You absolute winner
You absolute king
You absolute beast
Im bad at this
No you’re not you absolute gummy bear
You guys are absolute stars!
Absolute winner and absolute beast are common compliments in my social group.
You absolute textbook.
Yeah, you.
How dare you say that? you absolute toothpaste
I think his name is based on “Harvey Dent”, and not “dentistry” you absolute dolphin
Only a Sith deals in absolutes
You absolute genius
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“You […]” makes pretty much anything an insult.
A positive word implies sarcasm. “You genius”. “You hero”.
A random noun drags out the negative aspect of the noun or implies lack of a brain. “You french fry”. “You paper bag”.
Adding a random adjective just strengthens the statement. “You british bathroom sink”. “You beautiful parking lot”.
Of couse it depends on delivery, and using random words makes some strange insults, but I rarely see “you […]” turn into a positive compliment.
You Beautiful parking lot
This sounds like something Leslie Knope would call Ann Perkins.
Almost any adjective works. It’s the ‘you’ part that implies ire and intended denigration.
You incredible sock! You blind carrot! You empty bottle! You missing tooth! You complete thumb! You glazed pie! You stewed milk! You wet sandwich! You frosted toenail! You waxy discharge! You nauseous chifferobe!
Okay maybe not every one of them works but I think most of the time you can just put on a bad attitude and attach a adjective to an object to create some rare insults.
I think it works best with an adjective that has 3+ syllables. E.g. You incorrigible turnip You reprehensible teapot You abominable spoon You acephalous sandwich
Absolute unit.
Whoops, I broke it.
You absolute strawberry plant
You absolute fishtank
You absolute houseplant
Yeah, this checks out
You absolute value
you absolut vodka
I’ve watched all of the Gordon Ramsey Kitchen Nightmares series and it’s full of these, except it’s usually fuckin’ instead of absolute.
My favorite is when after having lunch he went back to the kitchen to find they were just microwaving everything. The exchange went something like this:
“Did I have anything for lunch that wasn’t microwaved?”
“your salad”
“Of course you don’t microwave a salad you fuckin’ donut”
Edit
Found the clip at 1:15 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so5eX9q3k9A
It’s a very British thing. Like adding “ed” to anything to mean very drunk. Hammered, trollied, steamed, cunted etc.
Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
Too much absolutism in this thread.
Good, good.
And add absolutely to the front of almost anything to describe how pissed you were. I was absolutely trousered/shedded/etc
You absolute noun
