School has started and my teen refuses to use an alarm, leaving me to do the wakeup myself. As thr door is locked, I cannot gently awaken them. So, I decided music was great and chose the following 3 songs (played in this order and the reaction):
- Viva La Vida - Coldplay
- [quiet groans from inside, no movement]
- Baby Shark
- [whimpers and the sound of pillows shuffling]
- Welcome to the Jungle - Guns & Roses
- [door flew open, I was forced to flee]
So three songs seems to be the sweet spot. I’d like to keep it fresh and change daily so they can’t adapt. Please give me your 3-song playlist so I can continue to psychologically torture wake my child for school every day.
WAKE UPwake up
Grab a bush and put a little makeup
Nyan cat 24 hour loop
Ballroom Blitz - Sweet
Mr Blue Sky - ELO
X Gon Give It to Ya - DMX
Turn Down for What - Like Jihn
Pound the Alarm - Nicki Minaj
Everybody - Backstreet Boys
Wannabe - Spice Girls
Cha Cha Cha - Kaarija
Paloma Rumba - Simon
X Gon Give It To Ya is brilliant, changing my alarms rn
My grandmother would regularly play mariachi music at way too early hours of Saturday as she was cleaning because she liked it. I learned to wake up before the crack of dawn on those days so I could be out of the house in time to avoid it.
Anyways, spice it up with things like yodelling, bagpipes, any cultural music with extremely high pitched instruments or vocals, and particularly emotional songs from popular musicals. And maybe throw in a soundtrack of metal pots falling down the stairs or glass crashing in between songs, just to keep them on their toes.
Either What’s New Pussycat is longer than I remember…
Rawr.
Wham! — Wake Me Up
TMBG — Wake Up Call
Bullfrog ft. Kid Koala — Music for More Morning People
(I used to use Hokus Pick’s “I’m So Happy” but it just hits different under the current presidential administration)
Not gonna cap it off with Wake Up by RAtM?
Pick three three of their favorite songs and start singing terribly. I’m talking off-key, purposely wrong lyrics. As loud as you can.
Even better if you can improv the lyrics to customize it just for them.
If they wish to preserve the sanctity of their media they’ll wake up sooner rather than later.
Pick three three of their favorite songs and start singing terribly
no. just their favorite songs in general.
I once had the briht idea of using my favorite songs as my alarm sound.
It just lead to me absolutely hating the songs, because my brain associated them with waking up
Can also mix it up and play those songs on one of those recorders they teach you to play in elementary school.
I had a roommate who would play “Burning Down the House” by Talking Heads every morning at top volume.
It starts slow and quiet, then the drums kick in hard, launching you out of bed. By the end of the song we’d be pogo-dancing around the apartment.
Start off confusing them with a cacophony of sound, followed by high energy, into Tom Jones shouting. Should be pretty hard to sleep through all of that
Had no idea there was a Tom Jones cover of Burning Down the House.
In return, here’s a David Byrne cover of Crystal Water’s Gypsy Woman.
Neither really capture the original, but they’re interesting.
I was playing video games with a friend while listening to music and said out loud “is this a Tom Jones cover of Burning Down the House?” and her immediate impression of the song was dead on even though she’d never heard it before
Cbat is evil
The main theme from the Lion King
I think you’re going about this the wrong way, You won’t have wake them up if they can never fall asleep listening to every song here all night. Tell them you’ll only turn it of if they set their own alarm.
Right now you’re training them that the obnoxious music will be their alarm.
Also, if your kid has an android I love the alarm app called AMDroid. It is super customizable, (who knew an alarm could have so many options). It can set to do things like send a notification after a few minutes “are you awake?”, if you don’t respond the alarm goes again. You can set various math or word challenges to stop the alarm, you can make it only turn of if you’re close enough to the router, or at a certain light level, and so on.
Also do you have a way to unlock the door? Not from a privacy breaching point, you shouldn’t do that, but as a you just heard bloody murder and need to get in (or you don’t get any response from them). Don’t let a locked door be a 5 minute difference you’ll regret.
I’ve been using this for years and it’s so great
Might I suggest: Who Let the Dogs Out followed by Around the World and lastly The Final Countdown.
make your own song entirely out of gen alpha memes and slang that you don’t even understand and make it as wrong as possible
- MELT-BANANA - The Hive
- Anna Meredith - Nautilus
- Aphex Twin - Come To Daddy
If they’re not enough for your child to choose an alarm instead, I don’t know what is.
When I struggled to get up in my late teens and early twenties, I used a submarine dive horn as an alarm. That worked well, but my roommates were not a fan.
Edit: This is a fun post and I kinda ignored the game, my bad!
I use Fleet Foxes’ Sun Giant as an alarm, the deep inhale in the beginning gets me up instantly then the soft music is comforting as I stir awake. But might not be as useful for a teen who can’t wake up.
Streetlight Manifesto’s Everything Went Numb starts with horns and quickly gets upbeat and fast, great track that seems hard to sleep through.
Moxy Fruvus’ King of Spain has a good mix of upbeat, percussive vocals and a slightly embarassing Weird Al/comedy acapella vibes that might make it insufferable to sleep through.
I could easily see Blue Swede’s Hooked on a Feeling becoming a dreaded familiar wake up call. Ooga Chaka Ooga Ooga Ooga Chaka Ooga Ooga Ooga Chaka…
Maybe set up a subwoofer under their bed and hit em with something like Aquagen’s Ihr Seid so Leise.
