In this case, I’m referring to the notion that we all make minor sacrifices in our daily interactions in service of a “greater good” for everyone.
“Following the rules” would be a simplified version of what I’m talking about, I suppose. But also keeping an awareness/attitude about "How will my choices affect the people around me in this moment? “Common courtesy”, “situational awareness”, etc…
I don’t know that it’s a “new” phenomenon by any means, I just seem to have an increasing (subjective) awareness of it’s decline of late.
My spouse and I talk about this often. A very obvious example is how rude (and recklessly dangerous) people are while driving. And myriad minor things out in public in general. No sense of community and a complete lack of consideration for others is the new normal. It got worse during and after the pandemic.
It really has gotten worse since the pandemic, and I see it retry much every time I’m out. Earlier today I was out walking with my dog and kid. At one point we needed to cross the street at a four way stop. However, three cars in a row didn’t even slow down for their stop sign. It’s dangerous out there
Yes, driving, parking–all manner of auto-related behavior are prime examples of this. But I would add that pedestrians are not faultless. Can’t count the number of times I’ve had to wait for a young, healthy pedestrian just taking. their. time. in the crosswalk while a bunch of us are waiting to complete a turn, for example. I always double-time it in a crosswalk–it’s not only courteous–it diminishes the likelihood of me getting run down by someone looking at their phone while they’re driving.
I hear you but is really that big of a deal? Out of all the many challenges in life, slow pedestrians affects maybe like 15-25 seconds of my day at most lol. Who cares if they trot or stroll?
In a larger sense, you’re right of course–but it’s another one of the “death by a thousand cuts” that I encounter every day…
Have you considered that it feels like this because of how you look at it? I used to feel like you do, aggravated at something that shouldn’t be aggravating. It took a lot to realize that these little things are just that. Little.
I’m sorry, but when I’m walking 2 miles to the nearest store, I’ll adopt a steady pace. When it’s my turn to go at the intersection, I’ll take the time I need to go through.
All these impatient drivers are sitting in their air-conditioned car anyway, I’m not breaking a sweat just so they can save a few seconds.
So what you’re saying is that you don’t care about others people’s time or convenience. Which then raises the question, why should others care about yours?
This attitude is the breakdown of the social contract being discussed right now lol
I guess it could be construed that way, but there’s a fairness element to it, too. I have waited for my turn, I’d like my time to be respected, especially by people who will be less inconvenienced than me. They will most likely make it to their destination way before me, too… Which only makes their impatience more frustrating.
I can’t say I e ever been impatient at someone crossing the street. Unless they were purposely being spiteful, they should be able to go at their own speed. Then again, my street has a lot of elderly, so I know they can’t always speed walk
Actually, one of my most embarrassing cringe moments …. A jackass van driver parked diagonally across our street , blocking the whole thing. I imagine he thought it was a quiet street and he could get the van door slightly closer for his pickup. Effing rude as hell and there was no reason for it. So I was pissed off and using my horn to try to get him to move his effing vehicle ….,until I saw him go to the house and try to rush the disabled person he was picking up. Now I look like the asshole. Although I have to say he never did that again
So when ur a pedestrian cars should behave like you want them to and when youre the driver pedestrians should behave the way you want them to. Nice.
You’re sitting down and they are walking, you can wait
Our communities have been destroyed by this cult of hyper-individualism.
The balance between society and the individual has been tilted wildly to the individual. Everyone is an island now.
It’s not a cult if everyone believes in it
You have to be willfully ignorant to think thats true
No, in order to believe that’s true I have to believe that the definition of “cult” is “a small religion”
I don’t know, but I just spent two days at an amusement park, so I’m in the sort of mood where I hate all people everywhere.
Like why the fuck are you just standing in the middle of a walkway? No, your group of 20 can’t jump the line to catch up with the one 6 year old who’s been alone for an hour. And double fuck everyone in the wave pool.
Family of 5 walks out of a busy door, takes two steps, stops to discuss their plans. There are literally a hundred people around coming and going. And that’s where you stop?
Happens on the daily in the city.
No one anywhere “cares” about anyone else. Don’t like it, deal. Or better yet keep quiet and leave me the fuck alone. Mentality of 95% of this world it seems.
My favorite version of the large-group-stops-in-the-worst-spot is when they do that at the top (or bottom) of ESCALATORS. 🤦♂️
This comment gave me anxiety and reminded me precisely why I started vacationing to very quiet places
I just went to two amusement parks in Japan this week (Universal and Disney). It’s a different world here. People form orderly queues. They wait their turn. They don’t make noise. We all say thank you at the end of an interaction.
I see 20 metre single-file queues for escalators. Back home it’s a chaotic meat funnel.
My husband and I discuss this regularly. The loss of the social contract.
It is so sad to see so many people respond with “not my responsibility.” Why isn’t it? If you want to be a part of society then it is your responsibility. Part of being “civilized” is the strongest helping the weakest and most vulnerable. Our truest measure as humans is how we treat those who need the most.
Bringing other people up to a dignified level increases your value, not decreases. It doesn’t take away from you to let others have dignity and respect.
A great deal of people don’t view society as theirs. When someone stands outside the system, what is there to lose or care about? Personally, I believe i see your larger point, but many people don’t consider the social and responsibility this way.
Paying taxes is one way of doing this, and man, people are really hellbent on trying to avoid that.
People are more inclined to pay taxes when they think it’s actually going to something. Check out socialist Nordic counties, where many people proudly pay the high tax
If your gov is corrupt then yeah, why would you want to pay taxes
I think if wages were higher people would have less problem parting with some of their income. But when living expenses are so close to net income it’s tough.
