I think it’s a good idea for partners to have their own dedicated space that they can decorate for themselves and keep their hobbies in. It helps keep the rest of the house tidy and allows for a little bit of a personal safe haven. Obviously, the traditional conception of a ‘man cave’ isn’t great, but I think that there is a way it can be approached non-toxically
People REALLY underestimate the value of lighting. My wife likes it dim on the main floor. I am constantly reminding her that we evolved in caves for 100k years and finally have fucking light and she’s squandering the advantage.
Modern bright lighting is great for daytime but one of the worst things we can do to ourselves in the evening or night. We absolutely did not evolve to be exposed to bright (particularly blue/white) light after the sun starts setting.
The best thing I did for my circadian rhythm was eliminate light in the bedroom and set up my lights to slowly shift to soft amber and dim in the evening. The trick is having it transition slowly so your eyes adjust and you don’t notice it.
The toxic aspect isn’t from wanting space apart from your spouse, it’s in sending signals (even ironically or in jest) that the family you are a part of is something you hate, that your family is cramping your individuality, and that you want to escape from them.
Everyone needs their own time and space. Just because you married another human doesn’t make you any less of an individual, and having healthy opportunity for time apart is essential.
Obviously, the traditional conception of a ‘man cave’ isn’t great
It’s not the “traditional concept”, it’s the juiced up consumerist fantasy. The traditional man-cave is literally just the garage or the basement, where you keep your power tools.
The home office/battle station where you can pipe the output from one bash command into another bash command, or set up your media server or just play video games.
The kitchen where you can knead and bake sourdough, roll your own pasta, braise a hearty stew, or roast a leg of lamb.
The backyard where you can smoke a brisket, bake a pizza, host a wine tasting.
The garden or lawn where you can cultivate plants, grow something to eat, design a beautiful landscape, or restore a native sanctuary for migratory insects like the monarch butterfly or birds like a hummingbird or songbirds.
The gym where you can get ripped, build up your personal stats, and let off some steam through physical activity.
The closet or bedroom where you can plan out your fashion choices and wardrobe, iron your clothes, shine your shoes, and otherwise make stylish choices.
Some sort of room or garage where you can jam out with musical instruments.
This guy fucking gets it. Let’s go with hobbies. Show your kids passion and a love of learning, the ability to have fun, and wrap it all in in emotional support and love and everything will be fine. I have an office with a bunch of nerd projects and we’re building out the basement workshop. My 3 year old already “helps” me build stuff and I hope that only increases. Mom has a second husband of her job in athletics, so kiddo is learning about normalizing hard work and athletic endeavors, visits Mommy’s office and weight room, etc.
The meme is funny. A lot of this conversation is definitely not, glad there’s some reasonable takes down here.
Also, 1 of the guys’ wives thought he was cheating on her. She followed him to a house and thought to catch him in the act, when he went into the basement. Instead, she burst in on him and his friends playtesting D&D in their basement mancave.
When I first heard the word “man cave” it seemed to mean rec room/rumpus room as marketed by Spike TV. A finished basement, bonus room above the garage etc. often furnished with such things as a pool table, dart board, leather couch, big screen TV for watching The Game, wet bar, etc. From there it transitioned to mean any space that is considered “his” in the home, which might only be the parts of the garage that aren’t full of rubbermaid bins full of shit they own but never use.
Side note, remember when houses had a room called the “den”?
Right. It’s just a place to stick your cheap plastic collectibles, as romanticized by the man-equivalent of the home shopping channel. You see it on home improvement shows all the time, as well, typically themed to some hobby or consumer franchise. And back in the '00s, sitcoms got in on the racket, with every Family Dad having an episode or three that involved renovating a basement or spare bedroom.
Side note, remember when houses had a room called the “den”?
I’ve also heard it called the TV Room, the playroom, and the family room. Most houses still have it, typically adjoining the kitchen/dining room. My house has a second-story flat that’s kitchen, dining room, and den laid out in a single open rectangle. We have the TV on the back wall and you can see it from the other side of the house. But all the entertainment - the record player, the video games, the little rolling dry bar I have in the corner - is on the “den” side of the house.
I think it’s a good idea for partners to have their own dedicated space that they can decorate for themselves and keep their hobbies in. It helps keep the rest of the house tidy and allows for a little bit of a personal safe haven. Obviously, the traditional conception of a ‘man cave’ isn’t great, but I think that there is a way it can be approached non-toxically
Fuck that, I’m doing my soldering in the kitchen because that’s where the best light is
“IF I’M BREATHING LEAD WE ALL ARE!”
