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@PugJesus@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.worldEnglish • 11 months ago

Basic American etiquette

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Basic American etiquette

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@PugJesus@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.worldEnglish • 11 months ago
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  • @JE2SJWMKLS@lemm.ee
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    78•11 months ago

    The gun is on the correct side of the plate for a right hand shooter, but should be laying on it’s left side so that it can be picked up from above with the right hand. </s>

    • @Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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      52•11 months ago

      Remove the /s, you are right and the commenter was ignorant of traditional American etiquette.

      • @JE2SJWMKLS@lemm.ee
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        12•11 months ago

        Can’t I be both right and sarcastic?

        • @Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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          10•11 months ago

          The best kind of sarcasm is right.

    • Fubarberry
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      21•11 months ago

      No, left side is correct for the breakfast gun.

      A gun that size isn’t actually big enough for situations where you need a gun, it’s just meant to provide cover fire while you get a bigger better gun. You’ll be using your left hand to fire the cover gun, so that your right hand is available for picking up the bigger gun. This has the additional benefit of leaving your dominant hand free to eat with.

      • @Maeve@sh.itjust.works
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        -3•11 months ago

        You can drop a grown man or big game with a .22! Take lessons or give up the gun.

    • @FireTower@lemmy.world
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      3•11 months ago

      Serial number is on the other side so it’s that way for the picture.

    • @BearOfaTime@lemm.ee
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      2•11 months ago

      Also, “lying”. “Lay” means “to recline”.

  • @grue@lemmy.world
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    59•11 months ago

    This picture is distinctly lacking in ultraprocessed sugary cereal and/or shelf-stable pastries.

    • lettruthout
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      27•11 months ago

      Yeah, plus the cholesterol medication. Bonus points if the mobility chair is within sight.

      • @sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works
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        13•11 months ago

        They’re American. They can’t afford cholesterol medication.

    • @doingthestuff@lemmy.world
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      5•11 months ago

      No I haven’t eaten cereal or processed breakfast foods in decades. Just give me the eggs, bacon, sausage, toast with lots of butter and cheese. Where the fuck is the cheese?

      • FauxPseudo
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        3•11 months ago

        Bacon is a processed food. A tasty one.

      • @childOfMagenta@lemm.ee
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        1•11 months ago

        In a spray can somewhere

        • @doingthestuff@lemmy.world
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          4•11 months ago

          Don’t go talking like that near Wisconsin.

    • @TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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      3•11 months ago

      Well according to commercials from the 80s when I was a kid that’s part of a balanced breakfast.

    • @spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works
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      2•11 months ago

      Shelf-stable pastries just never stops being an alarming phrase

  • The Assman
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    55•
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    11 months ago

    One egg!? I’m sorry is this the USSR?

    • @MintyAnt@lemmy.world
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      11•11 months ago

      On its own single egg plate. So fancy

      • The Assman
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        9•11 months ago

        A real American would put the multiple eggs on top of the bacon

    • @uis@lemm.ee
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      10•11 months ago

      Close, but no, this is USSA. You missed by 4 kilometers.

      • mistrgamin
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        7•11 months ago

        Kilomet-🤢

        • @uis@lemm.ee
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          4•11 months ago

          For all times, for all people

      • @Freefall@lemmy.world
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        3•11 months ago

        Oh, wow! I am using that in political chats, given our current political climate.

      • @PlainSimpleGarak@lemm.ee
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        2•11 months ago

        Can you translate that to freedom units 💪?

    • themeatbridge
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      7•
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      11 months ago

      No, this is clearly someone originally from Quebec. Because there, one egg is un ouef.

    • @Persen@lemmy.world
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      4•11 months ago

      You mean USSA? Well the corruption is comparable.

      • @uis@lemm.ee
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        1•11 months ago

        You mean beaurocracy and nepotism? Because in USSR there were no traditional corruption because having money was not enough to get anything you want. Usually there was problem of not having enough stuff to spend money on.

    • @PlainSimpleGarak@lemm.ee
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      3•11 months ago

      AuthLeft: be fortunate you get the one egg

    • @MissJinx@lemmy.world
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      3•11 months ago

      Not Our egg!

