I’ve lost 3 men in my life to suicide, 1 very close and very recently. What resources can I engage with to help. Literally what can I do, outside of generic advice, what’s an action I can proactively take. Are suicide hotlines still a thing? Is being an operator on there possible and what qualifications are there.
I’ll have to be cautious about this advice, as I’m not a therapist, but: Ask for help with something. Any task they could be more qualified for, or that you need a second person, rely on them a bit. When they help you, thank them wholeheartedly, even with a gesture like a gift.
People like to feel that they’re needed and appreciated, that they have some worthiness in people’s eyes. But don’t fault yourself for lack of this action - it’s impossible for everyone to do this for everyone they know, and self-harmful minds do a lot to hide themselves.
Best of luck.
This was what kept my suicidal ideation just that. I was in a place of deep suffering but my dog needed me to wake up semi regularly. A buddy would need to talk about something now then. Somebody needed help moving. Even work, while also being part of problem gave me something to be a part of.
I wish I had sage advice for you. I lost my first born to suicide 13 years ago this month, and my best friend
34 years ago.My son was in therapy, among other things to help. I kept telling them he needed to be in inpatient psychiatric care, with constant suicide watch. They disagreed.
My best friend was in a depression spiral, stemming from a work related back injury.
I was actively trying to help both. I realize now, I am not properly equipped to help alone.
Edit: I realized my friend went in 2022, not 2023.
It’s not your fault. You don’t have to carry the world on your shoulders.
Suicide always leaves those of us behind with many questions, more than one takes an ever greater toll on the mind of the one left behind, so I want to first say first and foremost, genuinely: Your emotions are valid, and I know firsthand how much it can make one become overwhelmed.
Yes, suicide hotlines are still a thing. For the LGBTQ+ Youth, there is The Trevor Project, for others 988 services general crisis-level calls. You would need to contact particular crisis centers themselves likely for more details, but I would suspect one would need a degree in Psychology or other therapeutic-esque degrees to work in them.
Other than that, the unfortunate and harsh truth is that if one truly intends to go through with it, you as one person are unlikely to know until it is too late. Some choose the mercy of an out on their own accord, and those serious oft not talk about it unprompted. We have to try to be the best we can for those we cherish, and if something happens in spite of that, we know that we gave them a light, however dim it might have been, before the time. It is not a full solace, but it contextualizes an otherwise very overwhelming feeling.
I appreciate the response!
It depends very strongly on the reasons.
But as someone who had severe struggles with this and still thinks about it from time to time (since live is fucking hard and some developments also absolutely not helping) I would also wish for something that might sound very hard.
Letting go.
!mentalhealth@lemmy.world or !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world might have information for you
I’m very very sorry for your loss.
I think one thing that would help someone depressed is to be with them and not expect them to have energy to reach out (And also respecting what they want). Of course considering ones own mental resources and not burning yourself out. And supporting them in getting help.
Everyone has their own reasons for being depressed, sometimes unknown even to themselves. Another thing that would help is to support the depressed person in working towards solution to their reason, if its something you can help with. Or helping them find something else that can help.
Just dont wear yourself out, then you cant help anyone. The professionals should do the “heavy lifting” but one can be there in someones life to support.
Imo its better to help few people a lot than help many people a little. (helping someone personally vs answering phone, but hotlines are important too. They just treat the symptoms though)
Kinda surprised no one’s mentioned 988 yet. (Edit, okay yeah I saw it.) It’s relatively new but it’s absolutely a thing. I also happen to know the VA has a crisis line as well if anyone can use that. They promote it often.
In my experience there’s two types of suicidal people. One is the person who talks about it frequently, sometimes jokingly, sometimes not, and that person is easy. They’re asking for help and for someone to intervene. They want to be stopped.
The second one is the one we should worry about. They’re dead set on taking their own life and will make sure they can’t be stopped. They’ll make a plan quietly, secretly. They’ll carry out the plan when no one is around. They may even look okay, because often a person who has made the final decision to do it will appear calm and happy. If you suspect such a thing, the only thing you can truly do is make sure they never get the opportunity. Make sure they’re never alone. Keep them talking. Watch their mood. Tell others in their circle to do the same.
Which brings me to another point: Call in the cavalry. You don’t have to fight someone’s suicidal ideation by yourself. Get their friends and family around them to move them towards professional help, because it’s a group effort.
As far as real, actionable advise, that’s really the best I can offer.
Well, 988 is presumably a national offering, since these short numbers don’t route internationally…
Hey, I work for a mental health call center, we take several lines and one of them is the 988 line. Many places will actually take volunteers, and they’ll give you the training you need. If you want help looking for volunteer opportunities in your area, feel free to DM me and I can help locate those with you.
If you want other suggestions of how to help, I have many!
Messaged.
My youngest was suicidal and my wife and I took a handful of suicide awareness and prevention classes. They were put on by the community and incredibly helpful.
Maybe start there?
I’m trying to find things like that near me.
Suicide hotlines are very much still a thing, and you typically don’t need any kind of license or degree. I think many are volunteers.
There are also likely outreach programs in your area, if you search for them, and they frequently need volunteers. Helping people to access services is one of the more effective ways to prevent deaths, especially for high-risk populations like: addiction, lgbt, homeless.
If you’re looking to make a (paying) career change for this, there are also entry level jobs in behavioral health at inpatient and outpatient centers.
There are still appropriate crisis hotlines all over the world.
Care for yourself and be yourself when you are around them.
If you feel happy be happy around them.
Ask them if they have considered therapy.
Ask them if they’ve done sports
Ask them if they have looked into their nutrition
If they say no to all of these questions try to not put too much preassure on yourself.
If they say yes to any or all those question try to not put too much preassure on yourself.
This is going to sound dark but it saved a few lives.
Embrace the truth that depression is trying to tell you and you are now free to do anything.
Punch a shark, go skydiving, enjoy those moments that you denied yourself and nothing remains to be afraid of because they are all safer than suicide.
Let go of who you thought you were; that is not you now and you need to become the self that you need to be.
I’m sorry for your loss. I read somewhere in reddit in the past that the book “Suicide: The forever decision” helped them.
I didn’t read that book to personally vouch for it but kept it in mind because the comment seemed genuine.
