book the airbnb
I’d rather be lonely than give this garbage company a single cent of my money.
They rent out Palestinian homes in the West Bank that were stolen by Zionist settler terrorists.
Fuck AirBnB
There’s a reason I stopped hosting gatherings and planning events.
I used to live within 20 minutes by car, bus, or train to every single one of my friends. Now the closest one is 35 minutes away. Many of them are parents now, some have second jobs.
Planning changed from a “let’s hang next Friday” to a week-long process of comparing availabilities (usually received after individually bugging people) which results in a planned night 1-2 months out. And often times, something comes up and we have to start over.
I got frustrated with it and started giving them MY availability, telling them to figure it out between themselves and get back to me. But since I’m kind of the linchpin of a disparate friend group, it rarely happens.
My goodness, I have a friend who refuses (REFUSES) to give a bulk availability list, and instead just say “No” to everyone else’s dates that don’t match his. My bro, just give me a list of days for the love of socialism.
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Me: I can do X, Y, Z, and AA
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Friend1 : I got X, Z, AA, and maybe Y if we go early
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Friend2: I got V, Y, N, %, and Left-Field
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Friend3 : None of those work for me
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Me: What does work for you?
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Friend3: I dunno, what dates are you guys open to?
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Me: WE JUST DID THAT
I mean, at that point, don’t discuss it in text, but use a scheduling tool that forces people into a framework. If they refuse, they’re just being a dick, but at that point, at least it’s obvious they’re fucking around.
Mine aren’t that bad and it’s admittedly only one of them who cancels but it’s still frustrating enough for me to call it quits on organizing stuff
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Step 1: Become the planner.
Step 2: Tell every one that the plan is cancelled.
Step 3: Enjoy your time alone at home, watching a film or show you’ve already watched 100 times, while drinking cola with potato chips.
A regularly scheduled event is imo the best solution. Just have something on one night per month, everyone knows when it is, if they can’t make it no big deal there’s always next month. No need to continuously be organising something new.
Introverts need more casual interactions, the walk or bike to work/school, with a stop at the local park or coffee shop
Obligatory, FUCK AIRBNB!
oh sure thanks, let me get my gold lined cheque book and start making reservations this second!
Well yeah that post is bougie af, you could just invite people over lol
then no one comes
Never ever book an airbnb
I was the planner for my friend group for the better part of a decade, and then I moved to a different country.
I’m still the planner for my biweekly Zoom call with my besties, which is going strong.
The other friends pretty rarely get together now. I told them someone had to take up the mantle, but nobody did.
Possibly the most crippling part of having adhd for me is that I desperately try to do this but cannot hold it together long enough to make anything happen. Everyone I know talks about how bored and isolated they are, how much they miss getting out or getting together, but the only reason it worked when I was leading things was because I had an open door policy and no one else ever had anywhere else to be. Now that we all have lives and partners and families I can’t just let people show up at 3am, crash on the couch, and hand out tomorrow. They couldn’t do that if I could because they all have work in the morning. Ironically I live closer to my friends now than I ever did before and get to spend so much less time with them.
When i inv people to things they don’t come
You have the planner and the nucleus. The nucleus is the person that everyone wants to hang out with, usually an extrovert with no planning skills. The planner and the nucleus are natural allies because they meet eachother’s needs. So figure out who the nucleus of your group is, be good buds, and plan things out with them first so you know they can make it before you send out the invite.
Then when you send out the invite they’ll reply all to say they’re coming and everyone else will come. Some groups have multiple nuclei so that’s a thing too.
Planner nucleus followers arrangement might make you feel unloved as the planner… But it’s just normal human social structures. Even Nazis had the same setup with Hitler and Goebel, Trump and Miller. Any group you look at has this structure! Secretly without the planner nobody gets to hang out at all so they’re the real OG imo. A group with only nucleus-followers is a bunch of people who rarely meet and say “we should do this more often” and then don’t.
This week, I planned a 4p game night, got several people to respond affirmatively on it. No one showed up.
Some people are just so brain-empty they can’t associate words to meaning. They just respond in expectation, assuming they should say “Yeah, I’ll be there!” and then perform no follow up with travel planning or calendar entries. That is how dumb this generation is.
Flaky people have always been flaky it’s not a generational thing.
You were planning the event. Did you perform any follow up?
It’s the phones 😒
People were flaky before phones, don’t make this a generational thing.
I’m not, I was less flaky before I got a phone.
Young folks are the ones eschewing smartphones, not boomers
I’m the opposite. Having easy access to calendar reminders has made me way less flaky
Ah interesting. For me being able to actually reach people at any time has made me much more prone to cancelling plans.
I guess that shows the danger of generalizations based on a small sample size.
Yeah… I suppose anything can be the cause of anything to some person. Phones have been a bane for people like me, but obviously I’m not the only type of person.
2meirl4meirl
If I have the spoons and money, I like to just host an outing for my friends. Plan it, pay for everything and drive. It’s sweet to provide an experience that might not have happened without the effort.
