One of my abusers has aggressive parents who are very strict and wake them up at 4 a.m. every day, and neither of them have very many friends nor boyfriends which they desperately want and are lonely. Should I feel bad despite how they treated me?
One of my abusers has aggressive parents who are very strict and wake them up at 4 a.m. every day, and neither of them have very many friends nor boyfriends which they desperately want and are lonely. Should I feel bad despite how they treated me?
Do not hold on to hate. Don’t pay an emotional price on people who don’t care about you
Do not feel guilt about other people suffering the consequences of their own actions. Don’t pay an emotional price on people who don’t care about you
Have empathy for the injustices others face. It helps you let go of hate
You are responsible for how you respond to your environment. They are responsible for themselves. They chose to respond to abuse by abusing others. You can perpetuate that cycle or stop it. Treat them the way you wish to be treated. Do so knowing they owe you a social debt for their abuse, and do not put yourself at risk while treating them with fairness
Do these things and you will be at peace with yourself and others.
This is a big one, though I have a more nuanced view.
“That is a fucked up thing and shouldn’t happen to anyone. I couldn’t give two shits about that person in particular because they’re a piece of shit, but what is happening to them is unacceptable.”
That’s how I feel about bad shit happening to horrible people in prison. A serial rapist gets raped in prison? Unacceptable. It shouldn’t be allowed, and everyone responsible should be held to account. However, I lack the necessary empathy to feel for that serial rapist. I try, but there’s a lot of people out there suffering more who did nothing or less that I should care about, and I have a limited amount of care. Doesn’t mean I’m okay woth prison rape, though.