Over half of women who have had abortions have had a previous child.
Forgot to add- Around half of women who have had abortions have had at least one child previously.
It’s funny that Republicans want to force women to have babies but then also complain about women that have too many babies and refer to them as “welfare babies” but also want to defund social aid programs and not provide additional resources to foster kids and orphanages.
(I know that was a run-on sentence.)
It all makes sense when you realize it has nothing to do with children. They just hate women who have sex and want to punish them for it.
Well, it was a run-on thought! It really does feel that convoluted when you try and figure it out, but rest assured, you’ve now thought about this in more depth than most conservatives!
I’d like to see how many people who have abortions later on choose to have a child. I think the “what if” logic for not having an abortions should also be applied to when having an abortion.
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more than you’d think, i’m guessing.
anyway, what’s it to you? if someone has an abortion and never chooses to have a child, why does that matter to anyone else?
I’m curious about statistics. The post I replied to was about statistics.
Any document for doctors who will actually listen and not make incredibly fucking idiotic observations about completely irrelevant medical topics? Asking for at least half the population of women in the U.S. who have gone in with a legit problem and been verbally pushed aside and not listened to.
“When was your last period?”
“I came in to be prescribed anti-depressants. I have been officially diagnosed.”
“Yes yes, but how is your uterus?”
“I am going to need anti-psychotics if you keep this up.”
I was thirteen years old when I went to the doctor by myself because a cut on my eyelid wasn’t healing. I was asked about my birth control, sexual activity, and whether I thought I could be pregnant (after saying I’ve never had sex) then pushed out of the examination room after NOT having my eye examined at all.
As an adult, I realize now how terrible that was and I would have done something about it if it had happened to me today. But at the time I was so embarrassed and hurt, I just pushed all thought of it away until years later.
What the hell? That’s so wack and useless. Stating the obvious, I know. Just saying I feel for your and others who may have had to deal with that kind of behavior.
Considering you are talking about Memerica, you also was charged for it
The fact that this has to be a Google doc maintained by the general public, instead of just having doctors do their damn job, is infuriating.
Something makes me uneasy about this being a Google sheet, you need to use credentials to view it and someone has a log of who has accessed it…you can probably even see who’s viewing it in realtime
Use an anonymous account! Or someone should host this on a website or something with higher privacy
You can open it in private/incognito tab, it doesn’t require credentials
Just entered it, with my Google credentials, even though I’m neither a woman nor an American. If they are going to track people who read it, let’s add as much garbage data as we can (to the tracking, not to the sheet)
Not all heroes wear capes. Thanks from the dystopian state of Texas, OP <3
Are these not valid questions? Serious question, don’t mean to offend. I got asked the same types of questions before my doctor agreed to do my vasectomy.
My understanding is that doctors often don’t just question but often refuse if they think the person should not do it. To be clear, that refusal is generally based on personal opinion, not for medical reasons.
My wife’s gynecologist has asked her if she wanted to get her tubes tied during all three of our pregnancies. It didn’t offend us, we have the kids we want now and she said yes this last time.
I appreciated him asking. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s on that list.
Isn’t it far safer for a man to get a vasectomy?
Yeah it definitely is. I’m older than her though and we discussed it. I could end up kicking the bucket or our relationship might fail and she wants to plan ahead for the unknown.
We’ve got a few more weeks to talk about it, but ultimately I might end up getting a vasectomy too just to have it over with. I have plenty of kids.
I have two adopted and 5 biological, so I’m good at this point.
Hell, I was good 3 kids ago really. Haha
I wouldn’t trade any of them for anything in this world though.
As a man, I think it’s the sort of experience that men struggle to understand because of patriarchal dynamics.
What I mean is: if a doctor were to:
- ask me if I have considered other forms of birth control
- and then explain all the different birth control methods to make sure I actually understand,
- ask if I’ve talked about the decision with my wife,
- and then explain that a general impression of her opinion isn’t the same thing as sitting down together and reviewing all the data,
- ask if understand how the surgery will affect my body
- and then explain the hormonal changes my body would go through
- etc
before agreeing to schedule a vasectomy.
Interpretting these questions through the lens of my lived experience:
These are thorough but pragmatic questions. The doctor is trying to make sure I understand all the options. The doctor is a peer with special expertise and wants to make sure that I understand all the risks.
But women too often grow up in an environment which tells them:
- Women should trust the men in their lives too make the best decisions for them.
- That having children is the most important thing they can do in the world.
- A woman’s value is proportional to her utility as a wife and mother.
- Women that have sex for fun are disgusting sluts.
