Let’s say a man decides to change his last name for no other reason than he hates his dad’s last name, and that dad refuses to call his son by his new last name. Then, in my opinion, his son should be 100% allowed to call him any mean name or slur he wants—‘dick,’ ‘shithead,’ the R slur, whatever. You shouldn’t get to disrespect people and expect respect back, so if this person gets called a slut and gets mad, I really can’t feel sympathy for him.
This is less of a shower thought and more of a “I went into the shower pissed off, and come out still pissed off to write about it” kinda post.
Not saying the point isn’t valid, just that is doesn’t match what shower thoughts is about… but that is just my opinion.
Did you happen to change your name?
Grim out here just advertising his alternate accounts now
Sad, when trolls begin to spiral.
I think that only escalates the conflict minimising the probability of a resolve dramatically…
I think what you two need is long honest talk where both parties give their best listening and trying to understand each others feelings and beliefs.
The best method to achieve this is different for any relationship, for some it together at a dire with some beers, for some it is hiking etc. Basically a place where both feel secure and have their privacy together.
Changing your name in order to disassociate yourself from someone (especially to a name from a TV show you have no connection to) is also disrespectful, does your argument work both ways?
Hey OP, I found your Dad’s account
Nothing is disrespectful in wanting to change a name to no longer be associated with a toxic person, for example.
It is still disrespectful, I’m not saying that disrespect isn’t justified. My original comment was pointing out the cycle of disrespect caused by OP’s position.
Changing your name in order to disassociate yourself from someone (especially to a name from a TV show you have no connection to) is also disrespectful
How is that “disrespectful”? In what way is that “disrespectful”? And if someone is a big fan of Iron man hates his current last name and wants to change it to “Stark” why shouldn’t he.
How is it not? If you change your name to specifically distance yourself from someone then that is a sign that you don’t respect that person.
Maybe you really don’t respect someone and want to show it, that’s fine. It’s ok to not respect a person if you find them unworthy of respect.
There are several valid reasons to change your name, wanting to disassociate yourself from someone is completely valid. For example, Austrian composer Thomas Wanker changed his name to Wander, more for practical reasons.
I disagree with your thought path.
A person changing his name to disconnect from a family name isn’t a direct disrespect to the family name. It is an individual choosing direct respect for himself. Family is dynamic. Blood doesn’t automatically mean family.
This is similar to the arguments about respecting another person’s religious decision.
Your religious decisions can sway any decisions that you choose to make about your life. Your religious decisions will not hold away over any decisions that I make about my life.
I’m not saying it’s disrespecting the family name, I’m saying it’s disrespecting his father specifically, and that’s fine.
I think the religious opinion analogy is slightly different, this is someone who:
- Has a name that has an association to another person.
- They don’t like the other person.
- They want to change the name to remove the association.
That is a valid thing to do, but it is directly disrespectful to the other person because it directly expresses the fact that they don’t like them.
It is fine to not respect people based on their choices and behaviour. It is fine to express disrespect to people you don’t respect.
