Like usually every minute I’d quickly look around to make sure there aren’t weirdos following me.
For context: I’m a young-adult male, but I don’t exactly have training in martial arts or anything, so I’m every time I see anyone that looks “tough” I don’t feel safe.
When I was a kid, my parents told me the usual “stranger danger” talk. Also in movies and tv, there are usualy a lot of plot involving peoppe getting followed, and the victim never looks back. In crime stories, and in the news, people usually become a victim if a bad person follows them home.
So when I went to school as a kid/teen, I’d always be scanning my surroundings like very often, especially when nearing home, I’d be like looking around every 20 seconds to see if there’s weirdos following.
Even as a young adult, I kinda still have this instinct. I mean, we hear about crime everywhere. I don’t exactly live in a “slum”, but I live in a big city, and more people generally means more crime, and statistically, crime is sort of an issue where I live, I mean, it’a a city, you know how it is. This is in the US btw.
I don’t carry a gun, don’t wanna have intrusive thoughts about killing myself so I don’t want that, so I carry pepper spray just in case.
I mean, I’m probably not gonna change my behavior, I think its good to be cautious, this question is just me trying to see if there’s anyone else out there think thinks like me.
As a woman, constantly
As a woman, you should.
You shouldn’t have to, either.
Nah save your energy. You’ll almost certainly know your rapist and it’ll be in private.
Statistically, yes. 90% known means that 1 in 10 rapes are by strangers.
I would not play Russian Roulette even if the revolver had 10 cylinders.
Nah. Freaking out over low risk events is called anxiety.
Very very few people are just raped on the street.
Its not anxiety to be situationally aware as a woman.
1 in 5 women have been victims of attempted or completed rape. 10% are by strangers, so 1 in 50 women in the US have been raped by strangers. There are 167.84 million females in the US. That means 3.34 million women in the US have been raped by strangers.
Your definition of “very very few” is much different than mine.
So well well under 1% and of those occurrences you still haven’t accounted for walking home on a street. 👌👍
As a big, scary-looking dude, I hate going out in public because I know I freak solitary women out. I feel like I should wear a shirt that says “I apologize for being here,” or something. I’m sorry the world is this way. Y’all deserve peace and security.
Is there anything people like me can do to assure those around us that we are not the ones to fear? Like, is there a tattoo I can get or a hat I can wear or something? I wish rapers and miscreants had a distinctive look that us regular folk could avoid.
Of course, I currently look like Harry Henderson with a septum piercing, so I guess probably a shave could help, but I really like my beard. It’s my security blankie :-[
The “alt” style helps a lot, actually (ime). I trust metal head-looking dudes over frat boy-looking dudes 1000% but that’s anecdotal
Honestly nail polish too. Cis men are usually too afraid to wear any, so when they do it’s often a good sign. Bonus points if it isn’t black
Hell yeah, nice. That makes me feel a little better.
Just ignore us. Consistent eye contact, staring, or obviously paying a lot of unwarranted attention to us is way more threatening than just being big or burly.
So you mean I have to act like a normal human being? Fuck. I’m too curious and autistic for that. Are you sure there’s not a hat I can wear?
There’s a hat for the opposite of this. This isn’t fair.
(Mostly joking)
I usually make a point to take off my hood if I have one on, and generally lift my head and maybe give them a nod/smile, or otherwise indicate that “I’ve seen you, and I’m letting you see my face clearly”. If we’re alone in a dark, empty place at night, I’ll also make a point to cross the street away from them.
I’ve talked to some women about how they prefer men to act, and they generally said they think what I do is decent. Of course, that’s reliant on the whole “make eye-contact, nod, smile, and wave”-thing being done in a disarming and “I’m friendly and I see you, and I’m going to mind my own business”-way, and not a creepy way.