I always thought this was a fun topic. What power would you choose?
Stop any confrontation by yelling “enough!”
Side effect: your voice cracks in an absurd way every time you use this power. Both parties find it too funny to continue fighting. They instead laugh at you.
It gets the job done
The power to stop/start time at will while still able to move & interact with stuff
What’s funny is that the most obvious side effect to this is the most realistic: molecular manipulation in this way causes an incredible build-up of energy that either expresses as kinetic or thermal, depending, and almost always exponentially explosive from the moment you turn time back “on”… to say nothing of the disastrous effects at the fringes for such time-stop powers…
tl;dr: The Flash would’ve incinerated the entire planet long before he discovered how to keep from glassing it simply by practicing his powers.
The power of anti-cheeto dust fingers.
You were born without fingertips and can’t do biometric scanning. No one will give you a passport.
Not to be that guy, but one can still get a passport without finger tips, or arms for that matter.
Yeah I didn’t need my fingerprints scanned at all for a passport. Just my picture.
Not to be that guy, but your butthole has a print just as unique as a fingerprint.
No one will give you a passport.
Damn, you really hate him don’t you?
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Immunity to internet-reply-based side effects
But Everyone loves you. Oh… wait…
The ability to speak and translate between any languages
Now you can also speak and translate the languages of the trees and the rocks and the inanimate objects all around you and you have no way to get them to shut up.
First human being to get ghosted by the earth; I can live with that honor
The power to manifest any desired food in any quantity
It’s all rotten.
Which sounds really bad but then you can basically replace all of the fertilizer in the world and will solve the nitrogen runoff problem for all of the planet for your entire life.
It manifests as a storm cloud, raining the food down over a large area over a short period of time.
I’ve seen that movie
How bout the power… to move you.
Omnipotence!
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The joke is on you. I’m already impotent!
You have no power here
You have the power to make people instantly be extremely hungry
Side effect: you have a premonition of exactly what their bowel movement will smell like as a result of whatever they eat due to their hunger
When using your power you get uncontrollable diarrhea
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You keep your original face.
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You feel it, and it hurts as much as you’d imagine rearranging bones should hurt.
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You can shift the shape of your body, but nothing else. Your skin and all surface stuff stays the same.
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The power to control gravity at the atomic and cosmic scale
You already do, just a very tiny amount.
I’ll go first. The power to always know a person’s next move.
First commentor missed the Cassandra side effect: you can do nothing to change it and no one believes you.
You can see a person’s next move at the expense of generating negative causality, wherein large objects are attracted to you at high speed. See the man unwrapping a sandwich? Boom, hit by a bus/piano/anvil/whale.
Side effect: you’re never prepared for the move they will be making next.
Free frogurt with your choice of toppings.
Potassium Benzoate
The power to choose my own side effect
I have a big dick.
You have a way way too big of a dick
I can summon whatever food and drink I want in the moment
