Theres a fish for every net, my friend

Yeah, definitely. Women who love guys like that are more common than people think. I know a bunch. I married one. Stay upbeat and financially self-sufficient and you can find someone who’s right for you. The idea that you have to be a tough guy to get dates has evolved from a misconception to a fucking psyops.

By the way, as a bi guy, I have never considered a man “adorable” or “a sweetheart” unless I thought I’d enjoy dating him. I must presume that women are often the same way.

No one is “normal” it doesn’t exist. It’s one big social hallucination. Look inside yourself and trust who you are. That is the most attractive thing I can think of. You are good.

You are attractive, probably very attractive. Your post makes it clear to me. You receive attention of multiple women, and some of them are even making advances on you. Manly men are in crisis, in my opinion. Feminism all around is putting the concept of the manly man in question, and you, my friend, are the next step, like the X-men mutant to the human being.

In any case, what’s a man, anyway? They will tell you all kinds of zombie answers. As someone raised by women and two absent masculine figures, I just don’t get it. Learned to set limits with bullies the bad way, always taking advantage of the situation cowardly, but effectively, and I don’t regret kicking them while they were on the floor. What I mean is, if it works for you being all cute, be cute by all means, but if you want to have sex, be all the cute you want saying that seriously; otherwise, people, women, will take you for a prude, maybe even gay, and I don’t know why, but that’s been my experience.

Be yourself. Don’t let other men show off by demeaning you, don’t let women think you’re some kind of a monk, especially the ones you are attracted to. Those are the limits.

EDIT: just to clarify, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, but it hardly works to project that idea if you want to get intimate with the opposite sex.

Leaning into this will probably garner attention from the right sort of women for you. The ones attracted to “traditional masculinity” (which is kind of a trap in some respects anyway) probably wouldn’t be attracted to you sexually in the first place, based on what you describe here. So you don’t really lose anything by what you plan to do. Go for it!

And if anyone gives you guff about it, tell them to fuck off (or whatever response appropriate to your vibe, but carrying a similar message, works best).

Just wanted to say that our modern ideas of masculinity are far from universal and largely ahistorical. It’s okay to be exactly who you are.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Male_Renunciation

Coined by British psychologist John Flügel in 1930, it is considered a major turning point in the history of clothing in which the men relinquished their claim to adornment and beauty. Flügel asserted that men “abandoned their claim to be considered beautiful” and “henceforth aimed at being only useful”.

Good sir,

The yoga community is starved for healthy male presence (practice at most studios as a man and you will be a distinct minority).

This community values the same gentle and nurturing approach you have realized that you embody. The fact that you are introspective, respectful and self aware just makes it an even better fit for what you describe.

I cannot think of a place more accepting of individual differences and the persona you describe would be very welcome in those spaces.

I wouldn’t recommend this to someone who was just a pussy-hound, it wouldn’t be welcomed.

Yoga is a sex-positive and body-positive philosophy that doesn’t focus directly on sex usually, but instead helps one become a more rounded person, part of which is healthy relationships that may include physical intimacy.

You seem to understand boundaries and respect. So this suggestion is more about how to build the kind of community where your unique gifts are valued.

I have built many valuable relationships through my practice, most all non-romantic but all very supportive. From that foundation however, my more intimate relationships have improved immensely too.

My two cents

Not being traditionally masculine does not make you less of a man.

The man who moved me most in life was a sensitive, artistic, nervous, sweetheart of a man, whom I doted on, had him sit on my lap while he cried, cuddled and kissed him until he felt better, called him sugary names (lamb, darling, sweetheart), pet him often, and just absolutely loved on him.

Men often get upset if you refer to them as “cute”, and I was unable to feel any of them put me on equal footing before him. The fact that he was emotionally open and outright with his feelings was what had attracted me to him in the first place. I am absolutely not a “dominant” person, but my desire to protect and love him in this was something no other man even allowed me the opportunity to do.

I recall saying that something was “cute” while we were out, and he quietly asked “am I cute?”. The answer was, of course, “Yes, darling! Of course you are!” If he wanted me to, I would have moved all the stars in the sky for that man.

Men (often secretly) desire to be desired, and it is weirdly seen as a more feminine urge. However, men who identify as masc can still desire the sensitivity of desire. Nothing feminine about it.

There are women out there who will desire what you have to offer. It may be a search to find them, but they are out there.

Did you see some of the guys at the Oscars this year?

Colman Domingo SLAYED it.

https://www.instyle.com/best-dressed-men-oscars-2025-11689188

We can have sash belts now? Nobody told me!

Woman here, you sound cute. in a good way <3

Yes you can! I’m quite the same way and you may enjoy checking out !femboy@lemmy.blahaj.zone :3

Be outgoing and funny and you’ll find what you need. Hell, most likely it’ll come to you. You wouldn’t want one of those chicks who fawn over those “masculine” man-children anyway.

I see no issue here. A man can absolutely be ‘cute’ without being any less of a man. Masculinity isn’t about rugged looks, strength, dominance, or any of that shit. It’s about self confidence (not arrogance, just being comfortable being yourself) and giving to others, both of which you seem to do well.

Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t found a partner to match you yet.

I have no doubt that you can find a lovely woman who is attracted to you. I used to be a girl fawning over a guy calling him cute and we’ve been together for ten years now. Maybe it is helpful to drop some hints that you are looking for a (hetero) relationship, like invite your girlfriends to help you swipe on tinder/bumble, let them know what you are looking for.

Your first paragraph is like looking in a mirror lmao. Hi!

Dating your typical woman was a path to constant failure for me growing up. My endless mixed house parties throughout college never lead to anything sexual let alone romantic either. Stuff like that. Failing to attract each other, there was just an obvious disconnect. I’d get plenty of initial attention (mainly because I’m extreme tall), but once talking we slid off each other. Maybe you get what I mean more than most. Took me too long to figure out why I couldn’t find a partner. One nickname was Gentle Giant among friends. I was so unsuccessful people accused me of being closet gay.

Don’t find male mind/bodies attractive, and said house parties included very gay and very open roommates. In the end I figured out mentally masculine women do it for me, and there’s mutual interest within that grouping. Non-binary especially. We really like each other. But there’s a subsection that really matters to me:

and expressing a desire to protect me.

That just does it for me more than anything else. Often found in people who have another quality… something I struggle to describe. People Who Seem To Collect Good People? Best I can do without writing paragraphs. Maybe someone else can do it justice.

So the short answer is: I can only speak of my own bumbling around in this weird thing called life. Possibly experiment more. It could be the problem isn’t you, but who you pursue!

Shorter answer:

but IRL is the good stuff. Usually they’re not in a dress though :P