TW: Assault / Abuse

Dated for six weeks and when I tried to leave the relationship she physically restrained me (I was at her place), I didn’t want to hurt her so I spent the next hour or so talking my way out of it. Later that night she got drunk, came around to my place, yelled outside for a bit and then broke in. That’s the short version at least, my experiences were actually really positive after that though.

Met with a girl for dinner after talking for a week or so on tinder. We pretty much agreed if the date went well we would go back to my place and fuck. We both were recently tested for STDs and she was on the stick in the arm BC. She was kinky and into a lot of the same things I was. Date went well so we spent the night together. She calls me a couple days later and tells me she’s sorry but she has/had gonorrhea. As well as that when told me she had been tested recently, she had, she just hadn’t gotten the results yet. The sex was unprotected and I was pissed. I told her it was clearly deceptive and I wasn’t interested in talking to her anymore. She was angry, urged me to reconsider and argued it’s not a big deal. I said regardless of the fact its a quick cure with antibiotics the initial deception completely soured me. She then went on a rant about how the sex wasn’t even that good because I wouldn’t punch her during. Tune quickly changed to I’m the bad guy/bad lay and she wants nothing to do with me. Blocked but not forgotten.

Once had a man that myself and my partner matched with for a potential threesome. The guy was more interested in me than my partner, which almost immediately ruled out any possibility of hooking up with him, but we were giving him some time before deciding if it was a complete no-go.

One evening after we had been chatting for a few days, he mentioned to me he was pretty sure which apartment building I lived in and he was in the neighborhood. He wanted to stop by.

I never told him where I lived and had never had him over before.

Fucking hell, that made me immediately block him everywhere and be a bit more aware of where my keys were while walking home for a while.

Not a single experience but in general all the ghosting and effort that went into nothing. I texted with so many people, yet all of it felt like the same. After a few days 90% of them stopped replying, and the other 10%, well, either I didn’t want to text with them anymore (but then I told them that!) or something else came in between. I ended up meeting two people. One of them disappeared after two dates and the other, well, we both agreed that it won’t work between us. I just feel like there are very few people that are compatible with me on there. And then, my ex, who I am still not over heard that I’m on a dating Plattform and i heard that she knew. That was the end of it for me. I felt terrible for a day. But that’s half a year ago now, maybe I’ll try it again.

In hindsight it was kinda funny. She was a bitch who‘s life revolved around acting like she’s upperclass. She was a saleswoman at a Mercedes dealership and got to drive one herself. The place I chose was not nice enough for her, which she constantly complained about and she laughed at me for taking the train and not owning a car at the time (this is Germany btw). When we left the restaurant and said goodbye, she asked me if I could help her build a website for free. I was like „Ummm no?“ and she just said „Typical men“.

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My best dating app experience was my first app date, which was with the person I’ve very happily been with for ten years now.

My worst dating app experience was my second app date, which was just meh and boring and showed me they wouldn’t all be as awesome as the first one, and I went back to dating the first one.

Really poor quality of shit here, but its still the only and worst.

Once had a bot message me. First bot I’d encountered since MSN messenger about 5 years prior so I fell for it, wasnt primed for it and I was very very drunk at the time. Wasted about 3 hours talking with it, responding to what turned out the next morning to be very obvious non-sequitors. Explaining to “her” that coming to meet “her” that meeting up now, at 2am, was a bad idea etc etc.

2 or 3 hours later and it explained to me that I could visit the website and it needed a credit card but only to verify that im 18.

I was crushed.

I went on a first date with a woman and she was making the most intense eye contact I’ve ever experienced. It was like she was trying to drill into my soul with her stare. I had to keep breaking it to look away because it was just too much. After about an hour of kinda of awkward conversation because of the staring she asks if I’m autistic… I said no, not that I’m aware of and left to go to the bathroom. When I returned she asked if this was the end of the date and that there probably wouldn’t be another right? I was quite upset at the time and called my best female friend to gripe about it. She laughed and said she had almost the exact l same thing happen to her a few days earlier.

Then there was “secret mom” who we went of a few dates and then she came over one night. She waits until we are both naked and have been fooling around, which is just about the worst time to say oh by the way I have a kid. Boner gone and I didn’t know what to say but I guess she didn’t like my facial reaction and left crying. I felt bad the next day and called to apologize but say it was best if we didn’t see each other. She kept pursuing me over the next few weeks and we ended up sleeping together. After wards she got pelvic inflammatory disease and accused me of having an STD and giving it to her. I was sure I was clean but agreed to get tested results came back good and hers did too. When I looked up PID it said it most likely caused by another STD but like 25% of the time just intercourse can cause it. After both tests came back clean she still kept after me but I was 100% done. Not with being asked to get tested but the way she came at me about it.

