Why or why not?
If so, would it depend on how they present or their assigned gender at birtb or something else?
(Edit: fixed AGAB to confuse less people. Sorry people.)
No. I am very much a CIS only kind of guy. Now would I abuse them or be mean? No. But sexual attraction is all about preferences. As a black guy here, will I be offended because some women do not want to date a black man? No. Their preference. Same here.
Does the reason why they don’t want to date a black man matters?
Yes and no.
How so? Could you give some examples of reasons that would and reasons that wouldn’t matter? I’m not sure what these would be, but something tells me that we might find the reason for someone’s preference against NB might be similarly important as someone’s preference to not date a black man 🤔
Depends if they have a pussy. In general most non-binary people I’ve met haven’t been particularly androgynous. Which is one of the reasons they confuse me.
But yeah if they’ve got the body type I enjoy and a good personality then sure. No way I could make a universal statement though.
Yep. There’s a general confusion between gender identity and gender expression, that’s why you “expect” non-binary to look androgynous. But indeed, a nonbinary can have a cisman-passing or a ciswoman-passing. I am non-binary and I “look like a man” and it causes me to be insulted or mocked when I go out with makeup or wearing a skirt.
But yeah basically all you need to understand is that gender identity does not have to match a gender expression.
Ok apparently I’m more ignorant than I thought lol thanks for explaining.
Probably not, because I’m generally not attracted to biological males as they usually don’t have the physical attributes I find attractive. Sure, feminine attributes can be achieved through surgery, drugs and makeup, but I’d prefer a natural woman and since there is that choice, that’s what I’d prefer.
Before you get upset, know that this is my honest opinion. I’ll respect you however you identify and will happily hang out with anyone. And I’m sure i’d find some non-binary folk physically attractive, but as I have a choice and I’m a cis hetro then that’s my answer.
no idea why someone would get upset about that, but clearly someone already did. you don’t have to be attracted to everyone, preferences are allowed. if you were asexual, would everyone get mad?
Probably not, just because I don’t think I can really relate to that identity. If I’m being honest, I just don’t really understand it. It seems more like a cultural phenomenon to me than a real identity that is based on some biological reality, even if just in the brain. I’m not saying I don’t think a brain biology couldn’t produce something like that, but it seems much more likely to be the product of cultural factors than that to me.
Addendum: Plus, I honestly find it hard to use gender neutral or gender-sex unaligned pronouns if the person still looks like their biological sex. I don’t think I’d want to deal with using gender neutral pronouns with a partner that looks female, and being straight, I probably wouldn’t be attracted to an androgynous or male-looking person.
though have you considered that hiding such identity has been product of cultural factors?
Oh, sure. But if that was the case, I would expect to see evidence of it cropping up throughout history, like we see with homosexuality and transsexuality. Maybe there is evidence and I’m just ignorant, but it hasn’t been pointed out to me if that’s the case.
It might also be, that the multitude of different sexualities is result of people being able to think about that stuff without worrying constantly they will be hunted down for it. Even though things are still not exactly optimal, society has become safe enough for more complex behaviour to emerge. So on second thought, maybe its indeed product of cultural factors 🤔
Personally, i have always thought i’m 100% straight, but after discussing about things with a friend and after starting to feel I shed last of the things suppressing me, I think i might be only 90% ±9% straight. I think if we could completely remove all suppression of thought, every human would deviate at least a little from binaric gender system. I also think it would improve mental health a lot too and it would lessen the amount of people who want to hurt other people for being different. Probably everyone who preaches how homosexuality is a sin is secretly non-straight, but they just suppress it so badly it drives them to insanity of hurting others.
That’s a nice line of thinking but it ignores the fact that it adds layers of complexity to life that aren’t necessarily beneficial. What has this 100% to 90-99% straight identification really added to your life vs. how much cognitive power it’s cost you to achieve it?
This is what I meant about us not having observed gender-neutral identification appearing throughout history. Sure, it may be a nuanced idea to gender identity, but what’s it really worth? If it was worth much, I would think we’d see examples of it poke through the prejudices of society throughout history. I just don’t see that.
Likewise, if it was really biologically driven, I would think it couldn’t be fully suppressed by societal norms, just like homosexuality and transsexuality. The fact that it doesn’t seem to be so strong a trait leaves me thinking it’s a cultural phenomenon. That doesn’t make it invalid or useless, but it certainly does make it less important than traits that are indelible enough to overcome cultural factors.
