Find something you enjoy and do it. You find the gym boring, so don’t use that as a metric. Just like don’t use any other “norm” as a metric. You have to find what you personally enjoy.

i’d like to go out more but many of my friends are always busy or just out of reach, and i live a bit far from the city so i can’t just “take a walk”, because i’d have nowhere to go and for a big portion of the road near my house there is no sidewalks at all.

A lot of stuff is like this where what your life is like is about your circumstances more than it is about anything being wrong with you. The problem with thinking about your self worth only in terms of the end result of achievements and success is that it’s disconnected from reality, because it’s only looking at results and comparisons to people with different circumstances. It’s better to think about what choices you realistically have and whether you are making the best ones you can given what you have to work with, because in the end you’re only human and that is all you can do. Put yourself in the most favorable circumstances you can for what you actually want your life to be like, make the best choices you can, congratulate yourself if you’ve done that.

leave the ml community it is a really unhealthy cult with a set of beliefs that can only harm you

You can speak 3 languages? That’s awesome! I’m jelouse at those who can view so Mich more of the world than me. (As soon as a sign or a poster isn’t in English, I’ll be lost)

First of all: you’re not a loser.
I want that out of the way, because it’s an unhealthy and unproductive way of thinking.

Could you be a better version of yourself?
Yes. But so could everybody else in the entire world, and it is what the people you envy/look up to work towards every day.
The thing is that very few people are good at everything. Most are good at a few, and we humans tend to want to excell at things and compare ourselves to the people we know who are better than us.

You probably, and very normally I might add, compare yourself to Mike on guitar, John on physical form, Jessica on career and Brian on maturity, and then feel down. The problem is, that they are better at these things than you are, but not everything else.

So since you asked for it, I’ll give you my advice: Stop comparing yourself to the peak of others, and try turning it into admiration for what they have achieved. And let them know they inspire you!
Then start focusing on one thing: being at least as good as yourself yesterday/last week/last month.

You know more, are more mature, lost weight (congrats!), so you’re gaining points by just existing.
And force yourself to do stuff. Go swim again. Alone if you must. Go see a movie alone. Get comfortable in the uncomfortable.

Right now you are your worst enemy, while you should be your own biggest fan. That comes from confidence and experience in pushing yourself to actually live life.

And let yourself have days where you watch Youtube. That doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you human.

Good luck!

Stop looking at social media every minute. It is brutal.

You already seem to be doing more than most people. In terms of the gym. You already spend countless just watching a screen, have you tried doing the same but being on a bike? At least you’d be making better use out of that time. Trying to trick your brain is usually a good way for me to start on things.

Do things with people, whether it’s volunteering, a social group, whatever. Very few of us are happy without at least some social interaction, and sense of community.

Maybe for you that means to speak the languages you’re learning with other people, or join a discussion group for a topic you’re studying. But having the things you do personally anchored in a shared social reality adds a human element that studying more things and doing independent things that are academically good for you just can’t.

omg you’re gonna be quadlingual? and you made it through a diet?? you go!

Put a time limit on your apps. 2 hours of YouTube per day and then no more type of limit. Make sure you have stuff to do so you can pivot off the phone. Then reduce the time but by bit.

It sucks but phone/tv addiction is real.

Look back at what you’ve achieved and stop comparing to your future that hasn’t arrived. You have achieved and are achieving so you are definitely not a loser. Keep setting goals and keep working towards them. Reward yourself as you attain them. Any self improvement time that takes you off of social media will help your outlook.

Sorry you’re feeling this way. Something almost everybody struggles with is comparing yourself to others. I’d think about how past you might feel about you today after health and educational goals. Nice job! You should be proud of yourself.

Next, think about what makes somebody a loser and if you were evaluating somebody else in your exact same position would you think they’re a loser? There are two pieces here:

1. If you don’t think they’re a loser, why do you think you are?
2. Who are you or anybody else to judge who is a loser?

Lastly, there is no reason why you should not be setting goals for yourself for the things that you feel you are falling behind on (e.g. learning an instrument), but ask yourself why you haven’t taken your friend up on their offer to borrow the guitar? Is it because you really don’t want to play guitar and just think it’s something non-losers do? Maybe something else or a bit of both.

A. You’re not a loser
B. Don’t compare yourself to others
C. If you want to do something, do it, and if you don’t stick with it, figure out why not.

Good luck! You’re a rockstar!