  • @I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world
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    24•11 months ago

    It used to be, but at this point in history, that’s like $300 worth of bacon.

    • @Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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      9•11 months ago

      From experience that is about $20-30.

      • modifier
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        15•11 months ago

        Only one way to resolve this dispute: gentlemen, to your respective breakfast guns.

        • @Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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          7•11 months ago

          Ok, but can’t we just cook $300 worth of bacon and find out who is right and have enough bacon to stop my heart instead?

  • @cm0002@lemmy.world
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    23•11 months ago

    Wait … I worry what you heard was, 'Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. ’ What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have ~ Ron Swanson

    • themeatbridge
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      2•11 months ago

      Ron, holding two cartons of eggs: “Is this all the eggs we have?”

      Donna: “Yes. What are you making?”

      Ron: “Eggs.”

  • @Freefall@lemmy.world
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    21•
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    11 months ago

    Ok, first off…I usually have two eggs.

    Second, it is with my Sig p365

    So…checkmate!

    • TheLowestStone
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      5•11 months ago

      Also, there’s only one starch. We have potatoes with our toast.

    • @BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world
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      2•11 months ago

      I think it’s a 226?

    • FauxPseudo
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      2•11 months ago

      Three eggs. But yes. Sig P365.

  • @spizzat2@lemm.ee
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    16•11 months ago

    Fork goes on the left; each has four letters.

    Spoon and knife go on the right; each has five letters.

    Gun goes… on top?

    • @Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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      12•11 months ago

      Gun goes on hip so that you don’t need to train on drawing while eating breakfast separately from training on drawing while doing anything else while sitting.

    • @ikidd@lemmy.world
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      2•11 months ago

      Gun goes on lap so when someone sits across from you and gets mouthy, you can shoot them in the dick.

  • andrew_bidlaw
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    13•11 months ago

    That’s the ceremonical gun, the actual one is under the belt pointing at the owner’s testicles.

    • @Sasquatch@lemmy.ml
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      5•11 months ago

      Safety off. Only protection is the hefty FUPA obscuring the weapon from sight

      • @doingthestuff@lemmy.world
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        1•11 months ago

        Have you seen the trigger “safety” on a Glock? Yeah I don’t have a safety on any of the guns I carry. Only one of them is a Glock, but that’s the closest to a safety any of them have.

  • @Nobody@lemmy.world
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    12•11 months ago

    At the conclusion of a satisfying meal, Americans are expected to fire their Breakfast Guns into the air in the parking lot. It’s considered courteous, and it signals to others where a good breakfast can be found.

  • @Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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    11•11 months ago

    Close. I keep a little league aluminum baseball bat handy for those rude individuals that like to interrupt my peaceful breakfast.

    • dream_weasel
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      8•11 months ago

      This is why I have a suppressor on my breakfast gun

    • @PugJesus@lemmy.worldOP
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      5•11 months ago

      Si vis pacem, para baseball bat

      • @Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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        3•11 months ago

        Muy verdades

  • dream_weasel
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    10•11 months ago

    Uh… Why is there only one egg?

    • @Etterra@lemmy.world
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      4•11 months ago

      It’s a light breakfast. It’d be a skillet if it was a full breakfast, with a stack of pancakes if it was a Sunday.

  • Chemical Wonka
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    9•11 months ago

    Where is the fucking cheese and Coca Cola?

    • @dufkm@lemmy.world
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      1•11 months ago

      That cheese sounds interesting, where would I find it?

  • @riskey@lemmy.world
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    7•11 months ago

    No donut?

  • @snooggums@midwest.social
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    7•11 months ago

    Not enough bacon.

  • @gmtom@lemmy.world
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    6•11 months ago

    Everything should be coated in maple syrup too.

    • @Emerald@lemmy.world
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      2•11 months ago

      Idk. Seems a lot of people here use cane syrup, which I don’t really think has any flavor at all

      • @MojoMcJojo@lemmy.world
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        3•11 months ago

        Corn syrup!

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