When I was a child, we had chickens. Once, when I was five or six, we had a rooster who would chase me out of the yard when I went outside to play. Seeing this, my father held me over the chicken pen as I kicked at the rooster with my little cowboy boots, but the rooster didn’t learn.
So he equipped me as a knight, and sent me with a broomhandle sword, a winter coat, and safety glasses to do battle. I fought him from the lowest dip to the highest hill, the Rooster of Cruelty, until I at last I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the hillside.
Never again did he trouble me, and never again shall I let poultry tyrannize me! Ever again shall I ride to war against the avian, fair or fowl; thus is my vow.
Is this Brennan Lee Mulligan?
Pure poetry <3
I need someone to draw a comic of this
I’ve seen worse plotlines in movies lately.
Later that night you ate him for dinner and it was delicious I bet.
source: Former Rhode Island Red Rooster Punter.
What a cock! This needs to be expanded into a short story. You have a way with words.
Who the hell let a goose get an Infinity gauntlet?!
Genuinely can’t tell which one is supposed to be the goose in this situation
Why are you abusing the local wildlife?
No, it’s a canada goose.
That golf course episode is one of their best.
Yeah, and that’s fucking SAYING something! 🥰
That dude played “barely holding it together” to perfection 😂
I’m in tears every time I watch it. Second only to the pap smear scene
Best show ever.
When I was in college, Canandian Geese were all over the park outside my apartment building. They never got out of the way, shit all over the grass, just made a mess of the place. One night, my neighbor came home a little tipsy, and when a goose got to close to him, he slapped it on the back. Not enough to injure it, but he definitely startled it. For the rest of the year, the geese cleared a path for him whenever he came through. I guess word got around in the goose community that he was not to be fucked with.
*canada geese
That can’t be right. That feels like when Republicans say, “Democrat party,” instead of, “Democratic,” because they think it’s some big insult or something. (For the record, I’m sure you’re right, I just think it’s dumb.)
The local danger noodle not giving a shit, yet I still ran away
I learned to fear the Canada Goose when I was bicycle commuting along the Thames tow-path back in the day. However, they are nothing compared to the swans.
As an Australian, I really don’t get it. You guys have fucking bears in your country, but geese are the ones that scare people
Edit: oh right the emu war. I get it now
Also as an Australian living in a major city, the animal I fear the most is the human. Especially when they’re in the driving seat of a car.
All we have in my part of the country are black bears. They’re big but they’ll run off if you yell at them. Geese know no fear.
But actually mountain lions, moose, and wolves are worse than bears.
What’s worse to walk up on during a hike? A moose or a grizzly? Tough choice
You’re more likely to find the moose. The bear just wants foods.
People almost always refer to “Canadian” geese instead of Canada geese. I will frequently chime in with “How did you know their nationality? Did you check their passports?” :D
Kudos for using the right form!
Tell me you’ve never encountered a swan without telling me you’ve never encountered a swan:
Those necky cunts can catch these hands too
One tried to attack my son when he was about 6 while we were walking in a park, not particularly close to where it started. I reminded it of which species eats the other species by kicking it in its stupid bill. It backed off. I was prepared to kill it.
Your talking a lot of shit for some one with hollow bones.
Don’t kill the goose 😭
Geese are mostly harmless. They can give you a little pinch, but that’s about it. I never understood why people are afraid of them.
I was lucky enough to spend a couple of years around a flock and they’re really cool animals. They even remembered me when they returned in springtime. Geese are awesome.
I love geese. Roasted, smoked, grilled…
