The first thing I noticed when I started Bupropion was changes in behavior and motivation. First keeping up with self maintenance (showering daily, flossing, etc) became easy. Then I started going for walks and later started working out. I noticed an increase in my capacity for emotion, I wasn’t sociopathic when I was depressed, but I just kind of didn’t have it in me to deal with other people’s emotions, I had little empathy. That changed pretty quickly. I gradually found myself self medicating less, some bad habits started to fade. I had the ability to complete tasks I wanted to complete. I surprised myself when I lost weight, again when I quit smoking, then completed a degree, then a masters, and I was just able to keep rolling like a normal person. I kind of caught up with people my age after a decade of not accomplishing anything except surviving.
I feel better, but I don’t think there was ever a moment when I was like “oh shit I’m pretty happy now”, it was more that my life just started to improve as my capacity increased. I’m not smiling all the time or anything but now I look at what I’ve accomplished, my degrees, my career, my little family. I’ve got a pretty good life. All of that has happened in the 10 years since I started bupropion. I can’t put a finger on when I felt better, but I do.
Good luck stranger.
There are plenty of very happy old people. I’ve watched my parents flourish as they age. My great uncle always talked about making the last year’s of your life the best years of your life. I don’t know if they were for him, but he was still dancing until the cancer took him last year at 94. Yeah we all fall apart and die, but you’re best days can easily be in your 70s or later.