What qualities do you covet?
I wish I was worth peoples’ time.
You are! The people that make you feel you aren’t, aren’t worth your time 😉
I wish I were less anxious/self-conscious. It’s weird because outwardly almost no one knows that I am. I’m charismatic and easy to talk to, a natural leader in the workplace (I’ve managed now at every job I’ve held) and I’m a loving and supportive father. But deep down I’m still self-conscious as hell. I experience a lot of spotlight syndrome and I feel like I dress frumpy, walk weird, etc. I have a lot of social anxiety and think every situation/confrontation is going to be a worst-case scenario. Had to take 5 weeks off of work for a stress fracture and allowed myself to believe leading up to it that my (typically supportive) boss was going to be angry or petty or challenge me over it. He was extremely supportive and told me to just take the time off and not to worry about putting out the fires at work.
I don’t know how I conditioned myself to be like this. Probably a side-effecting of growing up fat and all the self-hate that came with it. I got rid of the fat a lot time ago, but I don’t think that shit ever really left me. Fortunately my daughter does not share my lack of confidence. That kid is miles ahead of her peers and I’m so proud of her.
I wish I was happy. Not even all of the time, just some?
Be able to draw fast. I’m hilariously slow at drawing 😂
I’m great, so I wish I had more money.
I sometimes wish I could be social without feeling mentally and physically drained.
Same, its always seems to take a toll no matter how well it goes or how much I like the others
I wish I didn’t have an addictive personality. I just wanna be a casual heroin user, is that too much to ask for? I don’t want to sell my mom’s TV for another hit rather have a job and pay for my own scores. Ya know responsibly
I don’t think think its necessarily an addictive personality that makes one susceptible to heroin. Heroin (especially in the format its consumed) is basically pure pleasure/heaven all at once since all the RoA are all IV/snort/smoke, anyone would end up with a problem after like a week.
Can I ask what heroin seems to be acting as a balm or buffer for?
I wish I was more disciplined/focused.
Can you do it just for today?
Not having any signs or traits of being neurospicy
I’m seeing that word come up moreadays. What do you mean by it?
It’s a tongue in cheek way of referring to neurodivergence. The same way that someone might refer to neurotypical as neurobland.
Its funny cuz I’m quite vanilla but I’m not neurovanilla
I wish I was persuasive
A really old book, how to win friends and influence people, can teach you this.
TBH I don’t want have to change at all, I’m just saying in the magic genie scenario I’d wish that people agreed with me
I’ve been recommended this book multiple times and it probably would help me, but I feel like I’d have to admit to myself that my goal is manipulation before picking it up, and I don’t want that to be my goal.
Wish I could negotiate and haggle, I just don’t want to, it doesn’t feel good to me. I’d rather accept or refuse the offer and move on.
Do you tend to struggle with people pleasing as well or is it limited to negotiation?
It’s more to do with honesty. If the seller says it’s worth this much and that’s what they need to charge to cover their costs, then I would like to think that’s true because if it isn’t, they’re lying.
I think this might be where it comes from for me, too. If you say it’s with x, and I think it’s worth z, I don’t want to insult you or assume you’re trying to scam me by asking for x, but I also don’t want to pay much more than z.
The concept of some mystical “y” living in the middle is lost to me and it’s socially impossible to reach “y” without me calling you a scammer or you calling me cheap, so no deal will be made today.
Yes that’s exactly it!
Limited to negotiation.
I wish to know, what free will even is, and how it could be possible.
Fitness/athleticism.
This for sure! I didn’t appreciate my knees enough when they worked better.
I wish I were more handy or had the mindset for tinkering and doing mechincal repairs. I lack the focus and spatial awareness to look at something, diagnose the problem, and effectively repair it or jury-rig a solution around it.
Same. Always been a dreamer and creative person, just never practical. Although, having the spirit is the first step, right?
Try learning to code a bit if its of interest to you. It will MAKE you into a tinkerer, driven by the thrill of the squashing of the bug and getting the outputs va inputs that you want and is correct
I wish I would be less of an hypocrite.
What makes you a hypocrite?
I do the things I despise others for doing.
Like?
Cutting people of while driving.
Why do you think that happens?
“Rules for Thee but not for Me”
There’s a cognitive or logical error that this describes. Something about others are judged by actions and outcomes, we judge ourselves by heavily-rationalized intention
Do you think its possible to try evaluating people more on their intentions and demonstrated efforts rather than whatever outcome that comes of it if it seems reasonable they are genuine in their dealings with you?
I feel like when people are given and palpably experience genuine grace and having their dignity upheld, they are usualy more inclined to reciprocate as well pay it forward
