DJ Qualls:
I’d watch that though.
sun-dried Tobey Maguire
(just a joke i like him more than Tobey)
Also kind of like a dehydrated/big-head-mode Tom Holland. And also the guy who played the British Dwight on the original UK Office.
funny that you likened him to another spider-man actor.
btw British Dwight was called Gareth in case anyone’s curious.
That’s for the spoof lol
Citizen Z would make a great bond and there’s nothing you can tell me to convince me otherwise.
Michael Cera. He does a good job, but the whole time you’re waiting for him to do his “awkward teenager” character.
Haha, came here to say that too.
They should do something like “Young Indiana Jones” but for Bond. He’s an awkward teen with none of his later suave and self assured mannerisms. Michael Cera would knock that out of the park.
Steven Segal
Genuinely bad suggestion, ought to be top comment. Everyone else is just doing lateral stuff that would actually make a great movie
I also noticed this. So many other comments are making the next Austin Powers.
Segal is right to be typecast for the role, and would try his best to play it as a real James Bond. But his best just wouldn’t be good enough.
His best is barely watchable, it’s incredible that he had a career at all
yeah but it’s almost cheating. Sagall is the worst choice, the question almost doesn’t matter
Steven Segal
He’s the most awful anything to anything though. It’s cheating.
it would be so funny to see a 007 who can’t be bothered to stand up from his chair
i can’t find the original steven seagal chapo clip that made me cry laugh the entire time. if anyone knows where it is or has an archive link please let me know
Not a clip but him relaxing between scenes of whatever Russian movie this was.
I’m not sure if this is between scenes, it could literally be part of a scene.
You might enjoy his music. It includes him adopting a Jamaican accent and singing the lyrics:
“Me want the punani see for make me nice”
He’s such a train wreck…
Adam Sandler
I mean, he’s done serious acting and been phenomenal at it.
Watch Uncut Gems if you don’t believe me that his range is incredible.
Only problem is his age would mean you’d have to set him as a retired or M-style Bond.
Honestly, a Bond that survived, became the leadership at MI6 and got drawn back into the field could be a great movie.
Edit: this made me rewatch The Man From Uncle when I realized I was describing a certain character. Put him in one of those roles and I think he’d nail it.
Or not, suave might be outside his range after all 🤷♂️
Kinda done.: You Don’t Mess with the Zohan
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I thought of another one:
Melissa McCarthy and Amy Schumer are…Jane Bond(s)
(Because they rebooted it, and now there are two of them, but they’re ladies with vaginas. But they totally still fart and stuff, too!)
Danny Davito
My pick for the new James Bond
I mean…under the right director, she could pull it off. Wooden acting is perfect for an emotionally stunted character; I’d boycott the film but I could see it working.
Larry David.
Imagine him losing his shit over the smallest incovenience and start cursing all over the bond girl
James Corden
Sadly he is dead but, Gilbert Godfrey would be perfect.
Shit, didn’t have to read past the first comment to find the first name that popped into my head. Agreed, he would be terrible. And yet, I have a feeling I’d still watch the shit out of it.
John Oliver
I’d watch the fuck out of that.
Steven Segal
Seth Green
Tom Green.
Okay, but only if Pauly Shore gets to be Q.
We have all the sausage in the world.
The day they cast Tom Green as 007 is the day I know we’re finally back on the good timeline we were on in the 90s.
I know it says to pick the most awful, but settle down there Satan. We’ve suffered enough.
Gilbert Gottfreid
