I grew up in a house with a swear word jar, and a filler word jar. The swear word jar worked differently than most. We didn’t put a quarter in every time we used a swear word. We put a dollar in every time we use a swear word incorrectly or as a filler word. According to my parents, “profanity should be used as punctuation and emphasis, not decoration.”

The filler word jar worked like a normal swear word jar. $0.25 in the jar for each and every filler word we used. Since this was in the '80s and '90s, we learned to think about what we said before we started speaking.

Maybe you let your friend know you realized you’re a hypocrite?

Oh definitely. The way I use language changes drastically based on the situation. I try to avoid it as much as I can - which means I still end up using them plenty often enough lol. And that’s the biggest culprit right there, appending ‘lol’ in text to come across more agreeable/chill.

I do find it interesting how the filler words differ between generations. Lowkey I mix slang from millenials, gen z, and just a splash of gen x. Whatever suits the scenario and my mood :D

It’s a continued training for me to eliminate these filler words. I try to remind myself that space between words is OK. Silence is ok and actually much needed in our society. Give yourself a second to form your next thought in silence. Yes it’s uncomfortable at first to adjust the habbit. But similar to meditation, dont be hard on yourself when you use a filler word again. Just the repeated act of noticing trains that muscle.

I use “really” and “very” way too much.

When editing my writings, I keep an eye out for those words especially, and either delete them or replace them. So, instead of “very happy”, I might write “thrilled” or “ecstatic.”

I think I understand what you’re talking about. I wouldn’t classify the extra words I use as strictly “filler” words. My phrasing is designed to avoid speaking in absolutes. I’m sure it was intentional at one point but it’s been a habit for so long that it’s become automatic.

I’ve considered why I do this and come up with a few reasons. First, because I routinely doubt myself. Even on topics where I am an expert. Imposter syndrome is real. Second, because I often find myself having to deliver news that the other person(s) doesn’t want to hear and I feel like it helps “soften the blow.” And third, to give myself the feeling of plausible denyability; even if there really is none. e.g. “I said <X> could happen, not would happen.”

TLDR: Because I doubt myself and want to avoid conflict.

But there are times when I will drop the fillers. And it’s not really a conscious effort. If I’m talking about something I feel morally responsible for, I will drop the bullshit and get straight to the point. It happens when I’ve decided that I’m going to die on this [proverbial] hill and that doing what I think is right outweighs any potential consequences. I can coun’t on one, maybe two hands where I’ve felt I had to choose between a job or a friend and my personal ethics.

In those moments, the fillers go away because my choice is already made.

uhh NO!?

such words can be useful to signal being slightly uncomfortable about the fact… when not overused. i see your point, of course!

I need my filler words!

Fuck no!

Hmm, well, uh, maybe?

Why use more word when less word work

No, I mean I don’t use them needlessly or whatever. I kinda use them to sorta let my thoughts buffer.

For some reason, I have an incredibly difficult time not saying like.

I bet if there were a word cloud of mymost commonly used words of all of my posts, “like” would be the sun in my fucking word solar system.