Bonus points if someone warned you and you went ahead anyway.
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Before you share unasked for information with someone consider these two points:
- Is this a teachable moment?
- Does this person want to be taught?
If the answer is No to either one or both, keep to yourself.
In related news: Sometimes people want to vent, sometimes they want solutions. If you don’t know which one is needed it’s okay to ask!
That’s sensible advice - often, sharing the info sounds like “I assume that you’re an ignorant, so let me enlighten you little thing”. And/or fails to take into account relevant, but unmentioned details.
However, when discussing in public (like here), and in more general grounds, there’s a complicating factor - the audience. Often what you say might not be useful to the person whom you’re replying to, but it might still be for someone else.
Regarding the venting sometimes people don’t want a solution they just want to vent.
I feel called out D:
If you feel like you are walking on eggshells every day with your partner you are at best with the wrong person. More likely you are being abused. No, they will not improve. You can try any number of strategies for conflict resolution but the horrors will persist.
That’s also true for friends or close enough acquaintances
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Obviously this depends on where you live and what job you want, but I learned that getting a job is less about “having skills” and more about marketing yourself. Optimizing your CV. Bragging about your work on LinkedIn. Writing a cover letter with the key words they’re looking for.
It’s all very stupid, but it matters a lot to companies.
The Public Defender doesn’t give a shit about you.
That if you’re happier alone, you should stay that way.
That just because someone treats you better than you’ve ever been treated before, does NOT mean that they are treating you WELL.
If you were bullied or abused as a kid, do some actual reading about what’s normal and healthy, and get out of a situation immediately if there are any even slightly concerning signs. No second chances, no guilt, no self blame, just go.
I learned this for work, too.
Added to that: your company will let you go without warning. If they’ve proved this, then they deserve nothing better. Since then I have ab-sol-ute-ly no qualms about bailing without warning.
If your spouse is near comatose but is still arguing he doesn’t need to go to the hospital, it means he’s in diabetic ketoacidosis and you need to call an ambulance no matter how stubborn he’s being despite not being able to keep his eyes open.
You get a bigger raise by just getting a new job.
And…
HR is there to protect the company, not you.
If you don’t feel it, don’t do it. Some injuries don’t heal right, and many of the hobbies I enjoy have a pretty damned high risk factor. Almost every single time I’ve had a serious injury, that little voice was telling me “This one might not end well”, and I went for it anyway.
I could have walked away, called it a day, and come back another time. It wasn’t a contest, I was just out filming a few tricks for my “You’re turning 40 and still doing it” video. Didn’t stretch, didn’t warm up, and my over enthusiastic filmer was all “Try this, do that”. Ended up collapsing my knee and fully tearing my MCL.
Between that and a few neck and back fractures over the years, my mobility and flexibility are pretty well shot. There are things I just can’t do anymore.
Sure I still skate, and am amazed just how much I can still get away with, but now every minute on the board includes a constant “Is this safe? Is this worth it?” chant.
The value of a consistent circadian rhythm.
Oh, that’s the dream. #n24swd
It took me years of reading, talking, and thinking to break religious childhood indoctrination. Being able to let go of a fear of hell was a big step near the end I think.
A funny thing I found out about dwelling on negative emotions like fear and guilt is that it never helped me become a better person. Quite the opposite. Only by facing my issues head-on and forgiving myself if/when I screw up do I actually make progress. (Some religions would have us look ‘outside’ ourselves for forgiveness, but that always places our spiritual wellbeing on some unknowable other.)
Don’t drink alcohol with a mood disorder, It might seem ok for a while, but it’s totally not.
Never stick your dick in crazy. The sex is great but it’s absolutely not worth the drama. That being said … it was a fun lesson to learn!
Unless you knocked up crazy…
If she says you don’t need to use protection, you need to use protection.
Seconded!
Both statements.
Who’s crazy?
I learned not to say things about people behind their back, that you’d not be prepared to say to their face, aged 14.
Cost me a black eye & split lip, also some pride. Valuable lesson though that stuck with me to this day over 2 decades later.
Knoble, sorry for calling you Knobless.
Your grandparents/parents had a whole life before you. Loves, wishes, likes, dislikes. You can ask them about literally any topic in the world and they will probably be happy to talk to you about it. Where was their first holiday? What did they watch on TV, who was their hero, what job did they actually want to do.
One day they will be gone before you if life goes the natural way and it will be too late to ask and you may regret not taking a moment for a chat.
Along with asking them things, go do shit with them when they show interest in things you might like, you never know if you’ll get that chance again.
I still remember turning my grandfather down on a trip to go see Sue (the big fukkin TRex) when I was younger because I was playing with a friend that day and was a little shit. That memory is like a core regret, and I don’t think he ever made an offer like that again…
