It really is as far as I’m concerned. I told her dring the last visit that she voted to hurt other people because she thought it would be good for her, and that’s how I still see it. trump promised to do harm, even his supporters knew that.
I’m definitely not pushing my wife in any direction, just listening and supporting. I have a hard time sympathizing with her attachment to family as mine were abusive assholes and I cut ties with them years ago. I’ll never suggest she do the same, but it wouldn’t bother me at all if she does. I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else.
I’m being a little generous with that. I agree that they knew he was a piece of shit, but I think a lot of them thought he’d just hurt the people they look down on and not them.
you may idealize an honest pacifist who would value indirect communication higher than direct if direct would also come with conflict
This is the approach I’m going with, though I’d classify it more as isolation than indirect communication. Earlier this year I told the mother in law that her proud maga children are no longer welcome in my home and that turned into a bad night for everyone. After that night I decided I’d just keep myself away from her as much as possible.
She feels much the same as I do, and I know she struggles with it a lot. For me, the moment I found out, they all got moved into the category of trump supporters, who I have no time for. But for her, it’s obviously a much bigger deal. I don’t press her on how she should handle it, just support the way she chooses to.
Haha, my (likely autistic) wife and (autistic) daughters often tell me I am like it’s just a given!
Well, didn’t want to advertise the fact, but we got ourselves and our daughters out about 10 years ago, and a big driver of that was everything that’s happening now. I’ve never been a US citizen, but I lived there for a decade and have a lot of fondness for the place. My wife has always loved her country and considers herself a patriot, but she has no intention of ever setting foot on US soil again.
That’s the plan! 😜
Pretty much hit the nail on the head there boss. No matter how hard I try I can’t accept the ignorance excuse after what all of us have seen. Earlier this year I said to my mother in law “surely you knew at the time that you were doing the wrong thing?” She denied it. The best approach for me is to be around the MIL as little as possible. My wife knows that. It makes her sad, but she understands.
That’s how I intend to approach it, during the times when I’m unable to just not be around her.
I immediately like and respect you. But there is some nuance. It’s not so much “letting her into my home” as it is “not preventing my wife from seeing her mother.” I’ve been preparing my wife for me to not be hanging out with them like I used to, I’ll be somewhere else or hiding out in my office.
I guess I should have been a bit clearer, but I was genuinely academically curious to know whether my increasing anger is legitimate. The general consensus seems to be it depends on their level of remorse (if any) over their choice. And that makes sense. From what I saw during this year’s visit, the MIL would just like to ignore all of it, but I don’t think that’s ok either. Fucking trump!
I’m like you, my first obligation is always to my wife, that’s the promise I made. But it’s never tested my principles before. I’ve already decided I’m just going to be scarce during those times. There’s been a lot of good advice here, but I was actually more interested in what ethics scholars would say regarding me feeling angrier as time goes on. The targets of my anger haven’t done anything more to deserve additional anger, it’s the consequences of what they did that continue to make me angry…
She does love Reagan… 😆
This is where I’m at. I have a hard time scrounging up any kindness or forgiveness. I also have a hard time accepting the ignorance excuse when we’ve all seen the last 10 years of trump.
Yeah she’s one of those “for the economy” types. But I don’t believe it from anyone who voted trump. We all saw the entirety of his first term, and J6. On top of that, in my opinion anyone who says they voted for him for the economy is tacitly admitting they knew he was going to hurt people, but chose to ignore that because they thought it would benefit them personally.
I think I’d prefer to leave that to my wife, who isn’t shy about doing that. I got involved one time earlier this year (alcohol was involved) and I ended up being the asshole in the wife’s eyes. It was grossly unfair in my opinion, but that one time was enough for me to stay out of it permanently. Next visit I think I’m just going to not be around. I have a home office to hide in.
I’m too high right now, but you’d just figure out the volume of solids in the earth and the size of sphere that would make, then figure out the volume of water, and figure out how deep that volume would cover a sphere of that diameter. I’m sure an ai could give you a pretty convincing answer. The calculation is easy, it’s the accuracy of your inputs you have to worry about.
I’ve never seen the show. But I’m assuming that Johnathan is the child of Lois and superman? And he’s maybe somewhere around his teen years? And may or may not already have, or develop soon, some set of superpowers? If I had a moody hormonal teenager who could potentially destroy the world in a teenage hissy fit I’d want to keep a very close eye on him too.
You have a wife and a girlfriend AND you can afford to go to a bar every night? Must be nice to be in the 1%! 😉
I am need loan!