You must log in or register to comment.
It’s definitely more of a combination of disgust and secondhand embarrassment. When I was 18, my mid-30s manager was clearly into me and I definitely thought he was creepy and old and everyone made fun of him behind his back. Now that I’m on the other side, it doesn’t look any less pathetic. 18 year olds look like children because I’m old enough to be their parent, and the only thing I’ve ever felt for one is vaguely maternal affection. The idea of dating them is super gross.
I’m 46 and married, but if I was single, I absolutely wouldn’t want someone almost 30 years younger than me. We’d have so little in common! I suppose if you just look at women as objects to stick your dick into…
I’m dating someone 8 years younger than me and the only way I think it works is that she likes me enough to learn all the references I make she doesn’t understand.
deleted by creator
Normal dudes think those guys are creeps too. I’m in my 40s, and have several guy friends my age who date, and it’s always with women their age.
The post doesn’t mention dating, just “wanting” them which I took to mean sex.
How would you know who these guys want to have sex with if not by who they date?
People talk about that stuff and you might hear who someone fucked and so on. Many possibilities
Alright. Maybe it’s normal. All I can say is that in my circles none of that is. Sometimes one of us might say how hot this or that woman is, but she could be any age really. If you know dudes over 35 that are constantly chasing 20 year olds, or talking about them, then I think those dudes are weird. Just my experience/opinions though.
Not to mention, as a 30+ year old, looking at 18 year olds feels…gross. They look like children.
The flip side of that is so wild. Remember being like 12 and an 18 year old seemed so grown up? Now I see an 18 year old and…yeah that’s a child, bro
After 40, the “child age” jumped to like 25 for me. As in those under 25 look like children.
25 is when your brain finishes maturing, so it’s when adulthood actually starts. The crazy thing is that we let people join the military, rack up credit card debt, etc. well before that age.
Can you imagine if we raised the drinking age to 25?
Yeah I’ve got some divorced dad friends who like the college age women and they are just boring AF to talk to. I don’t get it.
Pretty? sure, but boring AF. Give me a little baggage and some life stories and I’m in.
These guys don’t want somebody to talk to. They want to relive feeling that age again, but they also want somebody who doesn’t have much life experience. Odds are, women their own age won’t put up with their bullshit, and they want somebody who won’t push back on them
There’s enough illegal shit for me to be disgusted with, I don’t have time to be bothered by any relationship between two consenting adults regardless of how little sense that relationship might make to me.
I’m an older dude, I can’t hardly stand being near a fucking teenager, much less want to have sex with one, they’re annoying as hell. What the fuck is wrong with some people.
I mean you could maybe try being a compassionate adult around them. Attidudes like this are what contribute to poor inter-generational relationships. It’s why boomers blame everything on millenials and why millenials just respond with “ok boomer”. Teenagers are people, their brains are developing, some are figuring out their shit, some never will bother to. And they will become older folks who are people just the same. So it behoves us to try being a positive influence around them rather than trying to fuck them.
I mean, as a 45 year old man… I can be compassionate, but let’s be real teenagers are annoying as shit.
This isn’t some generational thing, we where just as annoying as that age.
It comes with being immature and unsure of who you are.
You’ll grow out of it too.
Youth is wasted on the young.
Yeah I wasn’t disagreeing. Teenagers are indeed annoying as shit. They’re also bright, depressed, confused, fired up, determined, lost, immature, too mature, and on and on. None of this negates the importance us adults having the maturity to not dwell on our bitterness or frustration over youth and focus on being a positive influence when we have the opportunity.
A friend of mine with daughters told me that he couldn’t see the appeal in teen girls, because “I have two; they don’t even know how to wipe properly.”
That might be a family problem more than a teen girl problem. 😒
No… No. Teen girls are, in general, pretty gross. Anyone cleaning bathrooms knows. The media likes to portray us as these clean little angels but we’re pretty disgusting a lot of the time lol
Reminded of:
Note, the last woman (Eden):
reportedly shouldn’t be on the graph. Ol’ Leo’s single apparently.
Classic. Seen this chart a few years ago, funny how he’s still sticking to it. Tbh for me it goes from “cool/funny” when he’s in his 30s to a bit “weird” now that he’s around 50, but whatever works for him and his partners.
Ironic. I’m in to 30-something women and even 40-something women, but the catch is they have to not be mentally ill
That goes for any relationship. Men and women. It is harder the older as so many more are paired, and the single ones have a higher likelihood of having… reasons.
Or just baggage, which isn’t particularly healthy for your mental state. When looking at my circle of friends, at the latest when your ~35 you will have lived through cheating or other types of betrayal. People often are just assholes to each other and hurt people hurt people.
I see this as an additional reason though, to not date someone who is still very young.
