For some reason I’ve just never liked Spider-Man. He comes off as a whiney, ignorant child that never seems to grow up or mature despite everything he goes through. I love a good coming of age story, but he just never seems to become an adult.
Tony Stark - oligarchic propagandist for normalizing the myth of exceptionalism
Stark was literally written to be a character that people should by all rights despise but was nonetheless a hero. That was entirely the point of him.
The thing about his movie is that he was like, almost okay. Iron Man I was about him learning that selling weapons = bad. He could have continued his moral development.
Instead, we got him fighting Captain America over a very stupid implementation of ‘oversight’ (coming from the guy who refuses to let gov. oversee his iron man development), being creepy to some random boy he just met (actually twice - first Peter and then some kid I don’t remember; in a better set of movies I don’t think Peter would be very thrilled to realize Iron Man was advocating for Peter to get outed in a national registry), and having a snit fit about how he doesn’t want to help Unsnap people who died because he personally is OK with his future with his daughter who may or may not be a robot he built to mime having humanity.What makes him really insufferable for me is his fans who think Captain America is EVIL for daring to snub poor Tony, and that Tony should go date Loki (no I’m not kidding; while I am happy with Loki being queer, I really can’t see the Marvel Universe Tony being a good date for, well, anyone ever, nor Loki being a good date until he works out his genocidal tendency issues at which point he threatens to become alas a much less interesting character).
Also Batman.
The Flash.
Not because I don’t like the character but because he honestly should be one of the strongest characters in DC but they constantly nerf him in the writing because they realized just like superman he could literally just show up and fix everything before anyone else even realized there was a problem
This annoys the shit out of me. I don’t care if you nerf your speedsters, at least make them consistent.
Batman. He’s a billionaire playboy living in a city full of poverty. He may not kill but he has no problem crippling someone for life. And the fact he apparently learns nothing about the joker over the decades has resulted in so so many people dying to the joker’s schemes.
And the reality is that he’s still that same child in that alley but in an adult’s body. He takes on different child robins because he never grew past that. He has trauma that was never treated and one of the main symptoms of trauma is being stuck in the time period that the trauma happened. He doesn’t really have a personality beyond the trauma.
Superman.
He’s just a dude that was made of perfection. Nothing can go too wrong for him. Perfectly strong. Perfectly sound. Perfectly everything.
Yes I know and am aware of the arcs he’s been in where writers have tried to give Superman internal challenges and struggles about who he is as a superhero. But it’s like he’s going to bounce back from it all anyways because he’s walking perfection.
And a lot of over-compensating guys idolize that.
He epitomizes a lot of what I don’t like about comics. He was strong and fast compared to earth people… And that’s it. The thing about being able to leap tall buildings in a single bound? Yeah, he had to jump because he couldn’t actually fly. Then he gained flight, xray vision, laser eyer, frost breath, and a ton of other convenient bullshit.
And batman is just a rich guy that beats up mentally ill people for fun, with young boy sidekicks in tights. Captain sunshine from venture bros kind of nailed him.
Batman, tries to solve the cities problems by getting himself a load of expensive toys.
He spends a lot on “normal” help for the city, but people don’t know this because they don’t read the comics.
Rich man who could do more good by not hoarding wealth plays dress up instead.
Ah yes, the good old take from people who never read a comic book
Ah yes, the Batman apologist
While arguably Batman could use his wealth better (especially in versions where he’s richer than Luthor, because you don’t get to be richest guy without being a major asshole who does things like force workers to pee in bottles), the other guy/gal also has a point. The comic book universe isn’t our universe, it has aliens invading and Spwecial People who have to be fought by other special people. Batman is basically super-powered the way he can run a marathon, run a chemical analysis and synthesize a new cure for something overnight, and jump 10 feet, they just pretend otherwise.
You might enjoy Harley Quinn where Batman gets arrested for tax fraud.
He also does put money into trying to fix the city. Gotham is canonically cursed like five times over. No matter how much cash you mainline into the city it’s not going to get better.
I really can’t stand Damian Wayne I just find him annoying and bratty.
If anyone has any good story recommendations with him I would like to hear about it.
At first I thought you said Damon Wayans, and for the first time in ever, I thought about the movie Blankman.
My first thought too! How could you talk shit on Blankman? J5!
johnny five?
That’s why I liked Super Sons so much. Damians saltiness gets perfectly balanced out by Jon’s sweetness.
That’s also why Bats amd Supes are such a good duo, they play off each other and through that complete each other.
Damn you Brandis for taking Super Sons from us Angrily shakes fist at sky
That sounds good, I look into it. I do love Bat and Super team up, and it sounds like it can be similar.
Stories where someone slaps the dogshit out of him?
I recommend Batman and Robin by Tomasi & Gleason. What’s great about Damian being annoying and bratty is that it allows some character growth. Unfortunately, whenever a new writer takes over, it results in him regressing back to his previous characterization.
I also recommend Batman and Robi n with Dick Grayson as Batman. Its has an unique take on Dynamic Duo with a serious Robin and Light-hearted Batman.
If you like those you can check out Robin Solo run and supersons as well.
