Edit: LOL love the responses. You ain’t wrong…
Edit2: I posted this for giggles and have enjoyed it immensely. Thanks for the “parenting advice” (rolls eyes). My daughter is a shit show, but I wouldn’t trade her in for anything. She has three daughters, one of which is exactly like her and the two others are not. So…
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She loaded it, but poorly. Which is a vast improvement on my wifes not loading it at all.
At least you have multiple wifes
Idk I would rather have one wife who did dishes than 2 that didn’t know how to lol
Hmm, depends largely on how hot they are and if they’re into each other.
If they are into each other Im out of a fuckin job. Literally and figuratively.
Sorry Hank, but we’re replacing you with a pair of lesbians.
But I’ve been with this company ten years!
You would get to keep your job as their dishwasher.
I’d rather have one wife than two
I won’t even let my wife touch the dishwasher. Nobody does it right, but me.
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Isn’t it more work to undo it and then do it again than just do it in the first place?
Ah, your wife has discovered the system at our house- let the dishes pile up in the sink until someone can’t take it anymore.
A for effort
- Thank your daughter for helping you with chores.
- Bring her to the mess and let her see it for herself.
- Kindly ask her why she thinks it turned out that way.
- Ask her what she thinks she can do avoid this kind of thing next time. (This is your opportunity to explain to her how to do things.)
- Kindly ask her to do it again, correctly. (Consider doing it together)
- Tell her she’s awesome for helping out, and that you really appreciate it.
Never be angry. Be patient and supportive. Don’t let frustration escalate.
All this plus I think it’s important to say to first: be EXTREMELY careful if you feel the need to critique or criticize someone who is being helpful. Really think about if it’s worth it. If what they’re doing really isn’t helping anything then maybe it’s worth it!
BUT if you just think they could do it better or if they aren’t doing it how you would do it, then think again. You might end up simply discouraging a helpful attitude that would have figured things out on their own if you had just given them a bit of vague encouragement and time.
Right? Is this post wash, and still looking like this, or is this pre-wash?
I am neurodivergent, and really struggle with dishes. Touching other peoples leftover food absolutely disgusts me and it takes a lot of mental effort to do a load of dishes. No one in the house cleans their shit, they just dump it in the sink, and there is nasty stagnant water, left over whole-ass meals, chunks of food floating in gross, opaque liquids…
I almost threw up just from this description.
If I do a load of dishes, I have adopted the reality that some shit will have to be ran through twice. I’m not aiming for perfect, I’m just trying to get it done.
It’s definitely pre-wash. The pink tub would have collected water otherwise.
In any case, it’s overful. A simple “hey, thanks for doing that, but if we fill too much, it struggles. We can run it more often if we need to, but I really appreciate the effort!” Is probably sufficient to the cause,
overfull
You could definitely fit those things in there. There are blank spots.
The e bowls need to stand much more vertical so you can clean multiple at a time. If you stand them right - they don’t take much more room than plates.
It could also be sufficient to deflate her morale.
In my tight friend group, you can do that and it works. But I’ve learned through lots of communication failure that different people view criticism as meaning different things.
One person might take that as “oh hey some helpful feedback” and another might take that as “he thinks I’m worthless”.
Overall, we should strive to create people who can take the criticism for the help that it is. But that’s not where we’re at.
Hey just a semantic point: overcoming disgust to perform a gross task is emotional work, not mental work.
I wonder if there’s some word that’s the equivalent of courage, but for disgust instead of fear.
If what they’re doing really isn’t helping anything then maybe it’s worth it!
Maybe not even this. Because if she’s providing positive help elsewhere, that could disappear if she’s criticized on this thing.
Bring her in and tell her the things she did wrong, and how it means she doesn’t love you, and tell her to bring a chair with a cushion because it’s going to be a long talk.
That’s really nice thank you
You only have yourself to blame. You raised her, but clearly not better than this.
Not all of us are blessed with the smarts.
If I won’t be able to get my child to properly load a dishwasher by the time she’s 18, I’ll have failed as a parent.
She is the embodiment of your failures, and thus should be purged from your life so that you can become the ultimate sigma male.
OP admitting to not teaching their kid how to do dishes.
Not all kids take to their teachers. My parents are clean people. I’m a clean person. One of my sisters fought to never clean as she was taught. And she married someone just like her. So that house is bad sometimes.
You can learn things that your parents do without having them teach you.
Proactivity and common sense.
…who gets taught how to do dishes lol. You take a dish, and place it in the logical spot. It’s not advanced physics.
Children do.
But who taught her to load the dish washer?
Every time my dad has something to say about me I say that.
Who was responsible for raising me again? YOU WERE, you judgemental turd.
Nice! And when you grow up you can use the same excuse when beating up your wife. “Look at what YOU made me do!” Remember kids, it’s aways somebody else’s fault 👍
Funfact: domestic abuse is strongly tied to a previous history of abuse, or simply put, the perpetrators learned to do it while they were the victims, often from their parents.
And in a society where mental health access is practically nonexistent, there aren’t many ways for someone to break the cycle. I guess pretending it’s just a personal failure instead of a societal one is nice because it eliminates any burden on oneself.
From you dad! I learned it from you!
My daughter is not an adult, she’s a teenager. But it’s her job to put away the dishes. And no matter what I do, she can’t understand that, in the silverware drawer, THE BIG SPOONS GO IN THE BIG SPOON SLOT AND THE LITTLE SPOONS GO IN THE LITTLE SPOON SLOT!
And she thinks this is acceptable.
I understand the compulsion to disown.