Yeah, if I ever conquer this damn divorce and my general anxiety, I’m just gonna meet people and hopefully find someone with few enough red flags that I can feel comfortable around them
Relevant username
Moms friends😩
Friends’ mums…
🎵 Stacey’s mom has got it goin’ on 🎶
OPE
I keep getting older, but they all stay the same age.
Yeah, I don’t get it. I’m 38m and don’t find college-age girls attractive anymore. Even in terms of physical attraction, I’m more attracted to women my age. 18 just looks like a kid to me.
I’m 38 and anyone under 30 looks like a child to me by now. 28, sure, they’re probably old enough despite the lack of life experience and looking a little young, but 18-year-olds still have baby fat! Gross.
40 here. Girl friends constantly need to assure me young women we see are “old enough” bc I think anyone under 30 looks like they’re 13.
I have always found this argument to be hilarious in a deeply sexist way.
Why? Because it takes two to tango.
If young women really did find older men repulsive and creepy, why do so many of them date older men? Why do a fair number of them marry older men, especially in this era of unprecedented economic opportunities for women?
The fact is, such attitudes against a very historically normal pairing is shaming two people who are functional adults for their very adult choices and decisions.
Or do you somehow disagree that an 18-yo woman isn’t a “functional adult”? Because I see that attitude of infantilizing and bubble-wrapping women against the consequences of their own choices and decisions as deeply sexist, and a prime example of misogyny.
Meanwhile, men of that exact same age can be forcibly conscripted to fight and die in some foreign oil-war that they never had an opportunity to vote against. How are we adult enough at that age to die without any choice in the matter, but women aren’t adult enough to choose whom to be with?
Gotta love that gender bigotry.
People are probably not functional adults until 23-25. But it’s harder to mold a 25yo to die in a war for you than a 18yo.
I do agree with your general point - it takes two to tango. And a lot of the older women complaining have themselves dated across the chasm when they were younger.
It always felt odd to me and still does though - I feel that the larger the gap the more it reveals deeper issues for both sides.
What I also find deeply hypocritical is how many of these women treat a gender chasm in the first place:
- Young woman with older man? That pervert! He’s a pedophile!!
- Older woman with a young guy? You go, girl! Ride him like a cowgirl!
And yes, that age gap can be identical in both examples.
And yet plenty of women also shame older women that are preying on much younger men too. That’s not making a point it’s trying to make an excuse.
plenty of women also shame older women that are preying on much younger men too
I have never seen that happen in my entire life.
Not. Once.
Not saying it doesn’t happen, but it must only happen behind closed doors - without any public censure whatsoever - in ways that doesn’t happen for older men with younger women.
Older men, in comparison, are very publicly shamed.
Well if you’ve never seen it then it’s never happened obviously
Bro have you seen how much Larsa Pippen has been (rightfully imo) dragged in the Bravo community for dating Marcus Jordan?!
That shit ain’t cute in either direction!
Larsa Pippen
Who?
Bravo community
What’s that? Some sort of spanking-new social media platform? Certainly less than 6 days old, otherwise I would have heard of it.
Marcus Jordan
Who?
Edit: had to google all of these. I have no clue who any of the “Reality TV” stars are, not into basketball, and as for “Bravo”, I never even thought about TV channels as I have not watched actual broadcast TV since 2003.
Lmao I had to rep my Housewives because I had to leave the Bravo subreddits back on reddit and we don’t have a community here. I never pass up a chance to toss it out there in case there are other lost Housewives fans floating around Lemmy. 😅
Anyhow, yes, Larsa Pippen was married to Scottie Pippen for years, including when he played on the Chicago Bulls with Michael Jordan (late 80s/early 90s). Marcus Jordan (Michael’s son) was already born by then. Scottie and Michael were a duo in the 90s, paired together in NBA games and whatnot, pretty much the faces of the Bulls franchise.
Larsa Pippen is 49. Since divorcing Scottie, she’s gotten together with Marcus Jordan (33). She’s been absolutely dragged by Bravo fans due to the age difference, and because there is a nonzero chance she knew Marcus when he was in pull-ups (she denies this).
The point I was making was, even if it’s an older woman going after a younger man, gross behavior is gross behavior. It’s not cute in either direction. We call out ladies too!
It makes me wonder why people praise Harold and Maude and vilify Manhattan, though I suppose the director of Harold and Maude didn’t marry someone Harold’s age. But most people agree that Harold walked away a better person, despite having Maude woo him and rip herself away immediately.
why do so many of them date older men?
Do they?
Or do you somehow disagree that an 18-yo woman isn’t a “functional adult”?
I do, because your brain doesn’t finish maturing until you’re 25.
Meanwhile, men of that exact same age can be forcibly conscripted to fight and die in some foreign oil-war that they never had an opportunity to vote against.