It’s between going out with a heroin drug dealer or heroin drug user. Most depressing things ever.

Yessss tell me all you secrets. Possibly the apps on your phone right now…muh hahahaha 👿

Getting perma banned off tinder for using it to sell stuff. Met quite a few people, even one celebity.

Overall it’s just the huge amount of ghosting that really bothers me. I put effort into the messages I send, trying to give open-ended questions that you can answer however you like, and then getting nothing in return.

Or getting judged so hard for being bisexual sucks, especially because 1. I’m like 95% straight, and 2. being Bi doesn’t mean you’re more prone to cheating.

Women say they want a caring, empathetic guy, someone who’s in touch with his feminine side, but if they ever have a chance to date a guy who’s actually made the effort to explore his sexuality, and get in touch with his feminine side, NOPE! God forbid they don’t fit into the weird patriarchal gender roles that you claim to buck. 🙄

I recently changed my profile to just say I’m straight, because, I dunno, I feel more straight than bi, and wanted to see if I got more matches. and boy did I ever! Turns out women just really hate bi men, and that fucking sucks, dude.

Then I’ll go on dates with women, and despite going OK, I’m just not getting any signs from them. They’ll spend time looking at their phones, don’t tuck their hair behind their ear, don’t give me the sexy eyes, don’t give me the casual arm touch, don’t ask follow-up questions (or any questions, really), and then when we say goodbye at the end, I get a half, one-arm hug. And then they want a second date! Why! It was clear from the first date you weren’t into me, so why are we even bothering with a second!?

Then there’s the cat-fishing. Using old pictures from when you were 100+ lbs lighter. Like, you really thought I’d show up and not care that I’m no longer attracted to you? People want to date people they’re attracted to! Then there’s the women with the crazy contortionist pictures, and lemme just give everybody a tip. If the only full-body pictures a woman has, are ones where she 1. is literally hiding parts of her body, like a picture in a mirror, but half her body isn’t being reflected, or in a group shot, and she’s half behind someone else 2. where she’s standing in some weird position, like ass towards the camera, but she’s craning herself around to face the camera as well, or 3. Where there’s gratuitous big titties being shown, but they somehow cover up her torso… Yeah, she ain’t hiding a 6 pack! it’s because she got a big ol’ belly, and doesn’t want you to see it until you’re on a date, in which case she’s convinced that you’ll have a sunk-cost fallacy and think “well, I’m already here and like her personality…” No! it’s some bullshit. They are literally pretending to be someone they’re not. Fuck off. I’ll give’em a pity fuck if I feel like it and then I’m gone.

Another thing to watch out for that tell you they’re cat-fishing, if right before you’re supposed to meet, they talk about a “weight loss journey,” or about how they “used to be into cross-fit” or hiking or whatever… yeah, it’s because they gained a bunch of weight, and want you to to think that if you only give them some time, they’ll be right back to their regular skinny self. NOPE. They won’t. I’m not a stock trader, I’m not looking to “buy low, sell high” when it comes to dating. I’m not looking to fix anybody, or date somebody’s “potential.” I’m looking to date a person. A full, complete, realized fucking adult person. Someone who doesn’t manipulate, someone who doesn’t lie about themselves, someone who doesn’t have to trick me into going on a date with them. How about this, you be yourself, and I’ll be myself, and if we like each other, it’ll work, and if we don’t, no harm done.

Also, I’ve had women set up dates, and then just, not show up and ghost me. What the fuck? It’s happened multiple times. There should be a report feature on dating sites for this behavior, because it’s absolutely fucked.

I once met someone who was at least 10kg heavier, 5yrs older and much weirder than the pictures led me to believe. She also insisted I (and everyone she took strolls with) stay on her right side, all the time.

Antoher time, a women became physically “playful” often. I brushed it off, until one time she it did while holding a knife in her hand. I told her to stop that, or I would ditch her asap. Sometime afterwards, we laid on a couch and she wedged herself between the couch and me, pushing me off. I wanted to break my fall, effectively spinning and bruising my latissimus really badly. Told her to fuck off after that, she didn’t realize that I was in fact very serious and she didn’t see how her behaviour could be an issue.

Another one thought it was a great idea to scratch me so heavily on the side of my neck that I developed a slight infection, which turned into a light ‘scar’ before fading. She - too - didn’t see the problem.

Got a blister on three fingers from all the swiping.

This was simultaneously the best experience.

Sound like I got lucky by being unlucky compared to some of the other commenters.