Joined the Army thinking I was going to do some good in the world for my country.
Would the army even exist if it weren’t for young, naive, and/or desperate folk?
Certainly not in the forms it’s been in since the 60’s. They have stepped up their education benefits quite a bit in the last 20 years but the price is still too high if you’re in combat arms and ever have to go do your job for real.
When I was a dumb kid, me and other dumb kids found some paving tiles and decided to break them by throwing them in the air. Unfortunately, I was really bad at aiming, caught it on my head and caused permanent spinal damage.
The doctor recommended strength training, because my muscles would overtaxed by compensating for my wonky spine, which I promptly ignored because, again, I was a dumb kid and girls don’t lift weights. So from age 10 to 19 ish I basically had debilitating neck pains every few months which had me stuck in bed on painkillers and muscle relaxants.
After 9 years of being an idiot, I started listening to the doctors, lifted weights, and basically never had a sore neck again. The main downside is that clothes shopping is hard now.
I once tried to be a discord kitten at 16 for a day as a joke and also out of curiosity of the outcome.
Dont.
I’ll take your advice even further: I won’t even try to look up what a “discord kitten” even is.
Good. Now have a cookie! 🍪
I’m terribly sorry for your loss of mental health. Getting the vile shit of the internet directed art you as an adult is awful, can’t imagine how tough it is for a 16y/o.
Yea… it was pretty rough first discovering discord. When I did the Kitten thing, I pretended to be 14. My dms were FLOODED in mere seconds, and I wish I was exaggerating. In 3 minutes I got 90 different dms from people. All male. All of em wanted to fuck me. I never even listed anything remotely NSFW or romantic in my server intro. I just said “Hey! 14yo here, I like to play roblox n stuff sometimes and cosplay! I’m just here hoping to make some more friends ;w;”
I feel like I need a shower after reading that but also that’s kinda funny
Mid threesome i had an idea for a position to try. Well, that idea got me a penile fracture. 0/10 would not recommend
I was out of sugar, so I tried to sweeten Kool-Aid with honey. Nope. Just god-awful.
That reminds me of when I tried mixing milk with orange juice because I saw it online. Then, I went into denial trying to keep it down because people wouldn’t just go on the internet and lie, right?
That’s too bad, lemonade made with honey is amazing.
trying to unscrew a stubborn hex standoff with my teeth instead of waiting until I could get my driver
I was trying to clean something in a bucket of bleach, but didn’t have quite enough to cover it. I grabbed a bottle of toilet cleaner, assuming it was just expensive thick bleach, and poured a bunch in. After I started coughing I looked at the back of the bottle, it’s active ingredient was hydrochloric acid.
Many bathroom cleaners are ammonia based. Mixing chlorine bleach with ammonia creates chlorine gas, the same stuff used as chemical weapons in WWI.
And damage from chlorine gas NEVER heals. That reduced lung capacity is for the rest of your now-shortened life.
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When I was little, I enjoyed “inventing” things, or drawing designs for things, mostly consisting of aircraft or space ships. One of them was a sub that was constructed out of transparent inflatable plastic, similar to a Zorb ball, so you’d have an unobstructed view of the ocean. It was tear drop shaped and the appeal of the Zorb ball construction was that it’d be comfortable to lie in as you roamed the depths of the ocean. As I got older I learned more about physics and realised what a terrible idea that would actually be.
10/10 better than Titan Sub.
Got a discount dog from the pound. It had been adopted and the returned.
I was thinking sweet a $31 dog
Nope. 16 years later I still have this nightmare of an animal
Good on you for giving him a home instead of turning him away tho
I tried League of Legends
Reaching out to catch the falling hatchet I’d just finished sharpening. 13 stitches…
At least now you know you’ve done a good job sharpening it.
Reminds me of that story from reddit where op caught a falling microtome blade and suffered from blood poisoning because the nurse messed up his blood types
Took a joy ride on a bulldozer. We built jumps with it and then went over them as fast as that thing would go. No one got hurt and it was a great time, but I think back to how dangerous and stupid it was (no seat belts, one person drove and the rest of us just held onto the cab for dear life, right above the tracks), and realize how lucky we were that nothing bad happened.
“My hair’s getting a bit long, and my fringe keeps getting in my eyes. It can’t be that hard to give it a little trim, right?” 5 minutes later “…I’m going out for dinner in just over an hour. How quickly can I get to a hairdressers?”
My ex had long hair and wanted me to cut it, he pulled it over one shoulder and said “Cut it, just cut it here” and I said “no, it will be slanty” (because he had it pulled over to one side). He insisted, I shrugged and did it .
“IT’S SLANTY, WHAT DID YOU DO!”
Stepping out of a moving vehicle
Her name was Michelle.
