• TheControlled@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    That’s how I felt before I tried to kill myself. Relief. I hope OP was actually having a breakthrough instead.

  • Jake Farm@sopuli.xyz
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    2 years ago

    The whole world is turning into incels. Its not that there is no one to fuck but that everyone has crippling social anxiety.

    • A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Marxists would say that this is a symptom of alienation, that industrial society under capitalism has isolated individuals from their communities, broken up the extended family, and divorced the worker from the fruits of their labor.

      • protist@mander.xyz
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        2 years ago

        I think it has more to do with concrete changes to how people socialize over the past 15 years, namely smartphones and the internet. People seek community through the internet but are functionally isolating themselves, and as irl relationships fade or never happen, they stay online more, which becomes a positive feedback loop. They develop social anxieties only because they have no experience with or are not used to socializing irl

        • Jake Farm@sopuli.xyz
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          2 years ago

          The internet was able to trick people into thinking they were socializing when they were actually alone in their room all day.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          But it doesn’t have to be that way. I was a shut in once and started going out. I’m still not good at it, but I’m getting better. I can’t go back to being a shut in. I need my in person socialization on a regular basis.

          • Jake Farm@sopuli.xyz
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            2 years ago

            You saw that you were in plato’s cave. But the majority of people either just haven’t figured out that online socializing is an illusion or they aren’t self aware enough to ever figure it out.

            • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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              2 years ago

              It isn’t necessarily an illusion. I have very real friendships thanks to the internet, but it’s insufficient on its own and lacks key components that your brain needs. It’s like junk food, you may feel like you’re getting everything, and it may be giving you some of what you need, maybe even in over abundance. But it needs to be part instead of most of all.

              And yeah I talk about this openly for a reason. For those feeling alienated and isolated, there is hope and it starts by going to things and standing awkwardly in the corner until you either work up the courage to talk to someone or someone talks to you. And you just keep doing it.

        • bouh@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          My take : society needs to adapt to the status of women. We went from a society where women could only get a life through marriage to a society where they have to work and don’t need to be married. This changes how men and women interact together, and we need to invent new ways around romance and dating.

      • gandalf_der_12te@feddit.de
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        2 years ago

        Yeah, I believe that capitalism, in fact, encourages the isolation of the individial. After all, isolated individuals don’t make solidarity (i.e. unions).

      • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin@lemm.ee
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        2 years ago

        And they’d be missing the mark.

        Community isolation came well after the dawn of capitalism via car-centric infrastructure, which isn’t necessarily a capitalism issue as much as a problem with invention exceeding what’s actually needed of it.

        The extended family was destroyed by the church long before there even was a capitalism, the European clan structure family was determined to be “ungodly” because it tended to lead to inbreeding and tyranny of cousins scenarios.

  • Damaskox@kbin.social
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    2 years ago

    Reminds me of my favorite Kurzgesagt video: Optimistic Nihilism

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    It is said that comparing yourself to others is not a good idea. Instead, compare yourself to your old self.

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    Sometimes you can find peace in the strangest ways and places!

  • TheSlad@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    Embracing the solitude after 7 years of a toxic relationship has been a blissful realization i tell ya hwhat.

    I feel like i am finally my true self instead of having to conform to someone else’s notion of what a “boyfriend” should be. I turned 30 this year and i dont think ive peaked yet. The best is yet to come and my confidence is sky high.

    Sorry ladies, I’m taken. By the handsome man above my bathroom sink.

  • JamesStallion@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    Parted from kin, banished to a lonely place, I wonder why my heart feels so little anguish and pain.

    Consulting Zhuang Zi (daoist writer), I find where I belong. Surely my home is there in Not-Even-Anything land.

    Po Zhou Yi, 815 AD.

  • cmysmiaczxotoy@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    As an autist in solitude for 8-9 years who has had a long term romantic relationship for 7-8 years. The overall happiness level for me has been slightly better single and abstinent. There are positives and negatives from both ways of life but happiness does usually equalize

  • badaboomxx@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    After a couple of bad relationships, I stopped caring about getting married, it took a weight off my back.

  • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    Meh, I just found some locals in the SW community, turns out being good with your mouth makes you a well liked enough client to start making legit friends

  • tjarod11@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    The more men who give into being single, the better my chances are. Imagine if I were to make this man feel wanted. If we’re compatible as well, we could be happy.