Let’s start with a big-ass “H”!
The past is the past, surely more letters will fit in the same space!
But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
Matthew 24:36.
RTFM, noob.
“Read The Fisherman Matthew”?
Read the fucking moom
Reginald, The Fingerless Mittens!
Does this imply that the rapture won’t happen on any day any man or angel predicted it, and suggest that these crackpots are either delivering a “no rapture today” message from the Lord Almighty or else embarrassing Her into putting it off?
RTFB
It’s almost 9pm where I am and there’s no sign of it. Jesus better hurry his ass up if he wants to be on time.
Maybe everyone around you is a filthy sinner.
Maybe that’s been the joke for centuries. The rapture happened but nobody made the cut. Seems consistent with the Bible.
It’s currently September 19th
Dude, you’re already part god. You don’t get to be raptured.
I also don’t want to go to work
Good news: you don’t have to! You may end up losing your job and eating out of a dumpster, but you don’t have to.
Hi guys, its the 19th here in Australia already and I can confirm that I have been Left Behind to suffer heck on earth for being a sinner and Im super over it already.
You sure everybody got raptured and you’re not just in Australia?
I MISSED IT!?
No, they neglected to put the first part of the year, it’s happening in 2124.
Whew ok… Just 100 more years and I can learn to rap
It’s true. I’m getting raptured right n
Well, well, well. Look who became a gentile and got themselves raptured.
Okay, you got me, I’m still stuck here with all of you heretics
Liar! Sinner! You should be raptured immediately!
I think the “good people” are the ones who get raptured, but I’m really not sure.
….demon!
9-18-249-19-249-20-249-21-249-22-24I mean…if they keep this up they will be right eventually…right?
Like my wife, every day for 17 years, “That tree is going to fall down.”
Tree falls down.
“I told you so.”
LMFAO
They were always right about the date. They just were wrong about what Jesus is looking for.
God, I wish God would actually just end this cringe already.
so nobody can know the date of the rapture, and if someone figures it out god’ll change it?
what if I make a website that just says “the rapture will be [current date +1]”
checkmate?
They may have screwed up their ISO date format. They really mean it’ll happen on the 9th day of the 18th month of 2024.
It tracks
Never mind the old flippediroo of the day and month. What I want to know is why is there a dash in front of the date. I thought the separators went between the things to be separated.
It’s probably a coded message. Read it in the order of colors.
Jesus is rapture - 9-18-24 will on coming the happen.
It all makes sense!
JESUS IS THE RAPTURE
COMING WILL HAPPEN ON 9-18-24
sigh… if you insist
JESUS IS A RAPTOR
This image is stained on my occipital lobe
Haha! Yeah right, this is like the ten thousandth time they’ve s
Oh no, they were raptured mid-sentence! How nice of the angels to hit send before dragging them away.
Oh, shit! Who will water my plants?!
It’s your lucky day - I happen to run a post-rapture plant watering and pet sitting business - I’m sure as shit not getting raptured.
Great Scott! I was so busy packing, I forgot about the dog! Quick! What are your rates! Nevermind - here’s my bank info - I won’t need money anymore!!
No worries, friend - doggos to the left, wallets to the right - peace be with you and whatnot!
Oh, shit, I’m still here… Can I have my wallet and dog back please?!?
I’m not going to steal your dog, but refunds are unavailable in the event that the rapture or your participation in it is cancelled - sorry.
I’m guessing you haven’t had many customers yet?
Also, you think you’re not getting raptured but you are literally offering a good thing for people that won’t even pay you. Pretty sure Jesus would think you were dope.
I’m only a new startup, so I’m looking to take on my first clients.
I figure things will work out - people that believe in the rapture tend not to pay attention to all the “love thy neighbour”, golden rule, feed the hungry, bathe the lepers Jesus teachings…
If he follows through he’ll be in on round 2 of the rapture I guess
Jesus. Obvs.
Pretty sure pouring wine onto plants will kill them.
