I want to get bitten by a capybara and get the superpower of being chill 100% of the time.
Have you considered switching to indicas?
Based on the internet it also seems like every creature on earth is totally down to give a capybara a piggyback ride. I assume that influence is part of the capybara’s powers.
A housefly so my lifespan is 2 days
Bitten by a radioactive housecat, I gain the ability to sleep deeply and comfortably in a position that by all rights looks like it should be destroying my spine
Like I’ll take whatever else you wanna throw on top, night vision or claws or something, but I only really need that first thing
a cat. I would like my superpower to be that everybody treats me like a cat
Please get off the couch and stop licking yourself.
Nonchalantly pushed you off a cliff
Pss pss pss psss
Ok, I’m giving up on the cuttlefish powers for this. Also I’m be soft and flexy and faster than I already am! Also secret claws!
Most importantly, I can figure out how to be comfortable practically anywhere!
How isn’t there one post mentioning Mantis shrimp for the vision and punching power. Or any gorilla for being vegan and jacked. What about a giraffe? You could taste a women’s urine to know if she’s ovulating. Are these not no the default answers?
Mantis Shrimp have worse colour vision than humans. They need all those receptors because their brains are too simple to combine colours like a human brain can. A human can see hundreds of shades of purple in between red and blue. A mantis shrimp can only see as many colours as it has receptors. It’s like seeing in 8 bit.
A kitten, and my superpowers are gonna be huge dick and $10k/day.
Next question.
An axolotl. I love swimming, less so the idea of SCUBA diving. I’d spend so many hours just chilling in the coral reefs on a sunny day. They’re amphibious too so it means I could breathe just fine on land and in the water!
Human, so that I can be even humaner. If I can get humaner enough I might bypass superhuman and become hyperhuman. I didn’t know if that will give me 5th-dimensional awareness or make me explode, but if superpowers are involved, there’s only one way to find out.
Alternatively a mountain goat so I can wall-run through downtown like it’s fucking Skyrim.
“Man-Man! He’s bestowed with all the powers of a man… but he’s a man.”
“Oh, I bet Man-Man gets his powers from Robert Bly!”
Tardigrade, I’d have extreme resistance to basically all climates and can be dried up and rehydrated back to life effectively allowing me to “travel” through time by waiting in death…so my shows are all finished lol.
I’d also make a great astronaut
Edit: words
There is a pickle rick joke to be made in there somewhere…
Or Discovery joke…
Ladybug bite.
I would like to attain their hard candy shell and ability to fly.
Fwiw, a lady bug once bit my ear drum several times over the course of the longest half hour of my life up until that point. It hurts. A lot.
Man, that sounds horrible. I’ve only been bit on my arms and neck by them. I would pass on ladybug eardrum bites if offered, thank you.
Don’t let one negative review scare you off of ladybug eardrum bites. There’s a tendency for only those with the most-negative (and rare!) experiences to post reviews, but there are a lot of us out there who’ve had only great experiences with ladybug eardrum bites.
Hey, if it’s your thing I’m not gonna judge. But I definitely find myself on the outside of that particular community.
For some reason, bugs like my ears. I’ve had several bug-in-ear experiences, and lemme tell you, none have been fun. Lady bug was the most painful, but only the second worst.
But, as the other commenter pointed out, perhaps there are people who enjoy the experience. It takes all types, and I don’t kink shame. But definitely do your research first and make sure you want to try it before you find yourself in the situation. Don’t wanna end up like the poop eater on reddit.
An Asian palm civet, giving me the power to crap out exclusive high-priced coffee beans.
Wombat. The power to take square shits.
Dog, so that I could lick my own… belly…
I choose to get bitten by a catgirl and gain the power of not actually existing.
I was also going to say cat girl, especially if it means I can open up an onlyfans with my powers and make bank.
A lizard, then a pig.
Chop off a limb. Eat bacon.
Repeat.
Free bacon forever!
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