Its trickle-down tax evasion. When I see our politicians avoiding paying millions in taxes and getting away with it, I wonder why should I contribute. I see Apple, Amazon and the tech companies who make a fortune in my country get away with sending the profits to the Cayman islands. All the super markets having a zero-tax liability, so more of the burden falls onto me, I figure maybe I should get an accountant who can help me too.
The same people don’t wash their hands after the toilet.
When you can barely afford to pay rent and you see a third of your cheque disappear to “deductions” while the Prime Minister gets 350k a year for life. you start to get a bit resentful.
I know taxes are fees for services, but I couldn’t afford to use many of those services.
I’m from the U.S. most of the services I actually Can use are funded by state taxes. My federal taxes go partially to good things, but when looking at the discretionary budget, which excludes entitlements to which people have directly paid and which the government is obligated to pay out, the vast majority of my federal tax dollars go to oppressing people in foreign countries, and then those weapons are given to police departments to oppress people locally.
Paradoxically, the poor pay taxes more often, and those with significantly more income are the ones bitching about taxes.
I don’t know if it’s actually real but I feel like since Corona and the Lockdowns many people are even nastier than before.
I’m looking forward to research on that.
I’ve an impression that “people are even nastier than before” has been a result of Trump era politics which reveled in nastiness — which itself appeared to be a pushback from nasty people about Obama being president. Basically its been a growing divide and was made a lot worse when such a prominent political group doubled down on divisiveness as a tribal identity.
I think it predated covid, which certainly made things worse, but I don’t really know what the cause was.
I’d agree that it started pre-covid. Trumpers really were/are vile and despicable. Their leader was pure garbage during covid which brought out even more outrageous reaction against science and those who tried to do the right thing.
I don’t know that I’d call it ‘apparent’.
My interactions with people in my life are, by and large, very decent. Social media amplifies the bad actors and makes the problematic things seem more widespread than they are, but in fact, it’s just an algorithm grabbing the same content you’ve had your eyeballs on consistently and feeding you more of it. That creates the illusion that the problem you’re hearing about is worse than it may be.
I will say, though, that I’ve become more of a fan of massive retaliation when I do run into people who lack basic politeness. If I’m in the gym and someone’s playing music on speakerphone, I will work out near them and turn on the loudest metal track in my playlist at full volume. I keep a stick of gel deodorant in my car to use on the door handles of people who park rudely, and if someone is speaking to another person rudely in my presence I always say something. I try not to answer rudeness for rudeness to a person’s face, because just asking “Why would you speak to someone that way?” is usually more effective for defusing people than escalating aggression. (But you get my drift)
The hero we don’t deserve but need. Continue your deeds.
I also like to politely remember people that they accidentally dropped something when they litter
Unfortunately getting told to have dropped something seems to cause spontaneous deafness in a lot of people… 😞
I have been known to helpfully retrieve it for them with a “here you go, you dropped this.”
Social media creates more bad actors on the internet vs bad actors IRL.
In the real world, the thing that keeps everyone in check is the fear of shame and embarrassment. The internet provides anonymity that makes those concerns go away. I personally have made comments in Lemmy that I would never make in real life. Because I know there are no consequences. Put deodorant gel on my username, tough guy.
I think many people just have a fundamental misunderstanding that they are indeed a part of something larger.
What really gets me is the little stuff.
Major asshole stuff you can just write off as that person being a cunt by nature. But the dude on the bus playing tiktoks at full volume with 0 disregard probably isn’t some irredeemable asshole, he’s just a normal guy that doesn’t give a fuck. Same with people that put their bags on seats or park in the way of traffic, or litter etc.
For me its less of a contract and more of a built-in instinct. I feel physically ill if I think I unfairly annoy or hindering someone. I dont get why others feel like its only a contract, one which they can break if they want to. But they can and I have accepted it. So I dont despair, they are only human (and so am I).
The social contract is simply a more formal explanation and exploration of exactly what you just described. It is sort of the bridge between basic human behavior and a codified set of rules governing society. The golden rule is great and all but it is actually really difficult to codify that in black and white legislation. There’s been tons of speculation about it over the centuries. Guys like Hobbes, Rousseau, and Locke for example; and then their work heavily influenced the american founders like Jefferson, Monroe, Madison, and other political titans like them.
Everyone in this thread is ignoring all of the invisible things we do everyday as part of the social contract:
-Every time someone stops at a red light
-Every time we accept a piece of paper and in return render some service or surrender some treasure
-Every person waiting in line everywhere
-Every person who pays taxes
-Every time we go to the grocery store and just take it for granted that there will be food at the grocery store
I get it some a-hole cut you off in traffic. But we rely on our social contract to literally stay alive. It is a miracle and the pinnacle of human achievement. Maybe just say thank you?
I was literally just reading about social contract theory the other day, brushing up because it’s been a while since my political philosophy coursework in undergrad.
I was thinking this is definitely something everyone should brush up on, because it seems to be something many of us have forgotten about.
We live in a society, together, and give up certain freedoms in exchange for stable lifestyles lived without fear.
I think people have forgotten about everyone’s individual responsibility, their mandate, to uphold their part of this social contract. I think people have forgotten what shame is.
Great post.
Unfortunately, the people that need this reminder the most are also generally staunchly anti-intellectualism.
Some dude was chopping wood at 11 pm for at least 45 minutes at this camp site I’m occupying. I’d think that as neglect for others hahaha.
At least he wasn’t running a generator.
Yeah camping is a perfect example. People listen to music on bluetooth speakers even while hiking, no respect for nature or for others. Since pandemic I try to avoid campgrounds entirely
What’s fascinating is reading about the social contract following WW2. It seems to line up that when that generation was in charge things like CEO pay wasn’t off the charts. Then the next generation it started to go up. And now the 3rd generation it’s completely bonkers.
Don’t discount unions though. And don’t forget that black people didn’t get the social contract.
