Well, your negative comment made me spiral and transformed me into a speed bump on the road to progress. /s

It’s fine, he can remember the hugs of his ancestors.

Real Australian Sci-fi: What if there was a woman named Muriel who loved Abba and went on vacation?

Tap credit card to parry, hold credit card down to block. Move credit card forward, down, down-forward followed by payment to shoryuken.

I saw a functional one for sale past customs in the Duty free shop in Singapore. Make of that what you will

No, we’re going to continue on this path until we have to suck the liquids out of your body to cool the data center

I guess I’m moving to China, because fuck that.

I prefer to follow the Phil Spector gun rules. First, a gun is to man as a baton is to the conductor of an orchestra. By waving and pointing your gun, you can conduct and orchestrate the flow of any conversation.

Second, when I doubt, whip it out, if anything your gun can function as an icebreaker, a gun to the face, gets everyone on the same page.

And finally, shooting is fine, you won’t harm anyone unless you mean to. Bullets are so small, have you seen how big the average American is?

Man, what a coincidence. I own that movie too! I think Tom Holland’s phone number is written somewhere on the box. We should call him and discuss the sequel.

“Alexa, list local cave prices.”

In America pressing that button is considered a government handout. You’re supposed to cross the street using common sense and determination. Real men don’t even look to check when they cross the street because they have God on their side.

Last game I played was Magic The Gathering, am I still myself?

It is a hard rule but a lot of baking had more to do with managing your chi and conditioning your body. Very little of baking has much of anything to do with following recipes. Baking is about guts, sweat, tears and style.

I think you might have the Baker’s God Hand, because of restricted capillaries in your arms your hands are several degrees colder then normal plus your hands intuitively lower their sweat and oil production based on what you’re baking, because of this your sourdough turns out perfect.

Most bakers spend years training to achieve the Baker’s God Hand. Unfortunately there are no shortcuts. For the longest time bakers believed that the only way to gain the Baker’s God Hand was by having a white tiger lick the skin off your fingers tips. This was after renowned Indian baker Vikram Rao revealed that this had happened to him as a child on the popular Japanese battle royale bake off show Akogare Baker X Kami-Sama.

Then in early 2004 after a South African baker achieved the Baker’s God Hand the reigning belief became that the only way to achieve this amazing ability was to be have both hands pierced by a charging rhino. You should be thankful that you were born with the God Hand, it’s quite rare and I wouldn’t be surprised if some deranged baker were to try and steal your hands, so watch out.

No, of course not. I also need you to be miserable. A fair trade won’t help me break your spirit. Maybe beg a little and kiss my ass and I’ll consider it.

Yes, we used to but we stopped during the great avocado famine that lasted from 1845 until 1953. About 1 million of us died.

It’s called a flying Rabbi.

I was there too. The guy alternated between vomiting and screaming: “Does anyone have a truck?!”

I was next to you in the passenger seat and said to the vomiting man: “I know a guy.” You shifted gears and continued straight for another mile or so.

From the rearview mirror I saw the guy being lifted into another truck. I repeated: “I know a guy.”

You took a left and said: “An ambulance is not a truck.”

That’s where you’re wrong on two accounts, first off the counter comes up to my waist so I’m not wearing any pants. Second, I put my wiener in the cup while I long pour the milkshake.

Next you’re going to tell me you don’t believe I shove every straw up my pee hole without anyone noticing but the secret is I always keep one in the chamber.

I’m a master of slight of hand.

She was so deprived of nutrients that her body ate the ink. /s

No, we must solve this issue. You need to understand that nobody here understands the difference between fiction and reality.