Just painstakingly craft different personas based on the people you’re around, including a bland generic person for mass appeal, because you simply can’t handle the unending stream of ridicule.
The most important part is to not let different groups of people mix until you can safely merge the corresponding personas
Is this a thing? I thought I’m the only one who did it
Baby
Take off
Your coooool
I want to
Get to
Know yoooooooou
If that’s what they were singing about, I’d guess this isn’t all that weird.
Unfortunately, that fear is not based on instincts, but on prior experience
After “fear of getting ridiculed or mocked” I’d also add “or told you’re going to go to hell.”
Ugh.
What hobby/intrest got them to say that?
Anne Rice novels and heavy metal. My step dad quite literally thought I was in a cult.
Ha, I was expecting heavy metal
Honestly it was more the Anne Rice novels and witchy shit. Aesthetics.
I was expecting the Spanish Inquisition.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition
OP be like, “You have to start slow and work your way up to the girthier toys.”
I remember saying “I don’t listen to music” in high school and half of college because I didn’t feel I could listen to the music I enjoyed without being made fun of. I basically didn’t listen to music until I was in college and I had space to explore what I liked and didn’t like without peer pressure.
To this day I don’t listen to music in front of anyone other than my wife and kids. I still remember the exact derogatory quote that a person I thought was my friend said in regards to me showing them some music I liked… from about 40 years ago.
That’s one thing I instill in my kids, everyone is allowed to like and not like what they want and they should not be made fun of for any of their preferences.
Yeah, music is a weird one. I also always said I didn’t listen to music. I did listen to a lot of songs from video games though. When I was annoyed enough I told them something like Rock, but that always led to the question if I can name some artists or songs. Didn’t knew many. I hate these kinds of conversations.
What kind of music?
You’re taking the one bad experience with a so called friend too far.
It wasn’t just one experience, that’s just the one that sticks in my mind the most.
I was also a shy dorky kid and I avoided social conflict and I didn’t care enough to dive into music and find what I liked back then.
Sorry to hear that
F your so called friend. And I hope you get to enjoy music without shame for the rest of your life
I actually forgot how to be interested in thingd
It hurts the most when it’s your family :/ I’m 30 years old and I still have trouble saying “I want to watch this movie” when it’s just me and my husband having a movie night. Literally anything I wanted to watch or do in that house was somehow the weirdest thing anyone had ever heard of. That’s growing up in an Arkansas white-flight suburb for you.
I just plain don’t tell my mother anything. Every hobby is an opportunity to criticize and belittle, so why bother?
Exactly, think: How does my mother treat me? How should I treat her?
And then they get mad that you don’t tell them what you’re up to. Either listen and don’t belittle, or be a belittler and don’t expect to hear anything.
Pick one, you can’t have both.
I genuinely wish there was a license, or barring that, at least mandatory psych evaluations and training, to be a parent.
because jesus christ so many people seem to actively hate their children. You should encourage your children and hope they flourish. Not stamp them down and grind them into the concrete like an finished cigarette.
the real solution is that individuals shouldn’t be solely responsible for raising children, children should be raised collectively by at least like 5 people and ideally more like 50…
think about how kids would grow up in the past, they might not even be with their parents most of the time! Running around the village or local neighbourhood, staying at their friends’ house, buying groceries for old lady Stephens (who is effectively everyone’s grandmother) since she’s too old to walk to the store and then being treated to her homemade pastries, etc etc
humans just aren’t made to raise kids on their own, we’re made to share the responsibility so the kids can actually get all the attention they need, and they can get varied perspectives and knowledge.
There are plenty of people who have support networks and still treat their kids like shit, and/or abuse them.
I’d rather not give my family anything on me. I don’t like being judged or tasked to do things for them because I’m the techy one.
Also hate the spotlight
I too grew up in a southern military family. Interests other than football or otherwise hurting other people? That’s a paddlin
Did you know you can do both at the same time? Bonus
I don’t know about y’all but when I was in school there were only three kinds of kids; bullies, victims, and the ones who weren’t noteworthy enough to be victims most of the time. Nobody was immune to mockery, but at least occasionally people would have friends to stick up for them.
After years of the school doing nothing, I punched my bully. That got me in trouble and I had to switch schools.
But one thing that I have noticed is that the people that are mocked for their hobbies are also the one’s that are the most accepting of others.
My guess is they know the pain of being the butt of other people’s jokes and empathize with others more.
Or that others would take an obsessive, invasive interest in it that sucks the joy of of it.
Mine it mine it mine it, grind it down down down, get the juice, get the dope, get it quickly it’s almost gone, I love this I love this, damn it’s gone, okay what’s next oh yeah that, get it get it, mine it mine it
Technically. I don’t like other people getting all up in my business. So while it is part me not wanting to be mocked, it is also way more me not wanting them be excited and trying to join.
Having to deal with people positively means adjusting both your paces to work together. You can’t do what you want and when you want, you gotta coordinate. And that’s a pain in the ass.
I get no leisure from having to include someone else’s feelings in my personal enjoyment.
I used to think that way. Then I realized that in order for me to enjoy something I need to have someone to share it with.
And I used to think your way, but the “pain in the ass” feeling won in the end.
Liking things is so cringe.
I remember playing an anime game on my phone in high school, and this one classmate made fun of me for it. Not because of anime, he already knew I watch them and didn’t (seemingly, at least), care one way or the other. But because the game has a hub-like area where the characters are shown in a chibi design. He kept pestering me after that to try out Barbie games.
The “best” part? Dude literally said the game looked fun when he saw me playing the actual gameplay, and even asked me to let him play a round. Then the round ended, saw the hub, and he did a 180 on me and on the game.
To this day I don’t feel comfortable watching certain anime in public. I’m not even talking about ecchi here. Just basically any stuff that is “girly”.
You know, about that guy:
Yep. Took about half dozen attempts before i learned to keep myself to myself.