Kitchens often have powerful extract fans so really it’s the safest choice
Yeah but a lot of them just vent back out of the front. It really depends on how they were installed. So maybe double -check if you haven’t already
Thankfully none of the ones I’ve seen do that!
Bro needs some 4000K 90 CRI 20W/m strips
And where the snacks are too!
Lighting can be purchased.
But the stove hood also has an exhaust fan built in, and a range for a nice hot toxic solder pot to keep boiling
It’s almost like the kitchen was built for electronics
That can also be purchased!
Explain HOW!
Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
This guy gets it
People REALLY underestimate the value of lighting. My wife likes it dim on the main floor. I am constantly reminding her that we evolved in caves for 100k years and finally have fucking light and she’s squandering the advantage.
Modern bright lighting is great for daytime but one of the worst things we can do to ourselves in the evening or night. We absolutely did not evolve to be exposed to bright (particularly blue/white) light after the sun starts setting.
The best thing I did for my circadian rhythm was eliminate light in the bedroom and set up my lights to slowly shift to soft amber and dim in the evening. The trick is having it transition slowly so your eyes adjust and you don’t notice it.
2nded. The lighting should be comparable to daylight, it helps your eyes focus better.
You can even get lux meter apps for your phone.
Please don’t melt heavy metals in food prep areas.
Also you get a free fume extractor.
Get an architect’s lamp
I’d hope that nobody would disagree with this.
The toxic aspect isn’t from wanting space apart from your spouse, it’s in sending signals (even ironically or in jest) that the family you are a part of is something you hate, that your family is cramping your individuality, and that you want to escape from them.
Everyone needs their own time and space. Just because you married another human doesn’t make you any less of an individual, and having healthy opportunity for time apart is essential.
It’s not the “traditional concept”, it’s the juiced up consumerist fantasy. The traditional man-cave is literally just the garage or the basement, where you keep your power tools.
What if I’m not qualified to glue two pieces of cardboard together? Where is my hideout?
In that case, you have a few options:
This guy fucking gets it. Let’s go with hobbies. Show your kids passion and a love of learning, the ability to have fun, and wrap it all in in emotional support and love and everything will be fine. I have an office with a bunch of nerd projects and we’re building out the basement workshop. My 3 year old already “helps” me build stuff and I hope that only increases. Mom has a second husband of her job in athletics, so kiddo is learning about normalizing hard work and athletic endeavors, visits Mommy’s office and weight room, etc.
The meme is funny. A lot of this conversation is definitely not, glad there’s some reasonable takes down here.
Dungeons and dragons was developed in a man cave.
Also, 1 of the guys’ wives thought he was cheating on her. She followed him to a house and thought to catch him in the act, when he went into the basement. Instead, she burst in on him and his friends playtesting D&D in their basement mancave.
Also basement.
Online
Fuck. You might be on to something
When I first heard the word “man cave” it seemed to mean rec room/rumpus room as marketed by Spike TV. A finished basement, bonus room above the garage etc. often furnished with such things as a pool table, dart board, leather couch, big screen TV for watching The Game, wet bar, etc. From there it transitioned to mean any space that is considered “his” in the home, which might only be the parts of the garage that aren’t full of rubbermaid bins full of shit they own but never use.
Side note, remember when houses had a room called the “den”?
The “Den” has been rebranded as the 'Office". Same room, just under different management.
Right. It’s just a place to stick your cheap plastic collectibles, as romanticized by the man-equivalent of the home shopping channel. You see it on home improvement shows all the time, as well, typically themed to some hobby or consumer franchise. And back in the '00s, sitcoms got in on the racket, with every Family Dad having an episode or three that involved renovating a basement or spare bedroom.
I’ve also heard it called the TV Room, the playroom, and the family room. Most houses still have it, typically adjoining the kitchen/dining room. My house has a second-story flat that’s kitchen, dining room, and den laid out in a single open rectangle. We have the TV on the back wall and you can see it from the other side of the house. But all the entertainment - the record player, the video games, the little rolling dry bar I have in the corner - is on the “den” side of the house.
Wine and nice sayings isn’t a hobby. A sports team you don’t participate in at all isn’t a hobby. Drinking isn’t a hobby.