It’s not the best writing but it sure is a fun story. I haven’t caught any major plot holes and I’m tempted to say beautiful prose would actually make it worse lol

But yeah, I do agree he really could have used an editor for the first few books especially. I never found it TOO bothersome but I did notice it. Like at some point while writing, he must have learned the word “mollified” because it starts appearing everywhere. The only time it made me pause was really silly and inconsequential -

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Someone, I think a sponsor, makes a pill that they say will ONLY on humans. Carl had already become a Primal at that point!

Not sure I agree with your specific criticism, though. I have aphantasia (no “theater if the mind,” wah wuh) and aside from the train book, I never had any issues understanding the landscape or scene.

It’s still enjoyable so I still recommend it. I don’t think you have to be a great writer to tell a great story!

My biggest complaint about his writing is (spoilers…)

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In the last book or two, Carl knows a LOT that we don’t. I’m fine with not knowing what his plan is with the Doomsday Scenario because that’s just one thing but now there’s so much that happened “off screen” and we only find out about it when he reveals it to an antagonist.

When that happens, I do believe Matt Dinniman actually planned for it…but it FEELS like deus ex machina. I want to use clues he laid out to predict what’s going to happen (even if I’m wrong), not get blindsided.

Plot holes are what really kills a story for me and I haven’t caught any.