That’s wrong, too. The age of conscription should be 25, for the reason I gave above.
deleted by creator
You just argued for men not being drafted at 18 - they are mere kids. Women, on the other hand!
I didn’t argue for anyone being drafted. I was referencing how the person I was responding to mentioned it.
Just say you’re attracted to teenagers and stop wasting everyone’s time. The answers to your questions have been discussed countless times.
Creep.
Attractive, Intelligent, Sane
At 18 you can pick 3 but always focus on one. You’re looking for “true love”, but your crotch isn’t.
At 25 you can pick 2, but you still don’t know which one is most important. You’re looking for “Mr/Miss/Ms Right”, but are starting to feel like you’re Mr/Miss/Ms Leftover" because a lot of people pair up before you.
At 30+ you can pick one, but you’re mostly looking for someone who matches you “child-free” status. You’ve realised a relationship is something you make, not something you find. This is the age to be wary of “gold diggers” looking for a bankroll.
When you’re 35+ it turns from a structured partner hunt into “fuck it, we ride”. At this point, you just want to enjoy life, because there isn’t much free time!
Jesus Christ, this. And the men rarely even realize/acknowledge how predatory they’re being.
I’d be flattered if an 18yo girl found me attractive, but holy hell I wouldn’t have wanted to date somebody with the social-intellectual maturity of most 18 yo’s even when I was a lot closer to that age myself.
The ones that do want that, I’d say they’re either stuck in the mentality of that age being their own glory-days or wanting somebody they can easily dominate/control, quite likely both.
If you think women are being preyed on at that age, then the age of consent needs to be raised or Romeo and Juliet laws refined
One has nothing to do with the other. There’s nothing wrong with those of similar age being in a relationship. Romeo and Juliet laws require the couple to be within three years of each other. That has nothing to do with 40 year old men creeping on teenage girls. This thread is insane and really shows the demographics of Lemmy.
1/3 women are sexually harassed in their lifetime. Women have posted their stories about being sexually harassed more frequently as a young teenager than an adult. I personally have been groped and propositioned for prostitution while I was walking down the street in broad daylight. Not to mention the numerous cat calls. Everything stopped the moment I no longer looked like a child. This is what the post is about. Not consensual relationships.
The first time I realized I was being leered at was a man probably in his 40s while at the airport going on vacation with my family. I was 10 or 11 at the time.
I remember getting in trouble for leaning on a store counter a couple times, my mom eventually explained it was because the salesmen were looking down my shirt. I was in middle school.
Memories of us getting cat called walking to and from school with my friends are strongest when we were all around 14. I remember being groped by a 20something year old while giving them a forced hug as they cornered me at a party around 15 before ducking and running away to the crowd.
I had my first sexual assault at 18.
Now on the other side… I had a stalker at 23, was likely roofied a few years ago at 28, and one of my friends in her 40s was recently cornered in her hotel room by a friend assuming favors. Which we then found out was a well known habit of his.
Not to say any of this to argue your point, young girls are absolutely going to be cat called or given unwanted attention more than a adult or middle aged+ woman. More so just when I started listing a few I realized that unfortunately, we will always have to have our guard up. I’m in my early 30s now and get leered at/inappropriate comments from the 50-60 year old men in my industry. It is never not uncomfortable when you’re looked at like a piece of meat.
I got catcalled regularly from the ages of about 12 to 19, most frequently around the ages of 14 to 16. Then it basically stopped entirely.
I live in a bigger city with some heavy foot traffic areas. Those are normally where I get comments still. I feel part of it has to do with the fact that some of them actually think they aren’t creepy, and others know you won’t fight back on it and enjoy your discomfort.
Oh my God, I still get this at mid 50s and don’t think I even fit the stereotype of hot older lady - I thought it never ended. Fully expect to be 90 and have someone yell “lookin’ spry, Grandma!” as they drive by. It’s ridiculous and I don’t think it’s serious just thoughtless nonsense.
That has nothing to do with 40 year old men creeping on teenage girls.
It’s almost like there’s a false equivalence for the women in the meme being upset that men think young women are attractive versus them being creeped on by creepers while pretending like women don’t do the same damn thing lol.
Unwanted advances is something completely different than “guys talking about how 35 year old women are upset that men their age want 18 year olds”. While ALSO falsely attributing it to jealousy.
The women are pretending like 18 year olds aren’t attractive. They are, scientifically, and culturally. You can be old and appreciate pretty people. Vilifying that is getting into fucked up Roman Catholic levels of guilt & self-hate lol.
Just gonna drop this…
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0005789405800395
(It’s also on https://sci-hub.se if anyone needs it entirely)
Sexual arousal and arousability to pedophilic stimuli in a community sample of normal men
pedophilic
18 year olds
Huh?
