fuck I’m not in the right headspace when I’m asking this, unresolved trauma. Now I’m repeating in my head “love them more than my mental illnesses”.

I wanted to warn an organization i cared about my past and that manipulation comes naturally to me to the point where I don’t notice after the fact. I legit want see them succeeded and stand in blind solidarity.

I have reached out someone in the organization about my issues. I’m hoping they respond.

  • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
    71·
    12 days ago

    I’ve been working on myself and trying to be a better person. I’ve seen the beauty of nature and see how the entire history biosphere has made me and the bacteria i rely on and the food i eat. i learned to love every living thing because i can use them to influence events well beyond my death. I should learn to love other people because they’re the most capable species

      • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
        32·
        12 days ago

        I’ve done that in the past. and i work on absolutely destroying ego’s for my amusement. it’s my favorite hobby

          • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
            12·
            12 days ago

            yeah I enjoy it, i actually hesitant to encourage that behavior or give people advice on that. I don’t want mentally abusive tactics being used by irresponsible people or other lesser narcissists.

    • gurty@lemmy.world
      2·
      12 days ago

      It doesn’t sound like narcissism (from my own experience with narcissistic people). It sounds more like you are having some sort of episode. I’d strongly, strongly suggest getting in touch with a professional. I genuinely hope you are okay.