Ripping off a post I just saw in the Isaac Arthur subreddit. Imagining we work out the technical ability. Examples they suggested were:
- No periods
- No balding
- No nausea
- No body odor
- Resistance to obesity and muscle wasting
Redesign the spine for vertical use. Don’t put the eating and breathing tubes on either side of the same flap.
We should have tons of little breathing holes all over.
Imagine if no one snored?
While you can create spiracles that repel polar substances like water, you cannot protect them against surfactant like soap. No more showers unless you want to drown.
So you’re saying I can kill a fly with some soap spray.
Wasps too? Those fuckers.
You can waterboard them with it. If you want to effectively kill them, I’d recommend using the tried and true neurotoxin option sold at your local grocery store. You can be your own Saddam Hussein without having to hide in the most random places after committing your war crimes.
Wasps, definitely, and it does basically suffocate them. We use a water, dish soap, and peppermint mix on paper wasp nests that form in our eaves.
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Yes, food hole and air hole should be separate
Ability to regrow lost teeth
*if teeth are in a regular position.
Just as long as I don’t grow my wisdom teeth back. I don’t want to have to have those removed again.
How about repeated full replacement every 5-10 years?
I love the idea of adults with loose teeth as their tenth set of teeth comes in.
Sorry my performance has been below average lately, boss, I’m just getting my 8th set of teeth.
“Hey, go easy on Jim, he’s teething this week.”
Door-string sale in aisle 8. Shoppers, stock up!
I don’t know. That could become tiresome.
Had one lower molar pulled recently 🥹
Ability to go to sleep when sleep should be gone to.
Or the ability to forgo sleep indefinitely. I’ve got too much shit I want to do and too little time.
Let’s apply RPG sleep rules.
You can go for weeks without sleep, but when you do sleep, you awaken fully healed.
Got a feeling this would lead to 16 hour work days. And fuuuuuuuck that.
Nothing beats the feeling of waking up after a good sleep.
How about, you only need naps and you always wake up feeling refreshed.
AND ONLY DREAM ABOUT PUPPIES AND SUNSHINE!
Body hair is now opt-in
Location specific.
I wanna be a chewbacca.
Ohhh, Lumpawarrumpppp!
Yes! With the ability change your mind please!
Just one universal blood type please
Hair and nails not constantly growing
Your body not over reacting to things (allergies and auto immune)
Hunger annoys me.
Like, yo, tummy: I have not failed to feed you in over 30 years. Maybe don’t cause me physical pain and nausea? A simple grumble is fine until it gets actually serious, ok?
goes a few hours without eating
Tummy: panik
A simple grumble would be perfect. Sometimes I get really hungry annoyingly quickly, and other times I don’t get hungry and go way too long before remembering to eat. It’d be really great if I could just program my body to just give me a lil popup reminder after a certain number of hours.
Sometimes strokes can destroy the area of the brain that controls hunger. They require alarms to consistently eat, sleep, etc. I remember one story about a guy who put all these alarms on his watch. One day, his watch runs out of batteries, so his alarms stop completely. A couple days later, he calls the hospital because he couldn’t get out of bed. Turns out he hadn’t eaten anything the whole time. In short, you’ll probably forget to eat without any signal you have to.
Right? Im very cool with rhe whole balding thing but for fuck sake can I not be Chewbacca walking carpet from the neck down?
So you want hair and nails to grow consciously?
Like if I want to grow my hair out, I need to actively concentrate on it for a year? Or can I grunt out a moustache like a cartoon? Both are problematic.
Let’s put a cap on how much excess energy the body can store as fat. Sure, some amount is fine and has a number of uses, but just let me poop some excess calories out. I’d only need more if I were to hibernate.
Thinking on it, I want to hibernate too, please.
While we’re at it from animals, how about upping some of our regeneration? Teeth don’t regrow? Naw, constant regen please. I get too big of a cut and I get a scar? Let’s let everything regrow from being lost if you can survive without it. Also why doesn’t the brain heal? Most important part of the body and each crack’s there for life. Let me get my serotonin back already, slacker.
Also what’s with this getting assigned a gender thing? You don’t even get to know what it means before you have one! And then we build society as if this coin flip was the seed to the tree of life. Let people choose and switch naturally, please and thank you.
- Separate holes for eating and breathing
- Separate sewage system from entertainment complex
- Remove mental health disorders
- Improved empathy
Good day, are you talking about urine sewage system and/or anal intercourse?
How about a system which fully harvests nutrients, then compresses waste into smooth, solid, compact, sterile pellets which leave no residue and don’t smell bad?
I disagree - one hole for everything. Just imagine how many less medical clinics you need to go to.
Yes, I’m American.
The spine
FIX THE SPINE
Yeah, upgrade the spinal column with a duranium/cordonite alloy, similar to data.
This should be #1
No more biting down on my tongue or cheeks when eating. Most annoying glitch ever.
Omg yes this absolutely. I eat to nourish myself and survive and am punished randomly by self-inflicted mouth wound that lasts for days/weeks => evolutionary failure at its finest.
Insult to injury when the food is actually something healthy like a salad instead of fries.
The breathing hole and the eating hole are separated
More holes, you say?
Everyone gets really thick necks.
Half of taste is in our nose though so I don’t want to lose out on that
No more cancer please.
there’s almost a vaccine for that
You can not have a cure for cancer, but a cancer. I promise I am not trying to be pedantic here. Cancers are so different from one another, that a single cure for breast cancer might not even work on all breast cancer.
“is curing patients a viable business model?”
Nop, preventing them from dying is though.
This is so fucked up but yeah I can see them settling for research on a drug or treatment that just keeps you from reaching Stage 4 to where you become a lifelong consumer of said medical company.
Very short mating season. The amount of people is too god damned high.
Or just have a built in birth control switch that has zero side effects. Of course, it would have to be entirely controlled by the individual so as not to turn into some dystopian population control mechanism.
Pon farr!
OK, but only if it’s like May or June. No one needs that shit in February.
Fix our spine and knees
Appetite is 100% linked to calories needed. You still enjoy food, but the moment you swallow enough calories for whatever you did since the last time you ate, you have zero appetite and anything put in front of you loses all appeal.
Terrible for survival situations, great for modern life where an abundance of food is a bigger problem than a scarcity.
My appetite is at least 90% based on calories needed, since I was around 25, I 'm over 50 now. My kids laugh at me when I sometimes say I’m still full 6 hours after eating, but sometimes I am. Or eat, then eat ten minutes later. And usually I stay at the same weight unless intentionally bulking or cutting.
One exception - I lose appetite when stressed, and rarely but but sometimes have anxiety around eating still. But most of the time, my appetite just follows my calorie expenditure. Can’t be the only person like that, it seems a normal state?
No, you are fortunate. I’m always hungry, I have to consciously resist the urge to eat constantly.
I am sorry, that sounds dreadful. Always you have had hunger? Eating does not cause satiation? I also can feel empty without being hungry sometimes, it’s honestly a good feeling and best state to fall asleep.
Yes the tuned appetite should be universal.
In the interest of full disclosure - I did reach it coming out of anorexia so not overweight but underweight, but it has settled out to keep me at a healthy size as an adult. Except for a few very stressful years in my early 40s I lost some but bounced back. I think more people, at least in the US, are coming from the other side and I don’t have experience with that.
Always. Haven’t always been overweight though, that started in my late 20s. When I was young, I could eat nonstop and stayed skinny mostly because I was riding a bicycle nearly every waking moment.
