I ask because I caught myself being a huge hypocrite again.
I’m a millennial and I criticized a Gen Z friend for her constant use of the word ‘lowkey.’
I then realized do I not do the same thing? I often say ‘sorta’ or ‘kinda’ when I do just mean I did the thing in the same way she uses ‘lowkey.’
No, I didn’t ‘kinda’ delete a guy’s account at my stupid IT job. I DELETED HIS ACCOUNT! I didn’t ‘sorta’ leave too late for work. I FUCKING LEFT LATE!
So I am a massive fucking hypocrite who needs to just let Gen Z chill and do what the want as I am the same flavor of asshole, but what about you?
I think I understand what you’re talking about. I wouldn’t classify the extra words I use as strictly “filler” words. My phrasing is designed to avoid speaking in absolutes. I’m sure it was intentional at one point but it’s been a habit for so long that it’s become automatic.
I’ve considered why I do this and come up with a few reasons. First, because I routinely doubt myself. Even on topics where I am an expert. Imposter syndrome is real. Second, because I often find myself having to deliver news that the other person(s) doesn’t want to hear and I feel like it helps “soften the blow.” And third, to give myself the feeling of plausible denyability; even if there really is none. e.g. “I said <X> could happen, not would happen.”
TLDR: Because I doubt myself and want to avoid conflict.
But there are times when I will drop the fillers. And it’s not really a conscious effort. If I’m talking about something I feel morally responsible for, I will drop the bullshit and get straight to the point. It happens when I’ve decided that I’m going to die on this [proverbial] hill and that doing what I think is right outweighs any potential consequences. I can coun’t on one, maybe two hands where I’ve felt I had to choose between a job or a friend and my personal ethics.
In those moments, the fillers go away because my choice is already made.