My husband is 30 and can’t understand this. And not every pot is meant to be stored in one, large, precariously balanced stack. There’s a whole cabinet there. You can spread them out…
Meanwhile in our house, every pot needs to be precariously balanced in a stack in order to fit in the cupboard.
How precarious? This will blow your mind!
We have 3 pots/pans, A big one, a medium one, and a little one.
Now, and bear with me because I know this is an unorthodox way to stack things, but I think the little pan should go inside the medium pan, and those two should go inside the big pan. It’s crazy, but it just might work.
My partner has other ideas when he stacks them though.
“You aren’t really upset about the spoons.”
Nah, Peggy and me are tight.
She’s trying, and she’s already got the concept of “concave side down” so you need to acknowledge that. Moving on, “water sprays from the center” and “similar shapes share space” are good concepts to add. She can’t exactly do “Don’t crowd” because there are just too many here. But she’s fully grasped “you can always rerun anything that doesn’t come clean the first time.”
concave side down
Yeah, she doesn’t seem to be applying that, I see sideways containers.
But you don’t see any that will pool water. Sideways is perfectly fine if they face generally toward the center, or in any direction the machine sprays, if it has side sprayers. What you want to avoid is catching the wash water so it pollutes the rinse water.
Her brain is capable of detecting error and correcting it without any intervention at all.
I’m in the gratitude-only camp here.
She’s already got the senses and reasoning capability to detect and correct the problem. Fastest way to improve her effort is to provide the thing she cannot provide herself: evidence that her efforts are appreciated.
Agreed, although if OP is specific about it, telling her they noticed she remembered to put the glasses on the top rack, etc. then they can do a little “I’ve found this makes it easier…” to show how a row of same-sized bowls on their sides can fit on the bottom rack. Because then you can Wolverine them all out at once and stack them on the shelf in one movement! Dishwasher Tetris can be a fun challenge.
I tried dishwasher tetris for a while but I got too good at it, and ended up losing all my flatware
Take out half the stuff and do two loads.
Then OP would come along, see a pile of dishes still in the sink, and post it on Lemmy. There’s probably only 3-4 items that are really going to be left with food residue here. She can put the others away and leave those in the machine for another go.
Many dishwashers will clean all of that fine, in my experience. The annoying part is the cups or bowls that may fill with water, just make sure they’re upside down.
As far as scraping or rinsing things…. Nah. Haven’t done it since I worked in food service and saw what dishwashers could do. Some stuff needs scraped, sure, but most will come off under the detergent and hot water.
These are the kinds of people who go on the Internet and claim that dishwashers don’t work very well.
When I was 23 I moved into a sharehouse that had a dishwasher, I lived there over a year before I saw it, it had a false cabinet so it blended in. I’d always just washed my dishes in the sink and I keep all my dishes, cutlery and pans separate in a tub in the pantry because I have allergies. I’d never used a dishwasher before.
I googled how to use a dishwasher because I didn’t want to be the 20 year old that can’t do basic chores. I read the user manual and looked for the filters and catchment drains. They were filthy so I cleaned them, then followed the stacking guide in the user manual and ran it with a full load of my housemates dishes.
I was very impressed with how clean they came out.
I mentioned it to a housemate who found it very amusing I’d only just discovered the dishwasher, he warned me that it was old and broken and not a very good dishwasher so the few housemates that use it were actually talking about splitting the cost of a replacement if I wanted to get in on it.
Why? When the dishwasher was working perfectly.
All 7 of my housemates flooded into the kitchen to assess the cleanliness of the dishes because no one believed me that the dishwasher worked.
Turns out in the 7 years the house had been used for student housing since the landlords son took over as head tenant, not a single one of the rotating cast of 8 housemates had ever cleaned the secondary catchment filter, and only rarely did someone remember to clean the main filter.
Turns out the dishwasher works great when you remove the months worth of old rotten corn building up in the filter, and drain off the 7 years of muck that’s blocking the greywater outlet flow.
My housemates will still say I stack the dishwasher like a sociopath, but I learned from the user manual so I don’t care, the dishes are clean.
Does the machine result in clean dishes? If yes, all good. If not, she dumb, u dumb. You built her
We can rebuild her. We have the technology.
“You’re broken. We are still your friends. Do you still believe that? I’m still here. I will put you back together.”
If containers are not facing down, may not result in clean dishes.
She’s from group B. Group A loads correctly. Group B does this stuff on purpose so we in group A will just stop letting them screw this up and they no longer have to load it.
Not necessarily. Some of us are ADHD and we do things like put regular dish detergent in the dishwasher instead of the proper one and make a huge mess, or we load and wash normally but forget we ever did that so the clean dishes just sit in there long enough until they probably need to be rewashed.
There’s also group C which I was part of, you just say that you just pooped or scratch your butt whenever they ask you to load/unload and they’ll immediately offer to do that for you instead.
You would get a “wash your hands” from me.
No problem the chemicals and heat will fix that
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Believe it or not, jail.
You clearly failed as a parent.
Jon Richardson would probably say yes
I side with Jon 100%, and I do 100% of the dish washing.
But unlike Jon, I’m not married to an absolute head case. He knew what he was getting into.
I’ve never watched his show so only knew of Lucy Beaumont through taskmaster and headcase is what came to mind with how insane some of the things she said was.
We’ve been watching a bunch of British panel shows for years, so we knew she definitely was a character. But taskmaster definitely proved how much of a headcase she really is. She really surprised me that she made it to adulthood.
That guy’s delightful.
I’ve woken my wife up giggling at this clip more than twice.
It isn’t a problem if it’s a light load.
A light load.
I’m behind him 100% on this skit.
A light load
Why does my wife hate me with such a passion?
A light load.
Or just educate her.
