I learned yesterday that there’s a limit to that, when I added an extra two full shots of espresso to my single latte, making it the most powerful drink I’ve had in a while. Wow was I wired. Caffeine usually makes me sleepy, this just made me unbearably anxious.

And I just felt vaguely super anxious for no reason, just physical anxiety, as usual (i don’t really have psychological symptoms like rumination or negative racing thoughts, except when I have physical symptoms, when the physical clears up, so does my mental), something my doctors don’t believe me is a valid issue… it’s usually the other way around, the physical caused by the mental.

Biology is weird. I still have my anxiety because I love stimulants, but I still feel better than before I was on an ssri. (Sertariline specifically)