So when they get asked a barrage of questions identical to the ones I’dve been asked, they experience them very differently. Women are not irrational to hear the exact same questions very differently if they are interpreting them through the lens of their experiences. Maybe they experience those questions as:
- “Why don’t you just stop having so much sec you slut?”
- “Don’t you know how to have sex with out getting pregnant you dumb bitch?”
- “Do you have your husband’s permission?”
- “Does your husband know you’re a slut?”
- “Do you understand that you will be destroying your value to society if you don’t have kids?”
- “Do you understand that you will become any even crazier bitch after this?”
And too often, the doctor really does mean that.
Edit to add: I’d value other people’s takes too.
I’m so happy that I already see a doctor on that list. When I told her that I won’t function if I get taken off my birth control because of my endometriosis and how heavy my periods are, I was told that a hysterectomy isn’t something she’d consider YET and heavily implied she’d actually consider it if birth control becomes illegal. Love her.
i hope you will forgive me for asking something so personal (and i understand if you choose to ignore it), but - if you want a hysterectomy now and have been advised of the impacts, why is she unwilling at present?
Because she doesn’t think it is medically necessary due to the fact my birth control is keeping everything handled. I’m fine with not getting one now, but will want one if birth control becomes illegal.
OP is based
Based ❤️
how do i submit a doctor? i had a hysterectomy at 27, childless, thanks to an exhausting search that led me to an amazing gyno in my area.
ope, i figured it out. lol
Considering the aims of Project 2025, this may end up being illegal within the next four years.
Best to pass this info on to any pre-menopausal women that you know of out there. Having tubes tied still allows eggs to be harvested, it just prevents the sperm from reaching said egg outside of a test tube.
Thank you for this!
Why 21 and not 18 though?
Probably makes the list a lot smaller
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Yeah I don’t think that’s the plan for most people. Some people just don’t want to take on the resposibility of kids and tubal litigation and vasectomies are good ways to prevent kids.
Hey, I have no issues with that. After all, it’s mainly liberals/progressives/leftist that are anti-children.
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Urologists do vasectomies and they don’t generally harass guys about their reproductive choices because sexism (vasectomies being easier to reverse is probably a factor too).
I got my vasectomy done through Planned Parenthood. I had to go in for a screening first where they asked questions like, “Are you sure you want to do this?” and I said yeah and they said, “Really sure?” and I said yeah, so they said “OK cool, come back in two weeks and we’ll snip snip.”
Very easy process, highly recommend.
When I broached the subject with my doctor he asked how many kids I have. I said 0. He seemed to have more of a personal reaction as if a friend had said that and he started to push back ever so slightly saying something like “but kids are great”. I just responded matter of factly that that shouldn’t matter. He instantly snapped out of it and back to doctor mode, apologized, and set up the referral. I was snipped inside a month with not another whisper of hesitancy from anyone.
Had mine done through the NHS. Basically two questions, “do you have children already” and “how long since your last child was born?”.
If you haven’t had kids yet, you just need to explain why you want a vasectomy, usually with a specialist. If your last child was born less than two months ago, they want you to wait (apparently a lot of men’s first reaction to the realities of having a baby is to try to ensure it won’t happen again).
Why should I have to explain my choices regarding my body? Take my money and do your job or don’t and I’ll go to someone else who will.
Because medical ethics requires some degree of confidence that you’re not making a permanent decision that you’ll regret.
Unnecessary hurdles like mandatory waiting periods, refusing to do it without someone else’s consent, or refusal to do it at all if you’re childless are wrong, but making sure someone understands the procedure and it’s consequences and that what they’re asking for is actually solving the complaint they want to solve is just being responsible.
Doctors aren’t mechanics.
That’s entirely my decision. Bodily autonomy is most important.
It is entirely your decision. It’s also their decision if they can ethically perform the procedure.
Some people read that a vasectomy can be reversed and understand that they are 100% reversible 100% of the time. If someone says they want a vasectomy so they can skip other forms of birth control until they’re ready to have kids, the doctor needs to correct their misunderstanding before they can ethically perform the procedure.
“Informed consent” requires making sure the individual is “informed”, “able to consent”, and “consenting”.
Sure, but you still need to convince someone else you are informed and educated on the risks and outcomes.
You get a handful of really bad stories, but most doctors just want to make sure they don’t have a patient knocking on their door complaining that this vasectomy thing isn’t what they wanted.
Because like it or not, it’s not the doctors job to do whatever you want no questions asked. It’s to evaluate need, desire, and risks and advise and act accordingly.
The doctor who would perform an unnecessary procedure without doing that is just as bad as the one who refuses. Maybe worse.
