I thought the crowd favorite would’ve been Luigi, though I have no idea what the requirements are for being elected Pope.

Satan. I’m pretty sure he would greatly increase the morality and the accountability in the Catholic Church.

Vermin Supreme.

John Mastodon

The Gang Bankrupts The Vatican

theme song

Cue Musk with his lottery for votes.

Screw it, I’ll be the pope if that means I can release the records on their pedo priest protection program.

Yeah Danny sounds good. Or Jack Black would pope the hell out of that Vatican, literally.

Trump! Make Trump the new Pope. That would be hilarious!

“You’re the pope?? I didn’t vote for you…”

• Benjamin Franklin, probably. Or whoever it was that said “Not everything quoted on the internet is real”

Honestly I don’t care (well, beyond making this pope post), as I am not catholic. I am technically a protestant by heritage, but the truth is that I find even the term “agnostic” to be too religiously loaded to the point where I usually refer to myself as areligious instead.

As for the pope. Well, he’s… there… well, not right now. But he will be soon-ish. I’ll just accept whoevers named announced while venting smoke from the cardinal thunderdome as being the new pope. And then he’ll be there again.

Beyond that, he doesn’t affect my life in any way. Nor do I affect his life in any way. Unless he accepts my challenge to an offroad and uphill car race. Yes, he’s gonna have to drive the popemobile himself for this. I’ll be driving my new AWD Lolvo. I’m sure it’ll be fun for anyone involved, no matter who wins.

But having said all of that: I think Robbie Coltrane would do well as a pope.

The Archbishop of Kabul

Adam Savage

Joe Biden

I vote for whomever Francis had on mind (hopefully he discussed that before passing).

There’s little chance of getting someone as decent as him.

Donald Glover