"At press time, the Israeli Defense Forces Twitter account underscored the massive surge of contempt they were contending with by posting a video that featured the shocking savagery of a Palestinian corpse that refused to condemn Hamas even when kicked. "
😐🤣
At press time, Danforth expressed confidence that a diplomatic resolution could be reached that would permit Gaza’s collapsed healthcare system to kill the Palestinians instead of war.
Damn, they are on point!
most significantly, it could hurt our quarterly revenue, which is the worst tragedy imaginable.
Here lies the root of the issue, we’ve simply reached the logical conclusion of a greed based economic system.
[…] some believe it is the responsibility of a newspaper of record like The Onion to delve fully into the nuances of a complex and multifaceted conflict that stretches back not just decades but centuries. These people are wrong.
LMFAO
The whole thing is great.
“What of the tens of thousands of Palestinian civilians killed before this attack?” some may ask. Our response is simply that we aren’t going to engage with that because it would be too hard. We also won’t be addressing Palestinians living in refugee camps without access to clean water, electricity, or housing. Others may ask, “Isn’t it your responsibility to provide context, particularly on thorny issues such as this one?” To that, we merely say: No, shut up. You’re being annoying.
The Onion’s 9/11 coverage was incredible to behold. “Hijackers surprised to find themselves in Hell” was just brilliant.
I was living in lower Manhattan when that happened. Seeing that onion issue was the first time I laughed after the fact
Why? First, because this editorial board doesn’t like getting yelled at. Second, there are going to be way fewer people with way less power mad at us.
Not untrue.
The onion never misses
Holy shit the Onion had a massacre
Ted Kaczynsky’s (Unabomber’s) signature among the editorial staff is a nice touch.
Called the President a terrorist
Corporate sponsors like, ‘how the fuck you gonna embarrass us?’
Ain’t my fault, I was just repeating this professor emeritus from America
But my tone was like
An Afghani kid without a home, blew that bitch up with a drone
An Iraqi with no daddy, Palestinian throwing stones
The fuck you think they call him?
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