Oh mine is very simple and not much to ask at all: I just want pure, unlimited, godlike omnipotence.
I promise to use it in every irresponsible way imaginable.
Objectively the correct answer.
We allready have one Stephen Fry
You would definitely enjoy Preacher. Graphic novels are great, show is better than ok.
Guy ends up gaining “the word of God” as an ability
Excellent!
The power to instantly, constantly, automatically, and effortlessly transmute the bone marrow of every single individual on Earth who is being harmful to humanity’s progress and wellbeing (fascists, billionaires, global warming denialists, mimes, and so on) into molten lead.
Damn, what do you have against mimes?
I would like to take a screenshot of your reply and the parent comment. May I?
No issue from me. Especially if I can get an answer about the mime hate.
Lead is kinda toxic for the rest of us, how about something more compostable?
Bend probability to my will.
Example: Jump out of a plane (see a bowl of petunias and a sperm whale on the way down), bend probability so that against all odds; I start to fly.
Is there a monkey’s paw clause in this? Does probability snap back like an elastic on the things you aren’t focusing on?
There’s definitely an inherent paw clause to this power…unintended consequences galore!
Probability has more than one side, bend it one way and its also being bent away from another.
I would choose this too. Probability that I’ll win lottery next week would be nice to adjust. Also probability of getting sick/staying alive. And as I’m (allegedly) slowly getting older: Probability that I’ll wake up tomorrow well rested in a good shape and nothing hurts.
I’ve always liked the idea of time manipulation- stopping, starting, speeding up, slowing down, rewinding time. It has a lot of uses like giving me as much time as I need to get ready in the morning and doing good in the world in ways I won’t mention.
This is probably the best one.
The older I get, the more I’m sure it’s healing/regeneration. Wolverine didn’t have a sore back after digging an afternoon in the yard or sleeping without a pillow between his knees.
I have two choices depending on my role in the narrative.
1: unrestricted ability to grant other people powers with the requirement that I keep them balanced both in power scale and moral direct as well as not being able to use the powers on myself either on my own or through proxy.
2: I’m the Thing from Carpenter’s 1982 movie The Thing but every cell is me and under my control. If need be, I can consume an injury’s worth of biological mass to heal. I would mostly use this to get out of conversions by bisecting my face and spagetti-ing before returning to normal, apologizing for that, and saying I should go take my meds.
For number one, you might enjoy the excellent, then subsequently boring, show Misfits.
Actually yes, I watched ever episode as they aired until they killed Curtis. At that point I wasn’t invested enough in the new characters to keep watching.
I went a bit further than that and you didn’t miss much.
To never have to worry about the basic necessities of life 🥹
And the same for everyone else.
Teleport. See the world, visit everywhere, without enduring planes,trains,cars , nipping home for a quick 15minute alone time and being able to sleep in my own bed every night.
This is the best super power hands down. If you get a space suit, you could even jump to the moon. And in a single night every despot and dictator could be dealt with.
Hmm. good thought.
Would be so cool to have personal sanctuary in the middle of the wilderness to relax at without the worry of how to I get back.
YES!
This is the one. I hate driving, so taking the middle man out of traveling would make my life so much better. Being able to visit my family and then come back home to sleep? That would be the dream
Also true!
The power in Jumper would be damn legit. Teleportation.
Criminally under rated movie.
That is still one of my favorite guilty pleasure movies. It’s so good! It got so much flak but I really enjoyed it. The concept was very interesting and I really wanted to see where it could’ve gone. I felt like they could’ve done better in the movie but still, I’ll take what I can get.
I always wondered why the jumpers were even struggling against the paladins, though. I mean… they could jump literally anywhere in the world instantly. How are the paladins even able to catch up at all even with the tech they had? It was ridiculous. They also didn’t use guns? I didn’t get it, lol.
Well when they’d jump they’d leave a “wake” and the paladins could just follow that wake every time so it does kind of make sense. I haven’t seen it actually in over 5 years, I need to rewatch again actually.
Yeah, they had the technology to go through the “wakes”, but the Jumpers could also jump repeatedly at will. They never really seem to get tired and there’s no real limitation outside of not seeing the place. So, they could jump nonstop to multiple places around the world. Are they going to hop through 300 different jump spots? What if one of them leads them to 10,000 meters mid-air. We see Jumpers capable of jumping suspended mid-air, lol.
I’d just bait them into following my wakes and lead them to a final wake mid-air where they’d plummet to their deaths. Could’ve jumped into a military base, grabbed explosives and weapons, wreak havoc on paladins. It just didn’t make a lot of sense, the Jumpers would be extremely powerful in reality and there’d be little to nothing we could do about them. Maybe covert ops with silent snipers to take them out when they’re unaware. But that’s only if you can actually find them in the first place, which is pretty difficult. I remember one of the characters living in Egypt in some ruins in the middle of nowhere. It took the US ten years of dedicated resources to finding Bin Laden, now imagine if he could just teleport anywhere on the planet at will.
You’d just never find a Jumper if he really didn’t want to be found.
Yeah agree, they’re pretty OP!
To be able to talk to animals. Really just so I can talk to my dog who is losing the ability to walk, so me and her vet can help her; where it hurts, are the drugs helping. So I know exactly what she needs and where she wants to go when she’s barking at me for help getting up and walking.
So I can explain to my boy dog why we don’t go on walks as often or as far, why he can’t rough house with her anymore.:(
Unlimited do overs. I can save, load and redo any point of my life at will. Caveat, death grants me access to the load game function.
Shapeshifter: it’s broken as hell if you take it to the molecular level. Shapeshift into something that can fly, into a very thin transparent film on the ceiling of a room, into something which can withstand great temperatures or bullets, hell, you can even shapeshift into something that photosynthesizes.
Monkey’s paw version: you’re a shapeshifter like Odo in DS9. You have to consciously model every aspect of your form. Imagine the most detailed image of a human you can in your mind. That’s the fidelity with which your form will be represented. You can only take on a form that is as detailed as your understanding and perception of an object is. Your form is more of a human-shaped animate object than an actual human being.
Your form is more of a human-shaped animate object than an actual human being.
Plot twist: I already feel like that
Are you ok?
I think so, but I really vibe with that description. I don’t think humanity’s bad, I just rub people the wrong way much of the time in ways I can’t really perceive, so it feels like I don’t really “get it.” I do try though, and it seems like it often takes up all of my energy to pay attention to all of my body language and facial expressions so I don’t come off as rude.
extreme cum
how extreme?
Like 3.6 roentgen.
Is third person empath a thing? Like being able to have what one person is experiencing be felt emotionally by another person? I would do that, then really fuck up the day of an ICE agent.
That would be awesome!
I want a familiar named Git that obeys me.
Hey! That annoying guy that you hate speaking with is coming towards you
Git, push!
Would you look at that! What an amazing thing
Git, pull!
Oooh. What a great idea!
Git, commit!
There’s no way I said that, you must be remembering wrong
Git, diff!
So many possibilities
Edit: bonus points if you guess what I’d be stashing all the time
Waow! Look at those succulent cherries growing out of that tree!
git cherry-pick
Hey! Look what you did to that poor cherry tree 😡
Git, blame!
Oh damn, I’m in trouble!
git clone
It’s not me! It’s them!
