when I think of the word “fetish” I’m thinking about people who are into feet, bdsm, femdom, cuckolding or MDLB. Not someone who just finds X ethnicity more attractive on average than any other ethnicity. Nobody for example is going to say to a white man that he has a white girl fetish simply because he finds white women more attractive on average than any other ethnicity. Because it’s completely understandable that most people prefer to date with their own ethnicity. But the minute that white man finds a black women more attractive on average suddenly that’s fetishization. It’s completely ridiculous.
My understanding of fetishizing is that it has little to nothing to do with physical characteristics, but is instead determined by stereotyping.
Saying you have a preference, even a strong preference, for physical traits that are more often, or even exclusively, found in a certain group is simply what you’re attracted to. Saying you prefer partners from “X” group because (insert list of stereotypes) is fetishizing.
For one example, consider the language that incels and people looking for “trad” partners use. They talk about preferring certain ethnic groups because they think all women from those groups are submissive, more feminine, adhere to traditional gender roles, etc., that’s fetishizing.
Those kind of fuckers would get a mail order bride just to fit the niche too.
I think part of the problem is the use of terms that are so broad that it becomes racist.
Let’s say you are an american with irish roots. You are “white” but you are not the same “white” as an american with Finnish roots. If you were to say that you are attracted to black women, what does that mean? Does it mean you are attracted to dark skin? How dark? South sudan dark or namibia dark? Are you talking about facial features? Body shapes?
Point is, saying that you are attracted to black women is a sign that what you actually mean is that you have an idea in your head of what features “black” women have and then assuming that it is true for all black women, which is racist.
I don’t know if I’d be so quick to jump to racism for that. I think most people see an attractive person and think “damn, they’re hot”. If after a while they find themselves thinking this about a particular group more than others they’ll start thinking they have a thing for that group.
I think it’s creepy when people get super specific about the range of skin tone, nose, eye shape, hair texture, etc. that they like. When someone has a detailed list like that I find it objectifying, like they’re selecting options on a car (or sex doll).
Maybe the person in your example does have a thing for Namibian women. But unless they asked invasive questions about every striking woman they encounter I don’t think they’d ever realize it unless they’re from the region.
Add to that the specific example of someone from the U.S. where ancestry can be mixed and uncertain. The person from your example might think they’ve died and gone to heaven if they ever visit Namibia but walking around an American city I think they can forgiven for just thinking they like black women.
i think an American whose family came from Ireland and an American whose family came from Finland are both white, in the same way. culture and ‘race’ are completely separate, Americans fetishise their whiteness.
No, that’s not a fetish.
People only call that a fetish because of ingrained racism.
They think interracial dating is somehow abnormal or unnatural, which is how they land on the term “fetish”.
I.E. someone is telling on themselves when they suggest that interracial dating is a fetish.
If the race is a must, then yes. If the race is a preference, then no.
Well I’m Latino so I only date Latinas simply because it’s way easier for me to get along with them due to me and her sharing the same culture, the same language, the same values.
I can’t date white women, black women, Indian women and east Asian because they all have different cultures, speak different languages and have different values than me.
“Can’t”? Lots of people do. Although she was white, I lived with a German girl, in Germany, for two years. I barely spoke German, and she barely spoke English, when we met. And, despite what you might think, there are significant cultural differences between Americans and Germans.
“Can’t” probably isn’t the word you’re looking for. “Don’t want to” is more accurate.
I really want to date east asian girls, but my wife won’t let me :(
If you get more wives, you can persuade them to vote for you and cancel out her vote.
i love democracy meme
Maybe, but I’ll tell you something. I never had much attraction to a race different than mine. However, I ended up living in another country for three years for work and over time developed a real attraction to a different race. I’ll say I was even more attracted to them than my own. I especially noticed this for a few months after returning to my own country. After a few years of being home, though I’ll say I have mostly reverted my preferences.
I guess it just showed me that attraction can be very situational and likely the more prevalent race in a country often set the beauty standards.
I think it is a fetish when it becomes the central and most important part of sexual attraction. If I as a Latino only see attractive, let’s say, Asians women, and I only focus on Asians women and I’m only looking to date Asians women, I’m ferichizing them.
(And just in case, no, I don’t have an obsession with Asians women. I find Latinas and Black women more attractive).
Perfectly reasonable to be attracted to physical traits or customs (clothes, hairstyle, body modifications) that are typical for a particular culture or ethnicity.
The problems start when attraction is contingent on belonging to a particular ethnicity.
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It is not “natural” to prefer one ethnicity over another. That’s because ethnicity isn’t a material condition that evolution could adapt to in any meaningful way.
Not to say that ethnicity isn’t meaningful as such. Boarders, sovereignty, and money are also abstract constructs that effect great influence over our lives.
