Not the most recent, because this happened years ago, but I once managed to run over my own hand with an office chair – while I was sitting on it.
That’s pretty amazing actually. How did you manage such a feat?
I noticed I had dropped a piece of paper, and one of the wheels was on top of it. I tried to do a little hop to quickly pull the paper out, and somehow I landed on the hand pulling the paper.
So technically I more hopped onto more than ran over the hand, but I took some narrative liberties for comedic effect.
Thanks for the update. Hopping instead of running over doesn’t take any points from the feat. Good job!
I was opening a box that was taped shut with a screwdriver, pulling it towards myself to rip open the tape. The rest of the tape went a lot faster than I was expecting, and since I was still pulling I wound up jabbing myself in the stomach (just bruised, I’m fine).
Definitely grabbing scissors or a knife next time and going away from myself!
Definitely grabbing scissors or a knife next time and going away from myself!
Had me in the first half, NGL.
Gosh that’s usually one of those mistakes you only make once. Just thrust the opposite direction next time please 🙏
I will, and I promise to be controlled and purposeful with my thrusting in the future 😁
me and knives and cutters of any sort do not get along. i usually use a key on my keychain to open taped boxes (like from mail order). just poke it on one end and run it through. no risk to anything. i still have the last scar from the last time i used a knife to open a box, years ago.
Mine is a textbook example of a self inflicted knife wound that involved separating frozen burger patties with a very sharp knife. Knife slides between the patties and into the palm of my hand. I managed to not pass out and make it to urgent care where they stitched the cut together. Still have some nerve damage. Don’t do stupid things with sharp knives kids.
I’ve got nerve damage on two fingers tips, one on each hand, from incidents 20+ years apart. Fucking sucks trying to fish a screw out of a small space, stuff like that. And yes, both times I was being extraordinarily stupid and earned a lifetime handicap.
Thumbed myself in the eye trying to catch a ball. Saw double for a bit.
Oof 😥
It was an embarrassing moment of obscene un-coordination.
10 minutes before this comment, I was washing a knife and it accidentally slipped from my hands. Obviously instincts take over first and I grabbed it. The tip of the knife placed itself perfectly on my pinky.
A falling knife has no handle. Just have to retrain that reflex so you get your hands and feet clear and pick it up after.
Many times reflex got me moving and I froze at the last second. Of course my reflexes are nearly superhuman. So fine that I’ve stood and watched a knife fall and stab me in the foot. (More than once.)
Hope your finger has healed up well from that unfortunate stabbing incident, just did something similar with my middle finger and a utility knife. Tried snapping off the top segment so I could use the next blade but it slipped and, not being in the kitchen, I wasn’t thinking about its knife-like attributes so the grab impulse made a mess of things. To make it even dumber, I’d been gripping the used blade with some pliers with the idea that it’d be safer but if I’d done it the usual way (which I think of as somewhat dangerous), I probably would have been paying more attention and might not have dropped it in the first place.
Good news is that the next blade is definitely sharp, bad news is that now it has a taste for flesh. Oh well, at least my tetanus is up to date and it’s not a poop knife like in that one story from the old place.
I reached for something. mid-40s…
Sleeping. Woke up one day to frozen shoulder. Two years of physio and it’s still not right. Fucking aging. Being 50+ sucks arse.
Our bed adjusts via remote control, which my toddler loves to play with. That little shit tweaked it just enough for me not to notice, but enough for my neck to hurt for an entire week.
Paper cut on a friggin fry cup at work.
Using a mandolin slicer to cut a cucumber, got too close and the tip of my finger ended up in the cuke bowl
Cut-resistant gloves are a must for a mandolin!
Did the fingerprint grow back?
It was still barely hanging on by a bit so I superglued it down, small scar on the side but otherwise back to normal
i continually rotate the angle of the cutted object so that there is more force concentrated at a smaller impact area.
also when i start reaching the end i progressively slow way down. by the time i reach the nub i am either cutting with conventional knife or just slowly forcing the last bit through.
kinda sucks because its supposed to be fast.
