I’m from Canada so everyone except for the indigenous originally came from somewhere else. I love it when people ask my about my roots, but someone told me it was rude.
There’s sort of a racist undertone to that kind of question that can put people on guard. I think you just need to be cognizant of that when you frame a question.
The annoying version goes like this:
White person: Where are you from?
Brown person: Calgary
White person, squinting at their skin: Ok, but where are you from?
Brown person: Still Calgary.
White person: visibly frustrated
The annoying/racist part being that white people are assumed to originate from North America, but literally everyone else (including indigenous people, lol) are immigrants.
The basic question is fine and I’ve never seen someone upset about being asked. But if you go into more detailed questions, keep in mind they might mispercieve what you’re asking.
“We are all African.” — Richard Dawkins
“You are a fungal organism.” - Paul Stamets
“We’re made of starstuff.” - Carl Sagan
It heavily depends on context. I love to chat about mine but I won’t if I sense that there’s a risk of discrimination. The amount of information I divulge depends heavily on how close we are. If you ask it out of the blue and you’re not someone I trust well, it comes off as rude.
Hello from Ontario
Fellow Ontarian. Go Raptors.
As a man, I’ve learned to never say anything about a woman’s hair, beyond “Love it!”, or “Looks great!”
Fashionable hair is difficult to maintain and long hair changes daily depending on all sorts of conditions
I don’t know for sure, but I think so. And I’m a naturally curious person about these things, so I try to frame it in a way different from their looks, such as “That’s an interesting name… where’s it from?”.
Depends. If they are white and middle class probably not an issue. Otherwise it might not be received in the ‘get to know you way’ it is intended. I lived in Vancouver for 40 years but didn’t live there as a child. As the joke goes, no one is from there everyone just moves there at some time in their life. If you ask a white person about it, they will tell you where they came from or if they are one of the few born there. If you ask anyone else they will complain that you are racist. Don’t even try to ask about ancestry or language or accent because it is all considered racist. So ask about the weather instead and if they are friendly they will add more to the conversation and if they don’t, they probably don’t want to get to know other people anyway.
I’ve had that very same experience and on the coast. I’m an Ontarian and ask people all the time, where they live, where they’re from, what they do… It’s just conversation. When I went out west people, took offense and gave me shit for asking! I figured it’s because a lot of people in BC are searching for an identity because they don’t have a community or something. Or at least the traveler types I met fit that bill. I did learn pretty quick that if they were an ethnicity or sounded like they were from Ontario, you shouldn’t ask them where they grew up.
As a Chinese American, I don’t find it offensive. I mean at this point I kinda just embraced my background, I mean I still have a Chinese name as my legal name and I still speak Cantonese and Mandarin (with very basic fluency tho)
Unless you say it like: “Oh, your English is very good! Where are you from?” and the person clearly has a native-accent 🙄 (don’t do it like this)
(hasn’t happened yet, usually people are either much more overt like using racial slurs, or just not display racism at all)
I think you should just ask something like: “What is your ancestral background?” more direct and IMO sounds a lot better. But I think the context is key, you need to feel the vibe in the room is good before you ask that, don’t just walk up to someone and ask that as the first question.
But I was born in China, so I am technically speaking not “from” here, but if you are in the US and ask an Asian person born and grew up in the US that question, they might not like it. You should probably frame it like: “Hey I’m just curious, what is your ancestral background?”
After arriving to a new country and seeing different ppl (I.e. non-white) asked the question “Ok, but where are you really from?”, I realised asking about roots could be seen as rude by association.
I defaulted to asking, if the conversation heads that way, “Did you grow up around here?” As I see this question assumes you’re a local, and at the same time it’s broad enough for others to respond however they want.
When I was younger I got a lot of “what are you?” Well asked that way yeah, I think it’s rude. Also, I really don’t know, usually say mostly southern European because that I know about, and England if you go back far enough but everyone has so many ancestors at that point, it doesn’t make sense really, I think you have to go pretty far back to get to any other country, I am from here.
I think Americans tend to be more sensitive about this, but Canadians (at least in the Toronto area) tend to me more open to this.
I guess it’s different when you’re the only minority in town, compared to other scenarios where most people are white.
Depends on both the person asking (whether they’re obviously “good vibes” or not, if they just seem curious and appreciative or simply trying to connect with you [“oh, I went to X some years ago, it was lovely, and this person seems like a native from there, that’s a good conversation starter, right?” - mental process]) and the person being asked (if they’re withdrawn/afraid of people and suspect foul play/bad intentions or not, or if they’ve had many impasses with racist people, for instance).
Depends. Many times, yes it is rude. To figure it out I take into account relevance and understandable curiosity. Is it relevant to the situation? What’s their demeanor towards me? But it’s hard to tell, really. Some people wear a mask better than others. And it can get annoying when you hear it several times a day.
Would you think it rude to ask an indigenous person of their background? If yes, then the answer is yes.
I wouldn’t. I’m really interested in different cultures.
I should have added (my bad), would you think it’s not rude to ask an indigenous person about their background. If no, then the answer is no.
