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He was Bankman, now he’s Fried
slow clap
Come Mr. Bankman, bank me crypto-bonanza…
Don’t steal from the rich
But we can still steal from the poor right?
No problem there!
Phew! I was worried there for a second! Good to know I’ll continue to face no consequences!
Unless you’re poor too
Steal? No, it’s a clever business model where I convince you to buy dogshit because dogshit will be worth x10 next month and I’m definitely not dumping all my dogshit once you poors drive the price up.
It’s encouraged!
Minor fines may be involved and a stern “that’s a no-no!” from a regulatory organization.
Of course! Society isn’t going crazy.
The Shkreli Principle
I would simply have not given real money to some company in the Bahamas in exchange for a token and a promise the token would be good for more money later. But I’m street smart like that.
They didn’t make their own crypto coin.
I remember finding them in a list where they offered something like 8% interest if you deposited your bitcoins with them which was still fishy as hell. It looked like a sweet deal but I wondered how they managed to do that sustainably. I guess the answer was “they didn’t”.
I think you’re thinking about Celsius. SBF absolutely had his own coin, and it is tantamount to the whole FTX collapse. Their competitor owned a shit load of it, it was called FTT iirc. He then just decided to tweet out that they were selling all their FTT, and then everyone started selling FTT which started a run on the token.
The company also pumped FTT and other tokens value through their hedge fund Alameda research. The man deserves every last day of sentencing.
I think you’re right. I must be mixing up all these crypto-based scams.
It’s almost like crypto itself is one giant Ponzi scheme?! Forget I said that. It’s tHe FutUrE
Also, be glad you didn’t put money in Celsius. I have a friend that did for the interest that they were offering. It worked… Til it didn’t. He lost $50k.
He is set to be sentenced by Judge Lewis Kaplan on March 28th of next year and faces decades in prison.
What a tease. Hurry up!
deleted by creator
Can we do some more CEOs and bankers, now? Start a trend. Keep the ball rolling. Puhleeeze.
“Originally placed under house arrest, he was sent to jail in August for violations of his bail conditions, including using a VPN to watch a football game and leaking the diary entries of his ex-girlfriend”
Ok I get the diary, that’s shitty…but using a VPN to watch football? That’s a normal Saturday afternoon.
Not when you could be also using that vpn to communicate with people without them knowing
He also got caught sending some cryptic messages to someone saying something along the lines of getting their stories straight.
He said he had concluded that Mr. Bankman-Fried’s communication with the media and a separate attempt to contact a former FTX employee were intended to “intimidate or also to influence” witnesses in the case.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/08/11/technology/sam-bankman-fried-jail.html
When you’ve got bail conditions on the order of roughly a lifetime’s income riding on not using a VPN, I think you can skip football for a while.
Try to incite an insurrection and steal an election: you’ll walk away with no consequences.
Steal money from the rich: you will burn.
Trump’s still on trial. I’m sure he’ll go to jail for something or other.
He won’t.
There it is.
So, will all the conservative chuds who were convinced he was going to walk because he donates to the Democrats do any kind of follow-up on that theory?
Not your keys, not your coins
That is what happens when you steal from the rich.
Finally some actual good news for a change, let me break out the bubbles! 🍾🥂
While reading your comment I somehow managed to overlook the emojis initially and I just pictured you running outside with a bubble wand and a container of soapy water to celebrate.
It really is a mind fuck that I could walk out into the middle of the street in broad daylight in full view of 100 people, shoot someone in the head at point blank range, killing them and still end up with less time than this guy will most likely get so long as the person I murdered wasn’t well to do financially.
A lot of people are using the cheat code of being a cop and then doing 0 time.
Do you really believe that the typical murderer serves less time than the typical securities fraudster?
So, so guilty.
Sam Bad-Bankman Fraud
Sam Bankman Not Freed
Scamuel Brokeman Fraud
…to the surprise of absolutely no one.
