I clarify:
Someone has experience in this, or you know people who have done this? I understand that this is disgusting, but I am very interested. I’m interested in hearing real stories with consequences.
Past poor decisions have taught me this:
Don’t do anything you’re going to have to lie about. If you do, don’t lie about it. If you do, make it right as soon as possible.
I have plenty of problems in my life but a guilty conscience isn’t one of them.
I tell my kid all the time, the fewer lies you tell, the less you have to remember.
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How did you decide it was something you wanted to do/get into?
Who do you have sex with more often - your husband or people other than him?
Is swinging something you attend consistently like a sport club or something you do “seasonally” when you two really feel like it?
If it is more of a routine obligation/club, does that mean people sometimes turn up but don’t feel like having sex?
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Do you have to work hard to hide this side of your relationship from “normal” society? There’s a lot of (completely unwarranted, imo) shame associated with this kind of thing.
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I did once in my very early 20’s. She wasn’t happy with her husband, and she made the first move but I can’t say I’m innocent. Wish I could go back and not do it.
I have a strange problem with my other half when it comes to cheating. It’s nothing bad on either of us, no decision we made, but a set of circumstances has aligned to make me feel like I was cheating on my wife. She had a chronic medical issue that I managed to fix using good testing methods and a spreadsheet. As a result, she started feeling better, more energetic, inflammation went away, and she lost a good chunk of weight, which took her from “Adorable chubby wife” to “Holy shit, look at that MILF”. This, combined with some strange visual processing problem I have where I cant easily recognize faces, and for several months I felt like I was cheating on my wife.
Never done this, except cybersex. I didn’t know her husband, but I knew he was her husband and we all played an mmo together. I convinced myself that he knew and didn’t consider it cheating. Then she kept venting to me about what a bad father he was for their kid and I slowly faced the fact that she wouldn’t be trying to convince me he was bad if he knew, so I told her to keep it nonsexual from now on and she quickly moved on to another player I knew. It doesn’t feel good, especially in hindsight. If you’re ever in that position you’ll feel better in the end not kicking the person while they’re down.
It’s too general of a question, with no single answer.
I’m sure some have had great experiences, others have had REALLY bad ones. Depends more on the people, what they do and how they do it than whether or not she is married.