Not recent, but sneezing and holding it in. Threw my back so bad I couldn’t walk for weeks. Ever since then, I’ll let it rip – into my elbow or a napkin.
A few months ago, saw a medical scan of someone with a big tear in their throat. The story claimed it was due to a held sneeze. Nowadays, you shouldn’t believe anything on the internet, but after my own experience, I could see how it might happen.
A few days ago, I tried to catch up to my 4 year old who was running down our asphalt driveway after getting off the preschool bus, running to the back-left of him, he turned into my path to see where I was, so I sort of “jumped” out of the way to avoid plowing right into him, just barely clipped him a bit but tore up my arm and knee landing on the asphalt. Stupid, because I should have assumed he might decide to change direction or something… seems obvious now.
Before that, a few months ago I was cutting a watermelon and, with my hand that was holding the melon in place, I pulled it up off the melon too haphazardly and the tip of the knife sliced deep into my ring finger. Borderline needed stitches, but didn’t get them. Got by fine with butterfly bandages and wound glue, but there’s yet another big scar on my hands. At least I still have all my fingers. I was given a Christmas gift of a cut glove after that.
I ran with my dad’s dog through the park. He immediately cut in front of me and we both tumbled down. I was pissed for a second and then I thought “wait there’s zero reason to assume this dog knows how to do that”.
I pushed too quickly on my french press and an eruption of hot coffee water shot up the sleeve of my robe, which trapped it against my arm long enough to burn the skin. I am hoping for no blister, but I have a 4cm red triangle on my forearm now.
Sledding down a hill. I thought the bottom someone had made a ramp.
Nope.
Giant frozen pothole.
Soon as we hit it I HEARD something snap in back. We flew up in the air. And landed - on ice - I landed on my ribs.
I have managed to injure my spine AND my ribs.
A few years ago, but it’s stupid enough: An older lady in the gym was unable to get off from a pullup-helping machine, so i grabbed the weights (! WHY? !) and asked her to step off. It was about 40 kg. Flattened my finger.
Wept in the locker room with the bloody finger in my mouth (I was dizzy because of shock)
Drove dack home shaking from shock
Fingernail is curved a shitty way it’s hard to clip it since. Edit: typo, pullupWhat machine do you mean? I’ve seen pull-up/dip helping machines but am not aware of one for push-ups. Searching for that term gives a lot of results but nothing with weights like you described. Or do you mean a bench press machine?
oh, my bad, it was a pullup machine, where you stand on the support with your knees. She was hanging in the bottom position, so it was hard for her to step off it. No gym employee gave a fuck, so I mindlessly started “helping”
Ah yeah, that makes sense. Those things should have a locking pin or something for situations like that. With most exercise machines, you relax to set the weights down, but those ones… well, you know.
Though if anyone finds themselves in a situation where someone needs help with one of those, you could try putting some of your weight on the pad to help keep it down so they can get off. Though then you’ll be left in the hot spot, so hopefully you can do a pull-up with that counter weight. Or you could hold it down with your arms and drop the plates when the person is off.
Yes, but I wasn’t thinking. And that wasn’t my first day/month/year at the gym. I guess this is how sober careful people manage to hurt themselves or die. My brain just wasn’t there at the moment.
No need to defend yourself, I can’t say I wouldn’t have tried the same thing if I was in that situation without knowing how it turned out from your story. You’ve probably since thought of countless better ways to handle that. I just hope this thread helps someone else who otherwise wouldn’t have thought of that and would have repeated your mistake.
I’m not even defending, I kind of also step away to the side, look at myself and think: “what an asshat, look at him!”:)
Closing a stapler after refill.
:[
Bruh it’s called a trigger warning
Also trigger discipline.
Also trigger finger.