It doesn’t need to be necessary. It’s not their call. It’s no different from getting an abortion.
Sterilization is quite a bit different from abortion.
An abortion is a choice not to have a child. Sterilization is a choice to permanently alter your body such that you can never have children.
A doctor talking to a patient to ensure they understand a procedure and it’s consequences and that those consequences are what they want when those consequences are permanent is just responsible.
It’s entirely the patients decision, but that doesn’t mean the doctor shouldn’t confirm their intent.
That doctor would be paid by the NHS, not by you.
What’s NHS? I don’t have insurance.
NHS = National Health Service
It’s what we have in the UK, and essentially means that all your health care is free.
Vasectomy = free. Having a baby in hospital = free. CAT scan = free. Insulin = free.
Admittedly, it’s paid for in taxes, but at a small fraction of the cost of the American way of doing things.
Because sometimes its about protecting yourself from yourself.
Making sure someone wants a vasectomy because they have all the children they want is a different thing from wanting a vasectomy as a jump scare reaction to just having had a baby and oh shit oh shit, let me do something I’ll regret later.
Fully agree that doctors take precautions with procedures that are hard to reverse or potentially irreversible.
Never protect me from me.
Alright, so next time when you drunkenly stumble into a heavy traffic road, I’ll let you die
If infind you on the ground having a heart attack, I’ll just leave you to die
When you are about to eat poisonous food, I won’t warn you, go right ahead.
You “i never make mistakes!!” Guys are tiring
Can they foretell Uranus’s movements?
I’d refer you to an astronomer for that
they don’t generally harass guys
Actually most of them do.
I can’t speak for that myself but my brother said he had a very easy time with his.
Holup. Is that a penis specific doctor or is there no penis specific doctor while everyone is going around saying vagina science is way behind penis science because societal level discrimination?
Also, literally everyone I meet who hears about it gives me shit for my choice to never have kids, and I’m a guy. Just because you don’t experience it doesn’t mean guys don’t also take shit from the baby crazy people. I’m an antinatalist.
Women also have urinary tracts so no, Urologists treat both sexes. Believe it or not gynecology was very sexist in the era where only men could be doctors. The presence of a specialty does not preclude it from bias and harm.
Also saying penis specific and vagina specific is really missing the mark, it’s generally the internal stuff that is more of an issue (prostates for men, womb, ovaries and fallopian tubes for women).
Men are generally more permitted by traditional western society to pursue things outside of raising a family than women are, and as with most things personal experience can and will vary.
Gynecology probably used to be really bullshit and run by dudes who just wanted to deal with vagina for a living.
Yes on the bullshit, less on the creepy sexual part.
More a mix of people who viewed it as ensuring families are healthy and populous, and looking out for a husbands wife’s reproductive tract and keeping his wife’s vagina “good”, and making money with a speciality.
Even in the era when “manual stimulation” as a treatment for hysteria was a thing, there are consistent records of doctors loathing the procedure. Part of what inspired the creation of the vibrator.
Try harder for an erection permit.
Yes, it’s called “keep it in your pants if you want your partner to get pregnant and she doesn’t want to because abortion is illegal in a lot of states now.”
tl;dr - yes and no.
Keep it in my pants is my strategy anyhow because I’m an antinatalist and do not gamble with my ethics. There isn’t a scenario where I’m trying to impregnate someone who doesn’t want it, so don’t come at me with a chip on your shoulder like that.
I had a friend who was born despite his father’s vasectomy. I don’t care what the odds are. I don’t play with odds.
I’m guessing the odds are so slim that vasectomy plus condom is so close to impossible statistically speaking that you would be safe. I’m not trying to criticize your personal choice, which is perfectly valid.
I’d rather jerk it than bother with a condom and my cosmic tier anxiety about the universe I live in trying to peg me with a ‘gotcha’ and beating me up over failing to handle my own desire. I’ll handle it.
I had kids when I got together with my now-husband and he did too, and I had a history of literally falling pregnant each of the times I didn’t use birth control, so he was vasectomized AND I had IUD put in, together this was as good as science can do now and it worked perfectly. Vasectomy can regrow but IUD is very reliable.
I guess if sex isn’t important to you then enjoy, or if you can enjoy sex with men that would also be 100% no chance of pregnancy. But for me, it’s such a wonderful part of life, letting fear rule it seems bad.
I can’t say I’m not horny as fuck. I just deal with it. It’d be pretty convenient to be gay. 🤣
Well eventually you will get old enough that the women in your age group will be through menopause, maybe then you can get back in there.
Sounds like boning dudes is right up your (or their) alley.
That would be convenient. 🤣😭
