just drying up like an old chip.
I’m sorry to hear that. I miss a lot, both the sex and the feeling of closeness with someone. My social life in general has more or less evaporated in the past few years, so the challenge of navigating someone new isn’t even an option for me.
It’s so hard. I’m sorry.
I mean, I think the described action counts as a proposal…
She was probably on (at least) one knee and she put a ring on it…
Balls are a fellator’s shield against unintentionally playing the back nine, and I’m insulted that god gave them to only half of us.
as the scrotum is easily the ugliest body part, bar none, for either sex, I gotta disagree.
you can shave it, dress it up, put a bow on it, nothing’s gonna change the fact that it’s a shriveled sack of nuts.
There was a subreddit for people putting like outfits on their peckers, and that’s about the only thing I think the fediverse is missing. And before anybody tells me to start that community, I don’t have a dick of my own, and yes, I’m aware that it’s a skill issue.
Borrowing is not an option?
Every time I’ve ever mentioned that there’s people who do this, the reactions I get from people who have one are… not pleased.
Actually now that I think about it, I think it’s because most of those folks don’t want to see other people’s Johnsons. I guess there’s not as much overlap between people who have dingalings and people who want to see them as there could be.
The only thing?
There was a subreddit for people putting like outfits on their peckers
hurk
Now now, let’s not kinkshame.
you’re right…
but you gotta know sometimes the hurk is involuntary
Couldn’t help thinking of this sketch… https://youtube.com/watch?v=alwARbVmWjQ
classic
honestly you don’t want a guy with no sense of humor anyway
A actual shitpost
It’s important not to peak too early. How was he ever suppose to top that?
My wife loved this
who hasn’t had this happen to them more than once
A devote Amish, I’d assume.
How do you think they pass all that time with no technology? Sure, they missed The Wire and Deadwood, but they’ve discovered sexual techniques that are still 150 years out for the rest of us.
If we are talking about devoted Amish, they literally only have sex for the purpose of procreation, sometimes through a sheet in some cases. Sex for recreation, including oral or anal, are verboten under the Amish Ordnung oral traditions.
In practice, there is sexual “deviancey” and sex had with some degree of knowledge that doing so is not strictly for procreation. Due to cultural aspects, there is shame brought in by such things that they have to get right with God about. Rumspringa, think last repreve before devoting to the Amish life, is usually when young Amish sow some wild oats with some abandon with the English(outsiders) if they so choose.
If you are a single man going through Amish country and see a mailbox with a bag on it, it is an invitation to donate your genetics to the community. Don’t expect hot and steamy throws of passion, you are fucking through a sheet while the elders preside over the breeding session in the same room.
If you are a single man going through Amish country and see a mailbox with a bag on it, it is an invitation to donate your genetics to the community.
Wait what???
It is a thing, but uncommon.
For whatever reason they may find it to get some outside genetics to avoid genetic stagnation issues, infertility, or whatever, so they cover the mailbox as an invitation for outside help.
It is highly transactional and utilitarian. The potential father may be given simple gifts for the assistance, but it usually is a handshake affair and the gifts are more a hospitality thing.
Don’t go driving through Amish lands hunting some preindustrial strange, you are unlikely to find it… But you could get lucky.
Can I put a bag on their mailboxes to volunteer? How do you know this? Are you aware of this having happened? Do the elders literally just stand there with their arms crossed and go, “Hmm, yes, quite.” What happens if I have a really violently explosive orgasm, like just Tarzan screaming and collapsing into a heap of shuddering putty on top of the blanket woman. I assume that would be frowned upon? Or can I enjoy the one time, since it’s procreative?
I have heard it from a credible source who relayed a first hand experience going through with it. I have no reason to question either telling, as it was more of an embarrassing story and it is a practice that is known to occur near Amish areas from time to time.
You obviously couldn’t volunteer someone, you aren’t a king entitled to prima nocta.
I have no idea how your one-sided throws of passion would be recieved by the elders, as the account I heard was rather embarrassing and barely effective in immediate results. My understanding is the elders are there to prevent sexual assault or improper conduct, probably somewhere between a cucking and a urinalysis observer’s dutiful gaze.
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To be fair, maybe fucking through a sheet IS the advanced sexual practice of the future and we’re missing out. I, for one, have never tried it. I tend to think I’m above it, because “normal” to me is the horrifying display of unfortunate nude bodies and their fluids clumsily flailing about until she gets upset for one reason or another. Maybe with a sheet, it’d be easier to picture something nice? Tell me more about the elders presiding over my breeding session?
Joking aside, I’m legitimately fascinated now. I know there was a reality show, but are there any more bookish sources about Amish sexual practices, or do you know more? I suddenly have questions.
There was a book written a while ago that talked a lot about the breeding habits and sexuality of the Amish, I haven’t read it so I don’t know if they cover the rare practice of semen donor solicitation from the pre-industrial age.
Lowkey Wife material. That level of levity is super attractive
Love chowin box from behind like that. What a view.