I check those out, another person also recommend supersons, and I will look into it it sounds like something I would like.
The Flash. No list of reasons. Just never appealed to me at all.
Specifically Ezra Miller. God damn, fuck that guy.
All of them. Can’t stand the superhero-dominated media market.
I agree, they are just not for me either… It just feels the cinema industry focusing on what is safe to sell well enough.
Maybe the original material (comics) is way better than what I could see on TV growing in the 90s , not sure.
Yeah it’s just such a simple and easy topic. Studios funnel all their money and focus into a genre that requires no creativity.
After Iron Man 2008, sure it was neat for a few years to see a “connected universe” but it’s a bit of a joke now…
That’s what makes me the most excited for auteurs like Francis Ford Coppola or Lynch or Aronofsky or Tarkovsky - I watch movies to be immersed and feel something, and blam-blam-boom-booms have just never done it for me.
I prefer film-as-art over film-as-entertainment I guess?
The word is pretentious. Both types are great, but ivory tower types who name drop basic Artisic™ directors like they just took their first film class I find to be more irritating than people who just want to have fun.
Be more Ebert, less RT Meter.
Wow, you must have lots of friends and be fun at parties, dick 😂🤣😂
Pretty much yeah! Imagine that, someone who thinks you’re a try-hard poser actually has a rich life and is usually the host of many parties filled with authentic people who would gladly mock, openly, the thoroughly asinine dog shit you said above. Maybe nicer though.
Cope.
Fuck, you are so cool. Edgy and cool. Too cool to like a single super hero which are diverse and many! Finger guns Please, dunk my nerd face in the trashcan.
Cool, hip people hate superheroes and downvote me for saying you’re a contrary, close minded, jerk off.
Cyclops. What a toolbox.
And in the X-Men ‘97 reboot, WOW! have they ramped up the toolbox factor.
I can’t think of the name, but that one superhero that wears the funny outfit.
Hulk. He’s an angry green guy with muscles, created with gamma radiation, nothing special. After a while, he feels less like a super hero and more like a Super Smash Bros fighter.
For this same reason, he’s one of my favorites.
Yeah, out of all of the superheroes that have the spotlight, Hulk’s is one I just don’t find as special as others. His stories are all bland and limited. His rogue gallery of opponents aren’t even challenging because he easily defeats all of them and there are so few that were memorable.
And the way his powers work is laughable, because the only way he ever gets strong is just by being angrier? It’s totally unimaginative and soundingly lazy. Like it sounds thought of by some angry internet user who dreams of getting angry and strong to “git back at them internet bullies!” kind of deal.
It’s a great premise, but he shouldn’t be a “superhero.”
Superheros need villains and a reason to “save the world” Hulk would be a great story of someone who struggles with every day life trying to keep his internal monster at bay, but stuffing him into the superhero role just turns a psychological allegory into “Who we smashing today?”
That’s the other thing too - who is this guy even saving? Most of the times, his stories are about saving himself from himself. He’s achieved that at least a couple times but they were all non-canon yet did make for interesting arcs for a while.
Then there’s Betty but she long has stopped being a main factor.
All that Hulk has turned into now is just that - “Who we smashing today?”
She-Hulk, read a few of the comics, saw another version, I don’t get the appeal. So she’s a lawyer, so is Daredevil, it’s a job that doesn’t lend itself well to perilous adventures. Filing a brief…at the edge of madness! She forgot that the county clerk’s office is closed on Memorial Day (US observed)!!! Dun dun duuuunnn
I kinda hate all spin-off superheroes. Supergirl, Superdog, Batgirl; although it’s mostly _Girl versions of _Man. You never see WonderMan. WhitePanther wouldn’t get much love. It just feels like wringing the ol’ franchise of every last drop of blood.
Sometimes it bites me. SpiderVerse is supposed to be good, but it breaks my spin-off Rule.
White Panther
This idea is like nitroglycerine
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LOL they should have named him “White Power Wolf.” Maybe that’d have helped.
Yeah, spin offs aren’t my thing, except for Frasier.
Deadpool. He’s not funny, he’s just obnoxious.
Fuuuuuuck…
I hated how he became the symbol now of people who’re desperately quirky. You couldn’t throw a damn rock without it hitting some average person who closely associates with Deadpool because “he’s like me! I say and do random shit for the lulz and so does he and that’s all foonay!”.
And yes he is fucking obnoxious to the nth degree, he isn’t creatively written or crafty with his wits. People just think “oh Deadpool is totally the guy who’d ride a unicorn into battle…BECAUSE IT’S DEADPOOL! HAW HAW HAW!!”. Like I don’t think I want Deadpool to be overly serious or edgy, I just want him to be written not in the way he is now. I just feel there could be more there because he’s not a character anymore - he’s noise. Loud and obnoxious noise.
He has really departed from the way he was written in the beginning. Becoming popular forced the character to be written shallow.
Did you ever watch the Spiderverse movies? I feel like you’d appreciate Peter B Parker a lot.
Personally I don’t really hate any superheroes. I never fell in love with Wolverine like most people did though. My first experiences with X Men were the first two live action movies, however.
