• HawtP0tat0@sh.itjust.works
    71·
    19 days ago

    Have a friend on a ‘healing journey’ and they reading declassified MK ultra docs like its the bible. Bruh.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
      3·
      19 days ago

      Like, thinking that was done to them or…

      Because ngl reading those docs does sound fascinating, but not in any way healing

      • HawtP0tat0@sh.itjust.works
        2·
        19 days ago

        Like ‘If I meditate hard enough with LSD and have a goat lick my ***hole I can achieve godhood and it won’t matter that my ex cheated on me’ kinda thing.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
          2·
          18 days ago

          Ah yes, the “acid and meditation will fix all my problems” instead of “acid and meditation will sit me down and force me to confront some of my problems”. Such a simple mistake but so many make it

    • Skankhunt420@sh.itjust.works
      2·
      19 days ago

      I swear to god dude those files changed 12 year old me when I found out about them.

      It seriously tore me apart I was asking all of my teachers about it, every single adult I know “Did you know that we did this?? Why don’t we learn about this here in school?” I obsessed over it.

      My dad finally told me to tone it the fuck down, so I did. But I still think about them all the time because it was like one of the first glimpses I had into the fact that people we are supposed to trust are untrustworthy.

      • Agent641@lemmy.world
        2·
        19 days ago

        I was about 12 or 13 when I read them too on some obscure shady forum and I was like “This is crazy conspiracy theorist shit.” Little did I know, those crazy conspiracy nuts were on to something

    • theloneyank@slrpnk.netBanned from communityEnglish
      11·
      19 days ago

      WOW a reader! So whats up! I would love to pick their brain. Cool interest but subject is bleak which is fine with me. Did you tell them how you feel? or other people?

      • Skankhunt420@sh.itjust.works
        1·
        19 days ago

        If you’re a reader check them out

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MKUltra

        Some of the ones I remember most are the ones where the pediatricians would experiment on the bodies of some of the kids who died in the hospitals and not tell the parents, and when they gave that CIA guy a heroic mega dose of LSD and put him in a mirrored room with prostitues and he jumped out a window or the one where they fed kids in the “science club” at their school irradiated oats from the Quaker Oats corporation (trademark! They knew about it) just to see what would happen to them.

        There’s way worse than that in there though. Some real freakshow shit but honestly just imagine all the shit someone was reading through all this saw to want to black out whole pages of information.

        I bet you its because some of it might still be ongoing.

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
    5·
    19 days ago

    That’s why I just self administered CBT and dropped acid a few times

    I probably should drop acid again to help internalize healing I’ve done for shit that happened since then

    • Skankhunt420@sh.itjust.works
      1·
      19 days ago

      Have you ever had a bad time on it?

      I know a lot of people that say this about using it to heal and stuff and man from my perspective I’m like how!?

      Have you ever had a panic attack type of situation on it? If so how do you channel that into something healing? I always just feel so broken down and depressed at the end of trips like that.

      Do you pair it with anything that helps? I used to enjoy it so much man and have explosively good times on it but that doesn’t seem to happen anymore now I just worry about shit.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
        3·
        19 days ago

        I was in my mid 20s at the time lol, so it may be that I was young. But I was also actively practicing CBT at the time and trying to fix my mind.

        I’ve never had a trip that was unproductively bad, but I’ve also never had a trip that was easy and all fun (n is in the single digits though). All of them fit somewhere in the “challenging” category where a portion of it was very unpleasant, but ultimately constructive.

        My worst was before I started the CBT and was with my now ex around the beginning of the end of the relationship. It was mostly trying to show me that we’d grown incompatible. The lessons of the rest were either similar “hey you’re deliberately ignoring something with someone in your life who you happen to be tripping with”, or “here’s some bullshit you’ve been on and it’s time to confront it and actually change.”

        Those trips aren’t easy, and they aren’t necessarily relaxing. They’re more comparable to an emotional marathon or some other physical challenge made emotional. And I think part of what’s vital is I go in accepting that I can change and part of my goal is change. The suck is necessary to achieve the goal. A big part of how they worked was actually forcing me to face shit. The only way out was through, and by the end a self destructive behavior or thought pattern was firmly something I didn’t want to participate in anymore.

        So yeah I guess learning meditation techniques and how to hamper panic attacks and channel the energy they come with into useful and constructive energy is probably the crux of it though. My cbt was largely focused on that and breaking the destructive habits I learned from cptsd.

        Oh also sex on the come up was always nice.