I’m all for any person practising whatever relationship style they want. What im against is using people to fulfill your needs/wants. Have fun, meet people, enjoy experiences, but please dont make people your experiments. You may enjoy “the chase”, but the long term effects on those individuals may have further impacts.

I won’t fully agree with all the other comments that OP is not a nice person for doing this. We all have our motivations, methods, and reasoning. That being said, considering the fact that other humans have feelings and desires helps to mitigate that main character syndrome.

I have, and it’s working out just fine! Negativity doesn’t encourage growth and exploration. High standards and low expectations do.

Interesting. I don’t find that’s the case at all. I’m certainly not “stacked”, yet I’ve managed to find two partners that I absolutely adore. They each have other partners as well.

I’m pretty sure being open, honest, and vulnerable with a high EQ is far more important than having great abs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to the gym when I can, but real open relationships are about more than sex appeal and jealousy.

…can’t have sex with rape these ones…

FTFY

Or… Migrate to another email service provider?

I found dating challenging as well. What I noticed though, was that the quality of matches went way up. The few folks I’d chat with were open, clear with their expectations, and knew what they were looking for. No aimless dating and assumptions.

The same can be said for monogamous relationships, but we’re not taught how to be clear with our needs, making assumptions and guesswork the foundation for relationships.

I’m glad you’ve found something that works for you, and I’m proud of you for challenging yourself.

There are a few different spectrums to consider.

Sex - Asexual to swinging NSA Relationships - Closed to Open Partners - One to Many

Any variation of these is valid, and provides non-linear descriptions for folks to find their relationship identities.

Excellent points. Every relationship is valid, and only we can determine what works for ourselves. I choose poly and CNM because I have an abundance of love to offer, and know I can’t find everything I need in one person.

I appreciate the concerns about jealousy and division of attention. Those are common concerns, and often seen in any relationship. For me, jealousy is a fear of loss. If I’m not afraid to lose my partner, what am I afraid of? This is what led me to understand that I was envious of someone spending time with her, not that I was afraid to lose her.

As for the division of time, that is definitely a concern. If I don’t balmace and manage my relationships properly, someone will feel neglected, and that’s not okay. Having two partners requires additional effort, communication, and vulnerability. I can’t get away with shit, and I have continually own up to my actions with full accountability.

That all being said, my parents are a model of sustainable, healthy monogamy, and I treasure that. They’ve been an example of what’s also possible, and I would never discount that. If people are open and honest with themselves and others, any relationship can be just as healthy and sustainable.

Great question. The main point that’s shaped my view on it, is that no person owes me their time, and I can’t own them.

My partner and I have been together for 7 years, and started off as non-mono (CNM Poly). We’ve always respected each other’s autonomy and independence. During that time, we developed a stable, loving relationship, and encouraged each other to meet other people. I understand that she owes me nothing, and I can’t control her time or who she spends her time with. This was established at the beginning, so expectations were managed properly from the start.

That being said, we both choose to stay together. We’ve been through hell in the last 7 years, and I wouldn’t do it with anyone else. I’m comfortable knowing she’ll continue to be with me, despite her other relationships. Even if she decides this waa no longer a relationship she wanted to be in, it would suck and I would be heartbroken, but I would survive, and eventually be okay.

Another core belief is that we can’t possibly expect one person to meet all of our needs. This is a completely unreasonable expectation. It’s suffocating, and puts way too much pressure on your partner. We both have other people in our lives that help to round out our relationships.

The biggest thing for me is that ever single person involved intentionally chooses to be in the relationship they’re in. They’re not in the relationship due to a default, or expectation from a mono normative society. They’re making the intentional choice to do what makes them happy.

I’d be happy to answer any questions you might have about the topic. This is something near and dear to me, and respectful curiosity from others always sparks joy in me.

I use Diodon. I’ve set it up so that copy is CTRL+C, Paste is still CTRL+V, but what I call “Super Paste” is SUPER+V, showing a list of the last 20 items that were copied, including images.

Great utility, especially paired with FlameShot.

The only thing is that the Super Paste always pastes unformatted. Not a big deal, but something to consider.

This is a bit weird. I was just listening to Infinity 2 today (great book. Totally recommend), and there’s a section where the characters use Benford’s Law to prove reality. I then had to look it up myself.

Just a super weird coincidence…unless Lemmy is listening to me…

Agreed! I don’t need an endless supply of content, just enough for coffee and bathroom breaks. There’s plenty to catch up on in that time. Plus, there are still relevant news stories and happenings, so the fomo is kept at bay.

The amazing ‘discovery’ was apparently made when they opened up Artyom Sidorkin, 28, to remove what they thought was a serious tumour.

Mr Sidorkin had complained of extreme pain in his chest and had been coughing up blood. Doctors were convinced he had cancer.

“We were 100 per cent sure,” said Vladimir Kamashev, a surgeon in Izhevsk in the Urals. "We did X-rays and found what looked exactly like a tumour.

“I had seen hundreds before, so we decided on surgery.”

Before removing part of the man’s lung, the surgeon investigated the tissue.

“I thought I was hallucinating,” said Mr Kamashev. “I asked my assistant to have a look: ‘Come and see this – we’ve got a fir tree here’. He nodded in shock. I blinked three times as I was sure I was seeing things.”

Medical staff said that Mr Sidorkin must have inhaled a seed, which later sprouted into a small fir tree inside his lung.

The spruce, which was said to be touching the man’s capillaries and causing severe pain, was removed.

“It was very painful. But to be honest I did not feel any foreign object inside me,” said Mr Sidorkin. “I’m so relieved it’s not cancer.”

There was no independent verification of the surgeon’s claims.

I like that there’s more than enough content at the moment to keep me preoccupied when I’m feeding my digital addiction through the day. I already see the fediverse as a success in that way.

Good point. It was nice to identify the posts right away when scrolling through, but the crossposting argument is valid.

There are quite a few posts already on TIL@lemmy.ml using this convention though. Given the larger use base in that instance, I’d be concerned about a majority tending with convention.

I’d suggest starting a new post here and gathering some feedback. I’m game to break traditional values if that’s where we want to go.

Thank you!

Relevant

Made by u/ejwestcott

I love this one. It takes a moment, but it’s good!

Mint with Cinnamon is my daily driver on my desktop and laptop for almost 3 years now. I ran a company for a while using Linux and managed to find everything I needed for software to run administration. It was great. I still have a windows tablet for troubleshooting and equipment specific requests, but I always feel weird logging into it.

Great thread! Let’s get some activity in these communities!

I just started Polyamory Alberta (!polyamory_alberta@lemmy.ca)! It would be great to see this build up as a community of folks that are seeking an alternative to traditional monogamous relationships There are resources, advice, and topics for all folks to learn more about this relationship style.