Honestly, I’m really not convinced it’s just a cultural fad, which may reflect a gradient on the gender spectrum, but is more like the tapers of the two spikes that represent male/female identification, rather than some vast valley of gender-in-betweenism that deserves broad acknowledgement.
it means i might be open to relationship with same gender as myself or other experiences. It also means i can better relate to other people in similar position. But how can you evaluate what is necessarily beneficial to others or how much bother things have caused for them?
But ultimately, what does it even matter what people think about their gender? its their own business. It still falls down to people either liking eachother or not. Only thing added is expectation of respecting what other person thinks about themselves, which also serves as a filter for people one wouldnt want to associate with anyway.
To be fair, I don’t think I would date someone whose whole personality is just their gender…
Aside from that - depends who they are, how they behave etc.
I had an on-again-off-again thing with an AFAB person who identified as non-binary for the latter part of that time. Still had a vagina, still enjoyed PIV, still had a body I found attractive, so whatever. Only real difficulty was cutting gendered language out of dirty talk, especially with them being a sub.
Admittedly, I’m kind of a gender-abolitionist anyway. Biological sex I get, I like putting my penis in a vagina. Body-type aesthetic preferences I get, but those are pretty individual in the first place: some people like tits, some like ass, some like skinny, some like thick, some like short, some like tall; there are plenty of women I don’t find attractive but others do, and vice versa. But outside that, gender just seems socially regressive. So long as I am sexually attracted to you and you like having sex roughly the same way I do, the rest is just personality.
I’m sincerely not sure how social gender would affect my relationship.
Within reason, yes. Not looking for anything complicated.
I don’t know why it would matter? If I’m attracted to them and they’re nice to me there’s no reason not to
I like to think that i don’t really care what labels are in place as long as we’re compatible in the myriad of relevant departments.
However, my thought remains largely untested**Technically i have briefly dated a person who fluctuated between woman and NB, but idk if i count it for reasons that are my own.
I’m married to a non binary person.
I wouldn’t rule it out. Would really depend on the person.
I’m gynesexual but like tomboys, so yes.
I’m aromantic so perhaps my view of “dating” doesn’t fit. And, before I say anything else I should preface that the sexual preferences of a random internet stranger (me) should not be taken as indicative of universal self worth or appeal. You are valid regardless of the opinions/proclivities of others, especially random internet strangers like me lol
Anyway, I am kind of on the ace spectrum. I’ve only really been with cis women and with them I’m just indifferent to sex. I thought it would be the same for men despite not feeling any attraction whatsoever towards them, so I decided to experiment.
Turns out I was quite wrong and I am actually viscerally repulsed by both men and male genitalia. I can’t just power through the grossness like I can with others.
So, I would be quite hesitant to date a nonbinary person with male genitals. My gay friends were very chill with my reaction in the experiments lol, but I get the feeling that if I did end up having a reflexive negative response to a nonbinary person, it would probably increase any dysphoria they feel and I don’t want to to do that to anyone.
I also dont feel attracted to anyone with facial hair (regardless of “biological sex”) so that might cut down on the nonbinary population I would have a desire to date too.
The main point Id like to make here is that gender in general stupid for many reasons including, in my opinion, trying to define attraction. I don’t care what pronouns someone uses or if how they dress aligns with a specific gender or what social norms they adhere to specific to genders. What is most important to attraction is, specifically, attraction.
Does this person have the seemingly random traits my brain likes and not the ones it dislikes? Great. Maybe for some people those attractive or repulsive attributes fall along gender lines perfectly but I seriously doubt that’s the case for anyone especially since gender lines are more gradients than lines in the first place.
I would probably be fine dating a nonbinary person who has the traits which I like (physical and non-physical btw, like idc if someone’s hot; if they’re rude or cruel to others, they can gtfo) and not traits I dislike but that’s kind of as specific as I can get and none of my attraction/repulsion stems directly from gender.
Anyway, I again would like to tell anyone reading this that if someone (including me) doesn’t find you attractive, it should have no bearing on how you see yourself or your perceived self worth. Tell yourself “they don’t know what they’re missing” and keep on being you because you’re awesome and they’re just some idiot whose opinion shouldn’t matter to you anyway. (Plus there is plenty more to life than sex, I mean who cares about sexual attraction when there is cool physics and mathematics to learn right?)
Date: sure, why not. I don’t want to die curious. But I’m really not into guys so if you come across as one I’ll pass, which makes it seem like I’d be wasting both of ours time by not going for a woman to begin with.
If we got along and I found them attractive, sure.
Are they going to put up with me playing copious amounts of city building games, my weekly Dungeons & Dragons game, and never shutting up about Aztec history?
