Imagine opening a phishing link and suddenly your balls are taken hostage by a hacker
WannaCry? No, WannaCum.
Future kink
Cannot pee anymore :(
(because the pee is stored in the balls)
Or someone triggers this remotely after it has been off for like 2 years. You sit on Monday morning meeting. You get up to the screen to present your new project and boom.
After you get snipped, it’s potentially weeks/months before you are shooting blanks, a switch like this is less of babies/no babies and more like babies/accidental babies.
Edit: sorry for facts on shit post
Yes here is an article about it. Article
The relevant part. “The binary nature of the Bimek SLV might make it seem that you can switch off your potency at will, but the body will need time to flush existing sperm out of the system, as it were. The ever-helpful FAQ says that it may take up to three months, or “until about your 30th ejaculation.” Whichever comes first is a question only you can answer.”
30th ejaculation? pfft, hold my beer and watch this.
Yep. For anyone who’s that serious about not having children, that’s more like an incentive.
Source: got snipped.
When I got mine, the doc said I should wait about two weeks then “ejaculate as frequently as possible” before returning for the scheduled checkup/semen test.
Doctor’s orders! 🫡
Lol I was given the same advice.
“Go home, rest up for two weeks, the bust as much as you can before you come back and get tested”
That’s like half a day. What am I supposed to do with the other half?
Beat your meat in the missus?
Gotta wait for the clear bill of health
You’re lying. 42 a day is the limit.
Weirdest gdq speedrun ever?
I’ll hold your beer, but I’m not providing an audience.
Screw this guy. I’ll cheer you and bring you water when you’re done
Yeah…you need to be hydrating if you’re fapping several times a day.
That’s just good science.
This was my first thought. I could see this being a medical procedure in place of a vasectomy. Get switch (or something less likely to get bumped) installed and set to off. Then when you want to have kids, another procedure to turn the switch on.
People keep looking for a quick fix for male sperm control, I didn’t think it is possible. At least not as a off and on solution that keeps coming up.
Maybe this plus a urethral spermicide enema?
I was in a band called Urethral Spermicide Enema. We were the least successful string quartet in the Florida panhandle.
Should’ve gone to Gainesville
Did you have to get a USE to join the band?
I think you’ll need to go deeper than just the urethra.
Yeah, but you still gotta go through it
This, but I want the voice command changed to “Go go gadget genitalia”
I’d just want the Super Mario power-up/power-down sound effects.
And when you insert it you hear the sound effect from when he goes down into a pipe.
And the underground theme plays while doing it. As you get closer, the sped up version plays.
I’m in a loud public place so I didn’t attempt clicking/listening, but I heard both those sounds/music in my head anyway. I spent too much time on that game as a kid.
Can you reset any of the voice assistants to respond instead of Siri or Alexa or Bixby or whatever to “go go gadget?”
So a toggleable vasectomy.
Trouble is you need a several days (maybe a week or more) and/or a few ejaculations to actually be sterile after a vasectomy… So this isn’t the kind of thing that you can flip on in the moment and you’re safe.
Better to keep it off until you and your wife are trying for a kid than keep it on and flip it off for saf(er) sex. Why keep your cum on while you’re just walking around?
Mostly for fashion reasons
I’d imagine most men would only need to actually use the switch twice in their lives anyways. So having to wait a couple weeks wouldn’t be too bad.
They told me three months. In case the wires reconnect
Great! Someone should write HomeAssistant integration!
“Hey, Google, I’m having sex!”
Google turns down the lights and turns on the balls.
The stereo starts playing Yakety Sax
wait till this comes with a monthly subscription
When Google wont give you back the API keys to the chastity electrodes
Remember to flip the switch back on when you need to pee
Not the same plumbing.
TIL. Thanks.
I’d just forget which one is on and which one is off. Also I have zero need for the on setting.
I don’t want a kill-switch. I want a turbo-button to slice metal sheets with a jet of cum.
You need a button for that?
If you are experiencing pressure issues just mitigate the issue by adding acids (via special infection cultures in the balls) to the cum, or some abrasive materials (jagged kidney/bladder stones perhaps?).
Dude imagine getting hit with a groin shot with that fucking thing in your taint
I think I’d be more concerned if my hands were that small
I see two casings for switches. Do you have to toggle each ball individually or something?
Also, how do you remember which way to flip the switch? Can it get turned around?
I know, right? Do you just flip one and run at 50%?
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You could even add a bag attachment and keep it for later!
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I’d say “imagine having to explain to your date why you’ve got cum in your ass”, but it sounds like you already did.
Hook it up to a clapper and live life dangerously.
That’s either a very small finger or a very large dick
For you
Wait won’t this turn off their brains? How will they breathe?
