I used to think so too. Then I had a properly abusive partner. Mentally, physically, financially. I’ve since come to realize that being in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship is not worth it. And that you need to find meaning in your life BEFORE you can be happy in a relationship.
To be frank, I need to experience a bad relationship that lasts longer than a week and that isn’t just a hook up situation. I need the bad experience.
Hmm, perhaps you’re right. Just try to remember that good relationships can exist too, even if you run into several bad ones. Otherwise the bad will consume you.
I used to think so too. Then I had a properly abusive partner. Mentally, physically, financially.
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you are doing better.
I’ve since come to realize that being in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship is not worth it. And that you need to find meaning in your life BEFORE you can be happy in a relationship.
I don’t believe in a meaning in the first place. Just experiences & seeking contentment.
Also, I have plenty of things I’m into, but I tend to hyper focus on projects. And if I’m focused on something other than seeking a relationship, I seem to be incredibly bad at picking up signals and chances.
Now that I’m hyper fixated on the dating/hook-up/relationship hunt, I notice I’m excellent at it. I’m just kind of miserable doing anything else that I previously enjoyed because I normally enjoy a lot of solo activities and my brain is constantly haunting me with “Shouldn’t you be out looking for a partner?” constantly.
Its not so much that I need a partner to be whole, its that I need a steady partner so I can close out this “project” of mine. I may end up closing it out with a fail state eventually, and I’ll be upset but I’ll be able to live with that because at least I tried. There is a sort of soft end point in mind.
Hmm, perhaps you’re right. Just try to remember that good relationships can exist too, even if you run into several bad ones. Otherwise the bad will consume you.
I’m poly/ENM, don’t believe in “destined love” or Victorian/classic romance, and value my sovereignty a lot. I’m not seeking to own someone or have them own me. I’m simply seeking deep and long lasting love. I’m what you could describe as “Theriromantic” or “Paleoromantic” but those are not terms unfortunately. There is a very low risk of a bad relationship consuming me to the point that I risk being stuck in one.
I used to think so too. Then I had a properly abusive partner. Mentally, physically, financially. I’ve since come to realize that being in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship is not worth it. And that you need to find meaning in your life BEFORE you can be happy in a relationship.
Hmm, perhaps you’re right. Just try to remember that good relationships can exist too, even if you run into several bad ones. Otherwise the bad will consume you.
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you are doing better.
I don’t believe in a meaning in the first place. Just experiences & seeking contentment.
Also, I have plenty of things I’m into, but I tend to hyper focus on projects. And if I’m focused on something other than seeking a relationship, I seem to be incredibly bad at picking up signals and chances.
Now that I’m hyper fixated on the dating/hook-up/relationship hunt, I notice I’m excellent at it. I’m just kind of miserable doing anything else that I previously enjoyed because I normally enjoy a lot of solo activities and my brain is constantly haunting me with “Shouldn’t you be out looking for a partner?” constantly.
Its not so much that I need a partner to be whole, its that I need a steady partner so I can close out this “project” of mine. I may end up closing it out with a fail state eventually, and I’ll be upset but I’ll be able to live with that because at least I tried. There is a sort of soft end point in mind.
I’m poly/ENM, don’t believe in “destined love” or Victorian/classic romance, and value my sovereignty a lot. I’m not seeking to own someone or have them own me. I’m simply seeking deep and long lasting love. I’m what you could describe as “Theriromantic” or “Paleoromantic” but those are not terms unfortunately. There is a very low risk of a bad relationship consuming me to the point that I risk being stuck in one.